Worth Fighting For
by NeverFadeAway
Summary: Season Six After taking on the Black Thorn, each warrior was given a choice, now they must decide what to do with that second chance.
1. Worth Fighting For

Episode 6.1

Worth Fighting For

by Karen

_I lied to Illyria. Though I did not intend to die tonight, I expected to. Taking on the Black Thorn? Alone, they are just demons, Angel spoke the truth. But I'm just a man. A man who spent his whole life pursuing things he couldn't have, first a father's approval, and then a girl's love._

_I'm just a man. I have my faults, no one, after all, is perfect. To err is to be human. I just hope I made up for some of my flaws._

**Eleven Months Ago**

The two slayers were on the front porch, one sitting on the railing, while the other leaned against the wood next to her, staring out at the silent, deserted neighborhood.

"What are we going to do tomorrow? The day after? We won't be the only ones anymore. We'll always be special, but no longer unique," she mused, "One in a generation, that's gone. What are we going to do?" she asked softly, resting her elbows against the wood, feeling the grain bite into her, reminding her she was alive.

"I don't know about you, but I know what I'm doin'."

"What?" she looked at the younger woman, almost lost in the shadows.

"I don't deserve to be here, B. I committed crimes, and I'm not done paying for them." She pushed herself off the railing, moving across the stairs to the other side. If someone didn't know her, it would seem she was running from something, maybe from the blonde she had been sitting next to. But she never ran away from anything.

"Faith-" she moved to stand next to her.

"No. I have to go back. The world's not ready for the new me yet. I'm not ready for the world."

"If you ever need any help…" She stared skeptically at the blonde, "Even if it's pissing someone off, or putting a price on your head in the demon community, because you're bored."

"It'd have to be a vampire, no body to dispose of," she smiled at the woman she had been so jealous of her last time in the small town.

"From what I've gotten from the bits and pieces Willow will tell me, you helped Angel, and you've definitely helped me. If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask."

"Aw, it's no big, really."

_We're all just men in this battle, most of us anyway. I didn't have any super powers to help my friends, and there was no obscure fact that would save the day. But I knew I could help even the odds, maybe even tip the scale in our favor. If I had only known about the pain…_

**Nine Hours Ago**

"Rest now," he whispered softly as he picked up his mortar and pestle and bandages, leaving her on the bed as he went into the kitchenette. He peeked back into the bedroom to see her still sitting there, before he sighed, pulling out his cell phone.

"May I please speak to prisoner number 430019, Faith?"

"One second please."

"Hello?" the cautious and suspicious sounding voice came on the line.

"Faith, it's me, Wesley."

"Yo, long time no hear. But then, you've been running that big time law firm, so you don't have much time anymore for the little people." She leaned against the wall.

"Faith, listen to me. We're taking on the Black Thorn tonight, an organization hired by the Senior Partners of Wolfram and Hart to bring about the apocalypse. We're starting the apocalypse to end it on our terms."

"Not the first time that's happened. So, what do you want me to do about it?"

"I'm not asking anything of you, I just thought you'd like to know. There's a good chance that none of us will survive this thing, and the world won't be far behind. You've always seemed like a girl who wants to be in charge of her own destiny."

"Thanks," she said after a moment, "Thanks for the tip. I'll keep it in mind."

"That's all I'm asking. Bye, Faith."

"Good bye, Wes." She hung up, replacing the phone. She bit her lip, thinking a moment, before picking up the phone again.

"Hey, B, it's me. I'm taking you up on your offer…"

**Three Hours Ago**

She pulled the hem of her shirt down, rearranging it. She pulled her jacket into place, taking a deep breath as the sun set. It had been awhile since she had worn real clothes, so long so she was uncomfortable in them. Real jeans... Dark, almost black blue jeans with lots of give in them, perfect for fighting. And a cropped baby tee that showed off her perfect stomach nicely. God, it had been awhile since she had been free.

Just then a car pulled up in front of her.

"Buffy's sorry she couldn't come herself, but she's guaranteed I'll be reimbursed for getting you settled," the pretty red haired girl smiled from behind the steering wheel, "By the way, I'm Hope," she gave her a prize winning smile.

She smirked at the irony of the name, "Well, Hope," she put emphasis on the name, "I know a few fellas who need some Faith and Hope right about now," she smiled at her own joke, but it didn't reach her eyes. Wesley wouldn't have called her if he felt they had it under control. She went around to the passenger side, sliding in, throwing her meager bag in the back. She gave her directions, and they were off, leaving the hellhole known as a prison far behind them. Faith promised herself she'd never see the inside of a prison again, no matter how long she lived. Even if that was until later that night.

**Three Hours Later**

Faith and Hope walked down the alley, carrying swords Hope kept in her trunk. The perfect little slayer, Faith couldn't help but think, remembering the arsenal kept in the old car's rear end, prepared for anything.

Hope kept glancing around, uncomfortable, "Do you feel that?" she whispered.

"Yeah. Feels like hell," Faith said, looking around for the people she had come to help out, "Not that I've ever been there. Heard about it, though."

Just then they turned a corner, and she could just make out Angel and some others at the end of the alley theirs connected to. A blue demon jumped over the fence and they were just close enough to hear her say, "Wesley's dead."

Faith stopped short, Hope running into her. "I'm feeling grief for him," the blue demon continued. Hope heard a noise, and turned behind them to look, her eyes widening in terror. "I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence."

"Well, wishes just happen to be horses today," Spike said, and Faith stared at him as she came closer. She looked behind her, at what the gang was staring at, and knew there would be no time for questions.

"Among other things," Angel said, too exhausted for sarcasm. Then he saw them, "Faith, what are you-" Angel started.

"Wes called me, filled me in that there was gonna be a fight. Thought I might lend a hand." She heard the leathery flap of wings, and looked up to see the dragon. "Though you might need more," she said, staring.

"Okay. You take the 30,000 on the left..." Gunn said from where he sat on a pile of crates.

"You're fading. You'll last 10 minutes at best," Illyria said as Faith and Hope joined their group. Hope moved a bit away, pulling out her cell phone. Faith looked at her a moment, then let her be. She was probably calling her parents and telling them goodbye. She felt a pang of guilt, she hadn't been totally specific with Buffy as to why she wanted out now. The girl hadn't signed on for any of this. She didn't deserve to die; she was 16, at most. But with that many demons, there was no way they could possibly survive.

Gunn stood, placing a hand on Faith's shoulder in greeting, "Then let's make 'em memorable."

Angel stepped a bit away from the chain link fence, and Faith, Illyria, Gunn and Spike followed him, giving themselves some fighting room. No one wanted to be stuck with their back to the fence and have no place to go.

"In terms of a plan?" Spike asked from behind Faith.

"We fight," Angel stated the obvious.

"Bit more specific," Spike retorted.

"Well, personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon."

Hope joined them, "I just started the phone chain," she told them, taking her weapon from Faith, "Help should arrive in a matter of minutes."

"It's not going to be enough," Gunn said, "But thanks for the hope. We're not gonna make it through this."

"Hey, don't be so pessimistic," Faith said, "I didn't get out of jail just to die. You've got Faith and Hope in your corner, how can you go wrong?" she asked, flashing Gunn a smile.

"Stop it," Angel ordered. "Let's go to work." Angel swung his sword, testing it.

_Then the wave of demons was upon them. They hacked and slashed, trying to stay together, protect their backs, but it didn't work. Soon they were separated. Together, they were strong, a team, but separated, they would fall, being just men. There looked like there was no hope for them, that they would go down fighting, a true warrior's death._

Before she knew it, she and Hope were cut off from the others, and instead of worrying about Gunn, already wounded, her attention switched to keeping herself alive, and the teen behind her, as they fought back to back. She had brought her into this mess, and she needed to make sure she would come out of it.

The demons came and came, too numerous and too varied to pinpoint which was what, no clue as to what would kill which, what would just bring more peril among them. She didn't have a choice, all the demons started to look the same as she dealt what she hoped were killing blows, cutting off arms and legs, cutting their guts out, slicing their heads off with one fluid movement. The body parts became too numerous to count, the bodies falling, the blood dripping, everything was in so much quantity, she wanted to scream, but she knew if she did, she would die, because her attention would be split, and they'd kill her, and then her body would be added to the rising body count.

And then someone cried out behind her, and she turned to see Hope, cut from shoulder to hip. She just stared as the girl fell, an anger building up in her she had never felt before. An anger that she let consume her, let it fill her veins with fire. She raised her sword to strike at the demon who had killed the young slayer, took the girl's life so easily as it had probably taken others, when a sharp pain sounded in the back of her head, and then there was no more pain as white enveloped her, taking her away from the fighting.

Gunn had his back pressed against the wall, one less direction to block, one less direction to be ambushed from. He knew he wouldn't make it, he knew that eventually, he would get distracted, with demons coming at him from more than one side, and he would lose. There was nothing to guard against it. He was going to die, he couldn't do anything about it. At least he was going down fighting. He would never be old and cripple, confined to a bed, waiting for death to take him. He was in charge of his own destiny.

He parried one blow turning to hack down another foe when he felt a pinch in his hip. Then the pinch grew as if a fire burned his body as the blade embedded in his hip dug deeper, into his stomach and intestine. He drove his sword into the demon that had gutted him as he fell, smiling that he had taken one with him, before he let the white wash over him, numbing his pain.

Spike didn't have a weapon in the beginning, but he twisted a demon's neck and took the nasty looking axe from him. And then he was in business, hacking and slashing, doing more damage than he was being dealt. He didn't recognize any species of demon, they were all foreign, and he couldn't help but wonder where they had all come from. He knew that there was an evil grin on his face, knew that he wasn't going to survive this; none of them were going to. It was a demon invasion, and there was nothing they could do. The odds were impossible, the chances improbable.

He felt a sword bite into his dead flesh, and it would have been a mortal would, except he wasn't mortal. Another sword found hold in his shoulder, slicing through his right collarbone, making every swing hurt. But he wouldn't let the pain bother him, nor the grinding sound as his severed bones moved. He switched arms, swinging with his left arm, but then a sword bit deep into his shoulder, and he lost movement of his left arm. He dived, grabbing the axe as it hit the ground, but then more demons came at him, and he couldn't get back up. He hacked at legs and hips as he tried to get up, but there just wasn't enough room to maneuver. A sword caught the back of his neck, and there was searing pain as it cut through, and then the feeling of bodylessness, before nothing.

Illyria had the upper hand. She was, after all, a god, though she was trapped in a mortal's body. She didn't have her true power, if she had, all the demons would have been bowing at her feet, knowing they had met their creator. But something was wrong, not the cuts and bruises forming on her body as she ripped more and more limbs from the corpses, but something internal. Something weighed down on her heart. Her body no longer wished to go on. It was tired, and it was hurt, and it had lost it's other half. It did not want to go on.

She was immortal, but when her body no longer wanted to go on, it became harder and harder to push it forward. She had been close to being ripped apart not a few hours before, and then Wesley had fixed her. But now here she was again, close to losing everything, and Wesley was not there to help. He had always been there to help, but he wasn't there anymore. She felt lost suddenly, having no clue who to turn to. Wesley had been the only one she trusted.

The cuts and nicks to her body became more numerous until there was no place on her body that wasn't sore and seeping with blood. She fought on, but soon it became a labor to lift her arm and snap necks, it took too much effort to put force behind a blow. Her body was tired, and she wanted to sleep. A knife cut through her armor to penetrate her spinal cord, and she knew it was time to sleep.

Angel looked around, unable to find anyone he knew. He watched with a twisting in his gut as Faith and Gunn fell, and then Spike fell and never came back up. Even Illyria, the demonic god, fell after the overwhelming odd became too much for her. He mourned each individual as he kept parrying and blocking blows. The ground was slick with demon blood, but he kept his footing as he fought, it seemed he was always one step ahead of his opponent. He always bested them. But they just kept coming. He had superior technique, but they had the numbers, and even though he was immortal, he was so tired, emotionally, physically, mentally drained. Blades of all shapes sizes and origins cut into his dead skin, but he couldn't feel them as he fought on, for the good of humanity. He knew that eventually he'd lose enough blood, and then he too would fall.

The dragon snaked out it's neck to bite him and got a mouth full of sword. It threw its head back in agony as he drove in to stab at it's under flesh, trying to find a way through the tough scales. But a demon came out of nowhere, and trapped him between the dragon, and slit his throat. He let out a guttural scream, stabbing the sword into the dragon's chest and heard it's dying scream as his body turned to dust.

_One by one they fell. There was never any hope for them. Just as there was no hope for me._

As one, they started, staring about them at the brightness of it all. Faith shook her head blinking, wondering where the hell she was.

"Do not be frightened, warriors," a deep voice said, it sounded from all around them, it was hard to pinpoint where the voice came from, until a figure showed himself, "Among other things, you are safe here."

"We-we're dead," Faith said, "I died," she said, uncertainty creeping into her voice.

"Yes, you all died, trying to rid the world of evil. But you have earned a choice. You can either travel to the Ghost Roads, be born on earth into a new life, with no memories of this one, or you can go back, and continue on with the fight, fighting for whatever rewards you might receive." The being stared at Angel when he said this, making Angel frown in thought.

"All of us?" Gunn asked, "What about Cordy, Fred? They all helped us fight, even if they didn't make it to this battle. Did they get a choice too?"

"They had their own choices to make. Cordelia went on to become a higher being. Winifred, with no body to return to, decided to go on to the Ghost Roads, to help lost souls on their final journey.

"Each of you must make your own decision. Do not let their decisions inhibit yours," the being stared at Wesley, grief showing on his face for the pain of humanity.

"There is nothing worth fighting for anymore, not to me," Wesley said slowly, "I'm sorry, Angel, but I do not wish to go back, in any form."

Angel nodded, Wesley's decision weighing on his heart. One more friend gone, one more friend lost to the fight against evil. One by one they left him to carry on alone.

"Very well," the being said, and slowly Wesley started fading, until there was nothing where he had once stood. Not even a chance for goodbyes.

"I did bad things in my life, I need to repent for them," Faith said slowly, "The world needs someone to fight for it; it has B and the other slayers, but I want a shot to do good."

"Very well," the being nodded, turning to Angel.

"I wish to go back," he didn't give any reason why, still lost in thought. It wasn't so much as a decision, but a compulsion to go back. Something still waited for him at the end of the journey he had unwittingly started on by tasting that gypsy girl so long ago.

"Very well," the being turned to Spike, "You are lucky to have this chance, William the Bloody, what is your decision?"

"Oh, bloody hell, I'll go back. Got some unfinished business, you could say."

"Very well," the being then turned to Gunn.

"I'll go back," he said, "Don't wanna be the party pooper."

"Very well," the being said. "Things will be different once you go back. The world is different because of you and the war you started."

Once more their vision was filled with white, and then there was nothing.

_I wish them all good luck. After losing everyone I ever cared about, maybe I just gave up. Maybe they cared more than I did. Maybe they had more worth fighting for._

.END.


	2. Not the Same Old World

Episode 6.2

Not the Same Old World

by Maddy

There was white, then nothing as they faded out of one world and into another. But as each began to fade into their natural world, vision was slowly restored like a camera being focused.

Where they were, Angel wasn't sure. It didn't look like any part of LA he had ever seen and he was pretty sure he'd seen all of it. The sky above was dark and overcast. _At least I won't burn to ash suddenly,_ he thought, _it would be a major let down after being given a second chance._

But the sky didn't bother him nearly as much as what was happening on Earth. The surrounding buildings were deserted, looted and vandalised. There was several small spot fires, but nothing else. No sound of people or other not so nice creatures of the night. _Myself not included._ The dark haired vampire then thought of Spike. _Again, not myself included._

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" yelled Spike. Sound came rushing back to Angel's ears. He then spoke his own fears.

"Where are we?"

"I don't know," answered Spike. "But it reminds me so much of Sunnydale a few years back when these Demons On Wheels came roaring into town, because-"

"I don't think we need a history lesson right now, Blondie," snapped Faith.

Angel happily ignored them, and asked his question again, "Where are we?"

"I think I may know," said Gunn, from his position next to Angel. Angel then looked around to see exactly where the other two where. Spike was standing next to Gunn and Faith was standing next to him. They all look dishevelled, Faith was shaking her head vigorously, stopped, then stuck her finger in her ear and wriggled it about. Spike seemed to have adjusted to the fade-in-fade-out, just as Angel had. Gunn on the other hand had started shifted his weight and walked on the spot.

"Are you going to tell us?" asked Spike, "Or are you trying out for the marching band?"

Gunn became motionless, as did Faith. They all stared at Gunn expectedly.

"Well, spit it out," instructed Faith after a few seconds of silence.

"You're not gonna like it," he warned, "but that building over there," Gunn pointed to a building across the road. It was only half a building, all exterior fixtures had been torn down. The several storied structure was missing about half of itself, as though it had been blown apart. "I'm pretty sure it's the Hyperion."

"Jesus Christ," breathed Faith, taking a step towards the old Hotel. "Isn't that the place you guys used to live in?"

"Not me," Spike said, "it was before my time. And after if you consider that thing were I came and tortured you for that ring. You remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," Angel said solemnly.

"You what?" asked Faith. Then, gave herself a little shake, "Not the point. You're saying that's the Hyperion?"

Angel took a moment to look at Faith, really look at her. _She's so different, so grown up.A better person, she wants to become someone worth knowing, worth fighting for._

Angel starred at the building in bewilderment and disbelief._ It couldn't be, it just couldn't,_ he thought. Angel walked past Faith and continued until he was half way across the street. His face filled with recognition, he spun around to face his friends.

"Gunn's right, it's the Hyperion." Angel turned his head slightly and looked the hotel over. "I don't know who it is…when did this happen?"

"I think the correct question is, how did this happen?" asked Spike, "we were just there, outside, in the alleyway."

"Maybe not," spoke up Faith. "When we, um, died and went to that place, how long were we gone?"

"Yeah," agreed Gunn. "We all know that time can travel differently on other planes, dimensions, worlds, whatever. How long were we gone? What day is it?"

"We just have to find out," Angel said, stepping into 'leader mode.' "We need to get to a newspaper stand, anything that will tell us the date."

They all fell into silence, the weight of the situation falling hard on their shoulders. Angel recalled the words of the being that gave them their second chance: "_**Things will be different once you go back. The world is different because of you and the war you started."**_ _The war I started,_ thought Angel. _Oh, god. What have I done?_

"We need to get going," Faith said, breaking the silence. " I get the feeling it isn't safe to be here. Have you noticed that there ain't-"

"A single person out," finished Gunn, "Not the mention cars, buses or trains. It's like a ghost town…and it's giving me the creeps."

"Like the Slayer said, we need to get going." Spike adjusted his leather jacket, stopped abruptly. "Hey, look! We're not cut, not even our clothes. It's like we were never in a fight-to-the-death battle."

Spike was right, Faith, Gunn and Angel were also neatly dressed and groomed. All cuts, bruises and blood had disappeared.

"That was nice of them," commented Gunn.

"Yea, real nice," Angel snapped, "No need to start singing praises to the Powers, they're the ones who got us into this mess in the first place."

"Wow," said Gunn, putting up his hands in surrender. "I know we're kinda screwed right now and you're pissed off, but don't take it out on your friends."

"Sorry, it's just…" Angel fell silent, at a complete loss for words.

"I know, man. I'm feeling it too," Gunn smiled slightly. "Right, there's a newspaper stand a few blocks south of here, we go there first."

"Sounds like a plan," Spike said.

"The only one we've got," added Faith. "But it's a good plan."

"Okay," Angel said. They began walking down the street, heading south towards some answers. Angel took one last look the Hotel that had been his home for nearly three years. It was barely recognizable. _What happened here?_

They made it safely to the newspaper stand, which surprised Angel, but made him ever more cautious of the surrounding buildings and the shadows they created.

"Well, I don't think we're going to find anything here," Faith said, sighing in frustration and defeat.

_No!_ a voice in Angel's head screamed. _We can't give up! We have to keep fighting, for the world, for our friends who died trying to make it a better place. No defeat, I got them into this, if it wasn't for my and my need to find redemption…they'd still be here._

But Faith was right about the newspaper stand. It just wasn't there anymore. Like the Hyperion, the building where the stand had been, was in pieces of rubble, blown up.

"No newspaper stand," Spike said, incredulously. "This is getting ridiculous. We died, got brought back, wind up in a war zone and we can't find out what day it is."

_No admitting defeat!_

"New plan," spoke up Angel. "This place isn't completely deserted, it wouldn't make sense. There are still standing buildings that people or demons are living in. We need to find something that speaks English and ask them a few questions."

"Dibs on being the one who gets to hit them," Faith said, grinning. Spike rolled his eyes, while Angel looked around seeking a good place to start their search.

They began searching in the building opposite the former newspaper stand. Outcome: nothing but a family of rats. Gunn yelped like a child which caused Spike to laugh uncontrollably and Faith to call him a sissy.

Next building: Nothing. Building after that: Nothing. And after that, and after that: Nothing and more nothing.

The four warriors were going through the latest decaying apartment building, Faith volunteered to check upstairs, while Angel checked the basement and Gunn and Spike looked over the ground floor.

Faith called out to the others while slowly and carefully walked down the stairs. "Seems as though your theory about people and/or demons living here turns out to be-"

"Right," Angel said from the doorway of an apartment.

"No, wrong," said Faith, "We haven't found-"

"A family," said Gunn from his spot next to Angel.

Faith looked annoyed, "Stop interrupting me."

"Now," said Spike drawly, looking over the shoulders of Angel and Gunn. "who wants to scare them first?"

"Huh?" Faith walked to where the three men stood and peered between them and saw a family of humans, a mother, father and two sons. All scared out of their minds. "They're already scared."

Angel knelt down, the mother pulled her sons closer. The family shuffled nearer to each other.

"We're not going to hurt you. I promise," Angel said softly, in the nice soothing voice he uses. "We just need to know what happened here. How did this happen?"

They didn't speak, the father opened his mouth then shut it firmly. Their clothing was puzzling, designer jeans, suits, pretty expensive shoes…but now covered in grime, muck and dirt. _What happened here? _thought Angel, _I've never seen anything like this, how could it have happened so fast?_

"Could you tell us what day it is?" asked Faith, seeing if she had a nice soothing voice too. Angel smiled at her as she made her way through the other men and knelt next to Angel.

The father looked confused, maybe at the question or he's just confused in general, but he spoke. "It's June first."

Spike swore under his breath, Faith let out a gasp. Angel starred at the frightened man.

"Are you sure?" he asked, the father nodded. "Eleven days. We've been gone eleven days."

"Oh, god," breathed Faith, she slowly rose to her feet. "Eleven days…"

"Time travels differently-" started Angel.

"On different planes of existence," finished Spike, "Yeah, for us."

Gunn came out of his reverie, "How do you figure?"

"Sarcasm," said Spike pointedly. "Sarcasm, lawyer-boy. Surely you can recognise it."

"Sometimes it's hard to tell with you," retorted Gunn. "And I'm not a lawyer anymore."

"Stop!" yelled Angel, also getting to his feet. The family recoiled in fear, his heart went out for them. _I need to do something._ "We need to figure out our next move."

"Buffy," said Faith.

"What about her?" asked the two vampires in unison. They glared at each other, but remained silent.

"We need to check in with Buffy and the others," Faith went on. "They know I came to help. If they know what's gone down, which they most likely do, we need to tell them we're alive. Plus they could tell us what's gone down," she added as an afterthought.

"Yeah, they could help," agreed Gunn, thought for a moment then said: "Who's 'they'?"

"Buffy and her friends, they head the new Watcher's Council," explained Angel. "They have an army of Slayer at their disposal, maybe-"

"They don't trust us, remember?" reminded Spike. "They think we've switched sides, well, you actually. Do they even know if I'm alive?"

"That's stretching it a bit, don't you think?" said Angel.

"You're one to talk," bit back Spike.

"Are they always like this?" asked Faith, smirking at the two vampires.

"Worse," answered Gunn.

"Right, ladies!" Faith called out to the bickering champions. "You gonna stop doing that so we can get going?"

"Sure," Spike said.

"We should make contact with the Council," Angel said, "If they have information, we will need it."

"Problem," spoke up Spike. "How are we going to contact? I don't know about you, but I didn't bring my communicator with me."

"We need to find a phone," said Angel. "We should split up, Faith and Spike, you should find a phone and ring the Council. Gunn and I will find a place for us to stay for the rest of the night and tomorrow."

"Plus food, drink and clothes," said Faith. "We'd better get going," she said to Spike. Faith rearranged her jacket, smoothed back her hair and let out a deep breath. "Let's go."

"Sure," Spike and Faith walked towards the crumbling entrance.

"Meet us back here in two hours, with or without any results." Angel said firmly, stepping back into his leadership role. "It's too dangerous and we can't afford to be risky."

"Will do," called Faith over her shoulder as she and the other vampire with a soul left the old apartment building. Gunn also walked out, but Angel remained staring at the family cowering on the floor.

"I'll come back with food and other things, stay here." And he left.

END


	3. Second Chances

Episode 6.3  
Second Chance  
by Karen

As they walked down the deserted street, Faith was shocked at the changes in the once bustling city. As they passed the hotel once more, her foot connected with something that skittered across the charred pavement. When she bent to pick up the bit of metal, she recognized Hope's vanity license plate.

Spike stopped, turning to look at her, crouched on the ground, holding the plate like it was a lifeline. "Faith?" he asked.

She jerked as the voice interrupted the silence. She looked up at him, "Y-you go on. I-I have to do something," she gulped.

He was about to snap at her, but the vulnerability in her face stopped him. "We shouldn't split up. We've got two hours."

"Are you sure?" she understood his silent offer to go with her, to offer any support he could.

He shrugged, "Lead on."

She stood, realizing just how shaky she was, and led him into the side alley of the hotel. Already knowing what she'd find, she couldn't explain the foreboding feeling. It was an effort to force herself forward. Each footfall sent waves of panic through her. Twice she almost turned and ran, but Spike was right behind her, and he left her no room to run. Besides, she had a reputation to live up to. She didn't know what Spike knew about her, but he must have heard something, how she was the rogue slayer. But something was making her nervous, made her want to throw up from the tension. She couldn't understand why, she knew what she was going to find. Dead bodies. And more dead bodies. Not like she hadn't seen a lot of those in her time.

But when she stepped into the back alley, she didn't find what she expected. There were bodies and limbs and blood. But a white moving-type truck was parked halfway down the alley. At least ten men could be seen, sifting through the demonic mess, and lifting bodies onto the truck. The gallows humor that kept the men from snapping floated to her on dead air.

Then everyone went silent as one man lifted a girl with red hair out of the pile of demonic guts and into his arms. Work stopped and everyone straightened as the man carried the body towards the truck.

A bracelet jingled down the girl's arm, and Faith remembered seeing it sparkle in the afternoon sun yest-eleven days ago, as Hope drove her away from the prison. Back when she was just going to help with another apocalypse, where there was little chance of dying, where her life was one big adventure.

Faith broke from her trance, horrified, "Hey!" she yelled, charging the man, "You can't just-" she cleared the truck trailer and saw two neat piles of coffins. She stopped short, staring, uncomprehending.

"Who are you?" one man demanded gruffly, coming forward, and the others turned to him, as if he was the foreman of the job. They all stared at her, the strange girl who had interrupted their work. Faith just stared at the dangling wrist, adorned with the sparkling charm bracelet.

"Who are you?" Spike returned, "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" She could feel him behind her, and for once, as she couldn't break out of her trance, she was happy for his presence.

"Follerin' orders," the man said, "Mr. Wells sent us as clean up crew after The Council found out about the mess here."

Faith couldn't take her eyes off the stack of coffins that had lids secured on them. She tried to count them, but the sheer number of them broke her. "How many?" she whispered.

"Twenty three, includin' this'un," he gestured to the red head in the other man's arms. He was just standing here, holding the girl close to him, ever so gently even though she couldn't feel anything anymore. He had stopped once Faith had yelled, and he stared at her as she stared at the bracelet, entranced by it.

"Hope. Her name was Hope," Faith said viciously, cutting her glance to the man, before staring again at the girl.

"Including Hope," his voice was condescending, but she didn't notice, staring at the bracelet. "But as you can see, we're not quite done yet."

Faith took a step towards the man holding Hope, though she didn't realize she had done it. She was wallowing in her guilt over the death of the youth. So young, she had so much to live for…Her life hadn't been screwed up like Faith's…

Spike looked at the crew, "Do any of you happen to have a phone?" the just stared at him, "I need to call the slayer, Buff-"

"You know Miss Summers?" one asked with a bit of awe in his voice.

"B? Yeah, we know her. Go way back," Faith said absently.

"Wait," the leader said, "Are you by any chance Faith?" she looked up at him, startled that he would know her name, before nodding, "We were told you would be here," he gestured around him, "Though we didn't expect to find you alive. A-Are the others?"

"We really need to-" the man holding Hope moved to put her in a pine coffin, and something fell at his feet. Faith's breath caught in her throat as she saw Hope's baby pink cell phone. She looked at the others with wide eyes, before crouching to pick it up.

"She has no use for it now," the man holding the body said softly, and Faith nodded, staring at the pink phone in her hands.

"Faith," Spike said, reaching for the phone.

She jerked it out of his reach, "No. I'll do it." She turned the phone on, staring at the bright, cheery welcome message and background screen. After a moment, she shook herself, and dialed Buffy's number.

"Hello?" the blonde's voice came through the phone; the stress and worry clear in her voice, "Hello!" her tone now held hostility.

"B," was all Faith could get out before the tears burned her cheeks. She didn't know why she was crying. She hadn't cried since before Angel convinced her to turn herself in. Thank god she had learned long ago to cry silently. Crying was a sign of emotion; emotion was weakness.

As her body shook silently, Spike took the phone from her. While she had been staring at the phone, the man had put Hope's body in a casket, but he hadn't closed the lid. The men had gone back to work. She tuned out Spike and the others as she knelt beside the plain wooden coffin. She stared at the girl's oval face. If she focused on her face, she could pretend she was just sleeping after a night of patrolling. But her peripheral vision caught the bloody cut that had taken the girl's life, cutting her from shoulder to hip. It wasn't the only mar on the perfect olive skin, cuts crisscrossed each arm, and a long gash would have left a nasty scar on her cheek. She was purple and black on all visible skin. To say she had taken a beating was an understatement. Some hair was stuck to her face. Through her tears, Faith saw a hand reach out and brush the red lock away from the pale white skin, shocked to find it was her own. She was shocked to find very little decomposition had taken place. It had been eleven days, but there was no smell or flies or maggots or other bugs in the dead air. The whole scene was silent, as if frozen in time, except men were sifting through bodies and talking to each other, trying to cover their own uneasiness.

Then everyone stopped dead, as the foreman headed over to one very pale guy, and then she felt their eyes upon her. She looked up, but they averted their gazes quickly.

Something came over her, and she watched, detached, as two hands she knew were her own flipped the clasp on Hope's charm bracelet, with the ballet slippers and the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe charms, and pulled it off the limp wrist. She pocketed the bracelet. Then she went over to see what they were staring at.

When she got close enough, she saw a girl with brown hair with highlights similar to her own. Then she recognized the black cotton tank top and hip hugger jeans and jean jacket, all darkened with dried blood, slashed to show pale skin underneath.

She stopped short, staring at the jagged cut across the forehead and cheek, the partially severed ear. She gasped inwardly at the jagged cut just above the hip hugger jeans that would have killed a normal person. She saw the left leg bent at an odd angle. She couldn't tell if it was broken, or if it had twisted when the body fell. The whole face was a dark bruised purple, and so was one shoulder. A cut had found that shoulder, ripping the sleeve seam almost completely from the rest of the jacket. It had slipped off the shoulder to show the tops of the girl's muscled biceps and triceps. A deep gash showed on the pale skin, trickles of dried blood were on the hand, showing that blood had flowed down the arm. The hair was matted, hinting at the blow to the back of the skull that had taken life from the body.

As she stared at her limp body, she couldn't remember receiving any of the wounds before her. The last thing she remembered was a biting at her neck, and then nothing. As she stared in horror, a roaring filled her ears, and darkness consumed her.

She found herself in a dingy room, with something soft beneath her. Angel was sitting on the edge of what she guessed would be a bed. When she saw the pink cell phone on the bedside table, she burst into tears, her eyes already scratchy from the tears she shed previously.

He took her into his arms, and she tried to find comfort there, but she couldn't. "She wasn't even my friend," she sobbed.

"It's okay to cry."

"Twenty three died because of us, because of you and this war you started. How do you do it?"

"Do what?" he asked softly.

"Live like this. I know it wasn't my fault, they came on their own free will, following their destiny, but I feel that I should have done something. I-I just hurt so bad. It's never hurt this much before. Anything."

"You feel guilty. Guilt is a funny thing. Sometimes you feel guilty about nothing, and sometimes you feel no remorse at all. Sometimes the guilt you feel is crippling. To feel guilt is to be human," he said.

"But how do you deal with it?"

"People go through it different ways, by trying to forget, by trying to remember. Some try to drink the feelings away; others drown themselves in sexual pleasure. It all depends on the person."

"What did you do?" she asked, pulling out of his embrace to look at him.

"What did I do?" he repeated, "I hid from the world, starved myself…you were there through the wacky trip through my life," he joked.

"You remember that? It's all hazy," she said, her attention diverted from her guilt and tears.

"Beating the crap out of my evil half? How could I forget?" he asked, joking with her.

His humor was lost on her, "So this is how B felt," she mused, "I-I went back," she confessed. "But then you probably knew that."

"Yeah."

"Twenty two girls showed up for Hope's call. Twenty-three lives ended. Forty six parents who lost their girls."

"I know."

"How?"

"Besides what Spike told me, once I got back, I called Buffy. Left out some pertinent information, like our deaths, but she told me about the cards slayers now carry. White if the parents didn't know, black if they did. I was willing to take on the burden of calling their parents, but she had already done half of the work."

"She's gonna know. Those guys are gonna tell her-"

"And we'll deal with it."

"If I hadn't helped, Hope wouldn't have made the call!" she cried suddenly, realizing her guilt was founded. It had been her fault that all the girls had shown up, her fault that they had met their death in that back alley.

"But you did. You did what you felt was right, and there's no way to fix that."

"But it wasn't the right thing. My help didn't stop anyone from dying. It only caused more deaths."

"Don't worry about that now." He tried to draw her thoughts away from her guilt, "Gunn and I found an abandoned grocery store. Figured the law would be on our side on this one. You should eat something."

"Could you get me a sandwich?" she asked, suddenly wanting him to leave. She couldn't deal with him telling her she did what was right. It had been wrong, and because of it, twenty-three girls were dead. She should have done more to protect Hope, she should have stayed alive longer to protect the girls that were coming. They had been teenagers, all of them. The slayer gig was big on teenagers. They had yet to become adults, or have lives of their own. They hadn't learned what love was, or gone to college, or started a family. She couldn't help but wonder momentarily how many of them had died virgins. They were just children. They had had their whole lives ahead of them, and still would, if it hadn't been for her.

She felt responsible, something she had never really paid attention to before. And that responsibility was killing her inside.

"Sure, just take it easy," he said, going into the other room. She wiped her eyes on the coarse sleeve of her jacket.

She heard through the open door Spike and Angel arguing. It sounded like they were arguing over her. Angel was saying something about how she needed quiet; she'd been through a lot. She didn't want her weaknesses broadcasted to the whole world, so she pushed herself up off the bed, and walked out into the other room to interrupt the fight. The three guys stopped and looked at her as she entered. "I'm fine," she stated, though no one had openly asked how she was, "I just need some food, is all." She pushed herself through them, and headed towards the bag of groceries on the counter. She pulled out a loaf of white bread, some cold cuts, and mustard. She slapped it all together, and made a big show of taking a big bite of the sandwich. She till had a reputation to live up to, after all.

But then it dawned on her. The person who she had been, the hard outer shell, not letting anyone in, that person had died. She was no longer that person, because she had changed. Dying had changed her. Jail had started her on the road to redemption, the road to change, but she hadn't been able to change completely. Her old reputation, her old life had haunted her, forcing her to live up to what she was before. But she didn't have that now. She didn't have to live up to those old standards if she didn't want to.

She felt like she had been lifted from a burden. She had been given a second chance by the Powers That Be, and she wanted to make the most of it. She wanted to make the most out of her second chance for the twenty-three girls whose deaths laid heavily on her conscious. Though she had never given school a chance, she wanted to give college a try. She wanted to live her life differently than she had been. She had been given a second chance, and she was going to take it.

"Faith?" Angel asked, as they all stared at her, with a bite of sandwich in her mouth. She had just stopped. The sandwich was still halfway to her mouth; she hadn't started chewing.

"Yeah?" she asked with a mouthful of sandwich, chewing.

"Are you okay?" Gunn asked.

"Five by five," she said after swallowing the bite. She took another smaller bite, smiling. Life was looking up. "So, what now?"

.END.


	4. This is What it Is

Episode 6.4  
This Is What it Is  
by Maddy

Angel had been sleeping, or at least trying to, although they had found a place to stay and beds to sleep in, the beds weren't comfortable enough for him. His standards had risen since being housed by an evil – but very rich – law firm.

But now was not the time for a rare moment of selfishness. Angel, Gunn, Spike and Faith had a seemingly impossible task of reclaiming a city from the clutches of thousands of demons…or they could give up and leave. The second option was, to Angel, unacceptable.

"Angel! Angel!" Gunn came running into the room where two beds had been set up, the other two beds were in the next room.

Angel sat up. "What's wrong?"

"There's some people here wanting to talk to you."

"Me?"

"Well," said Faith, also coming into the small room. She seemed better, the scene at the alleyway shook her up. "They wanna talk to all of us. But since you're our courageous leader, Gunn said we had to wake you."

"I wasn't asleep." He left the bed, straightened out his clothes, "So, who wants to talk?"

"Some Council guys," explained Faith, "they keep saying that Giles and B sent them, but-"

"It's best to be cautious. Where's Spike?"

Faith grinned, "Out there giving them a hard time. It's rather entertaining, but they're the good guys."

"The Council hasn't always been on our side. Their ways are…"

"Primitive," Gunn offered with a shrug.

"No. It's just…they don't like me and the definitely won't like Spike."

"Then let's go save him." Faith walked from the room first, followed by Gunn.

"Do we have to?" asked Angel bringing up the rear.

"Hello, Mister Angel."

Two men dressed to the nine stood a few feet from Spike. They were a pair of stereotypical middle-age British men. Tweed and more tweed, one wore glasses.

"Just Angel."

"Okay, Angel. I'm Jonathan Jones." The one with glasses reached out for his hand, Angel appreciated the gesture. Men who are brought up to hate and fight vampire, this must be a surreal experience. Angel and Jonathan Jones shook hands. "And this is Ryan Kellerman."

"Hello," said Kellerman.

"Hello." Angel noticed the lack of hand-shaking, but didn't push the subject.

"We should get right into business. You know who we represent?"

"Not exactly, I know Buffy and Giles-"

"Miss Summers and Mister Giles sent us here," explained Jones as he started pacing. "We have in our charge two young Slayers-"

"So, you're Watchers."

"Yes, Briana Collins is very young, only fifteen years old. But she's been in training for the past year. Briana is my Slayer-"

"Jones, why are you telling us this?" asked Faith.

"My Slayer's name is Sarah Roberts," spoke up Kellerman, ignoring Faith's question. "She's eighteen. Both are very good at what they do, Miss Summers trained them personally-"

"That's great, are you proud?" smirked Spike, taking a cigarette from a packet.

"Where did you get that?" asked Angel.

"Stole it from the supermarket when you stole the food."

"Can we continue?" Kellerman looked annoyed.

"Continue what?"

"Our Slayers are being handed over to you-"

"Wait, you can't-"

"Us?"

"You're kidding!"

"Wow, that's…"

"You can of course decline our offer," said Jones graciously. "But both Miss Summers and Mister Giles has asked that if you don't take them up on their offer-"

"We'd get a hell of a phone call." Spike took a long draw of the cigarette.

"Simply, yes."

"They wish to meet you," said Kellerman.

"They're here!" cried Faith. Spike looked sharply at her, "You brought them here?"

"They've been here, along with us, for six days now," Jones, who Angel liked more than the other one, went on. "They know what they have gotten themselves into. They are trained warriors, if it hadn't been for Miss Summers and her friends, we wouldn't have the resources to contain this war within the city limits."

"You also wouldn't have twenty-three occupied coffins," jumped in Faith.

"Slayer, it's okay," said Spike.

"No, it's not. I was there, so where you. We did it gladly, we didn't think."

"We did what we had to. Buff's plan was brilliant, she doesn't have to do it alone anymore. Neither do you."

"You're one of the team now," Gunn smiled, Faith smiled back. She hoped that this new life, and her newly formed persona, would work out for her.

"Are you quite finished?" Kellerman yelled. "We are at war here-"

"The war has been fought for thousands of years," said Angel. "It'll continue long after we're dead."

"I, for one, would like to delay our deaths for as long as possible. The girls are outside this…building waiting to meet you. They've heard much and I think it would help if you play up to their high image of you all." Jones turned his back and walked out of the 'building'.

"I like this," said Gunn.

"You do?" Faith looked horrified. "How can you-"

"We need all the help we can get."

"But they're little girls. One is only fifteen, she shouldn't have to die."

Angel stepped towards the distressed brunette. "No one has to die. But it's what we do, we die. But the important thing is that we get to choose how-"

"Not everyone gets that choice."

"But they did."

Faith fell into silence, Angel worried that it would swallow her. Faith has never been one to share her feelings or thoughts, he knew she wanted to change, become a better person but it was going to be hard and it would take time.

"Angel and friends," Jones came into the room with two women. "This is Briana Collins and Sarah Roberts."

"Hey, I'm Briana." The younger of the two waved to the four warriors in turn. Her accent was American. Briana had short auburn hair with bright red streaks and green eyes. She was pretty, yet short and very bubbly. "But call me Bri. Briana takes too long to say."

Before they could respond, the older Slayer stepped forward to introduce herself. "Hello, I'm Sarah Roberts. I don't really have a nickname, Sarah will do just fine." Sarah was British, and you could tell. She had an air about her that reeked sophistication. Their clothes couldn't be an indication of their socio-economical background, both were wearing track-suits with stains covering them. Angel and Spike could smell the blood and guts that had been washed off, but still left a lingering scent.

"Sarah and Bri are now yours-"

"Why do I feel like a slave trader?" mumbled Angel, crossing his arms over his chest. "They are not 'ours,' if they wish to stay we can't stop them. But believe me when I say I'd feel better if I didn't have to worry about two young Slayers with little experience."

"I assure you, they are very experienced. Bri had a brown belt in Karate before the spell made her a Slayer and Sarah is naturally agile and a fast learner. Miss Summers believed them to be ready for field work, shouldn't you?"

"By default, I trust her instincts. But I still feel uncomfortable about it. They are only children-"

"I am not a child." Sarah looked outraged at such a claim. "I am eighteen and have seen enough to no longer have the eyes of a child."

Faith made a coughing noise with an odd look on her face. The others seem to share her sentiment.

"Even so, you might not be prepared for this. I don't want the responsibility of looking after two young Slayers, but…I know that Buffy and Faith both handled the daily battle fairly well for their age. I'm willing to give this a go, if we all agree."

"So, do you?" asked Kellerman.

"Let's go have a chat about this." Spike led the way into the other room.

"I think we'll need the help," Gunn leaned against the end of one of the beds. "Slayers are too valuable to pass up."

"I'm with him," said Spike. "But did anyone else get the impression that the Sarah-"

"A complete snob."

"Well, yeah," Spike said, agreeing with Faith. "The little one seems a handful, talk 'bout high on sugar. Hope she ain't like that Nancy-boy-Watcher-wannabe. We'd end up killin' her."

"She's only fifteen," Angel reminded them. Spike would be able to handle a fifteen-year-old since he had been in Sunnydale when Dawn was fifteen. "Right now I'm worried about finding a more decent place to live, we need food and weapons. But since they hold us in high esteem-"

"We could get them to do anything," smirked Spike.

"Not exactly, Spike. But they would be useful…or a hindrance. This is making my head hurt. I don't have any experience with kids, my own turned out not so good until his memories got erased and new ones out in place."

"What are you talking about!" Faith looked utterly bewildered

"Long, long…long story." Angel's face scrunched up in a mixture of emotions. "One day I'll tell it to you."

"Okay," she let the matter drop. Angel was grateful for it, now wasn't the time for a trip down memory – which would then lead to hours of brooding – lane.

"So, we're saying yes to the tweed twins?" Gunn asked, getting back to the original topic. "I say we vote."

"All, in favour: say 'aye,'" grinned Spike.

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"And aye," said Spike, finishing up the unanimous vote of 'ayes.' "Should we go tell 'em the news, or let 'em fester a bit?"

"Spike, we don't have time to play games." Angel left the room first. Gunn followed, while Faith turned to the bleached vampire.

"Is it good news or bad news?"

"Only time will tell, love."

"Angel says that you will take the girls," Kellerman said to Faith and Spike as they entered the first room.

"Again, we are not taking them," Angel said through gritted teeth. "If they are willing to stay and help fix up this mess, then they are welcome. We'll fight for them and with them, but they are free to return to their families at any time. Question: do they have white or black cards?"

"Both sets of parents know, if that is what you're implying," answered Jones, "Sarah's mother is in fact a Watcher, but since she had never been identified as a Potential, no training was afforded to her."

"And Briana?" asked Faith. Both vampires looked at her with concern.

"Her parents were informed at the time she was. They have come to accept it-"

"Somehow, I seriously doubt that!" snapped Faith.

"They have, some people gladly and willingly wish to protect humanity. We did not thrust this world upon them, Miss Summers makes it perfectly clear to all Watchers, Slayers and the Slayers' families that doing what we do everyday is an option."

"Really? I didn't know that," she said softly.

Minutes later Angel and the other watched as the Watchers say goodbye to their Slayers. It was unlike any farewell he had ever seen, although they had trained and educated their charges for a year, no bond had been formed. This wasn't surprising with Sarah and Kellerman as they were as snobby as each other.

But Bri was a bright, friendly girl and Jones seemed warm-hearted. As Jones and Bri shook hands in a gesture of goodbye, Angel couldn't help but feel sorry for the young lady. A girl as social as she would want the friendship, and now that Bri is a Slayer, every friend was a blessing.

Sarah and Kellerman also shook hands, and the Watchers left after wishing them all good luck.

Angel watched the newest members of his crew devour two sandwiches each, it troubled him that they were so hungry, just how bad was it out there? No one had explored the surrounding areas and hadn't had any contact with people except that family, the Watchers and now these two Slayers.

With only a year's worth of experience behind them. He sighed in worry, they're only children. Faith was right.

Gunn returned from one of the bedrooms,

"Didn't get any sleep?" Angel asked as Gunn helped himself to a sandwich of his own.

"Got twenty minutes, but I'm so restless I woke up. figured I'd eat something."

"I'm going to head back to that family."

"Again, man. I don't think they've gone through all that food you brought them before."

Angel had returned to the family, where he discovered their names. The father's name is Bill, the mother Beth, the oldest son's name is Matthew and the younger is Charlie. Last names didn't feel important enough to know, oddly enough. He had brought with him food and would have stayed longer had Gunn not come looking for him because of Faith's collapse.

"I want to check on them. It's not safe."

"'Kay, I'll tell them where you're gone."

Angel nodded, "I want to help them, we did this and we have to fix it."

"No arguments from me. Go do your thing, we'll be here when you get back."

Angel was nearly at the front door when Bri jumped in his path. "Can I come with?"

"Next time, they're still a bit freaked out. Maybe in a few days I'll take you with me, are you good with kids?"

"Sure."

"Good, it's a family of four, a mom, a dad and two boys. The oldest is about ten and the youngest looks around six."

"No prob, I'm great with things younger than me." She flashed him a grin. She was definitely growing on him. Whereas Sarah…not a whole lot of love going around.

"Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Bye," waved Bri as he left the building that had temporarily become her and everyone else's home.

"Hello," Angel walked through the entrance to the family's…residence. It doesn't sound so homey when I think of it as a 'residence.' "Hello?"

"Mister Angel," greeted Beth with a small smile. "Sorry…Angel."

"It's okay. How is everything?"

"Better, thank you again for the food."

"It was my pleasure. Where's Bill and the boys?"

"In the other room. Do you want to see them?"

"Yeah, wouldn't mind."

Beth nodded once, turned around and walked through a doorframe and into the other room the family used.

"Beth, what's your last name?"

"Morris."

He took that in. "Hi, Bill. Matt, Charlie," he greeted the remaining of the Morris family.

"Angel, we didn't expect you back so soon." Bill got to his feet.

He shrugged, "I wanted to check on you. It's not safe." _And it's because of me. I'm so sorry_.

"Yes, that's for sure. But you don't have to keep coming back."

"But I will, I promise."

"Thank you," Bill smiled sadly, " We were about to have dinner, do you want to eat something?"

"No thanks, I just ate." Which was a lie, but since the Morris' were human, they ate human food. Angel wouldn't bother, it doesn't taste the same. Chocolate and peanut butter. He pushed that memory into the back of his mind.

Angel watched them eat 'dinner' which consisted of bread, cold meats and canned vegetables. The Morris' also had an air of sophistication, he didn't want to pry into their private life – their former life – but it was quite obvious they were rich. It makes the guilt that much heavier.

The Morris' were a wonderful family, caring and considerate of each other and had oddly welcomed Angel whole-heartedly. Maybe they just need a champion.

They only occupied two rooms of the old apartment building, that doesn't mean two separate apartments, but two rooms. On the ground floor; the first apartment as you walk through the burnt out doorway has been claimed by them. The cleared out debris from the living room/kitchen and one bedroom was piled out in the entrance of the building. Angel suspected they would burn it for warmth eventually.

"Are you sure you don't want to come back with me?"

"At the moment, quite sure," answered Bill with tired eyes. None of the Morris' looked as though they got more than about six hours sleep each night. Too afraid to close their eyes, Angel felt another guilty pang. "We're touched that you'd think of us, no one out there is thinking of anyone but themselves. Maybe you should do the same."

"Don't worry about me."

"Mom says that she is," Charlie bit into his sandwich, pieces of corn came falling out. Corn. "'Oh, that poor man-'"

"I have not been saying that!" screeched his mother from embarrassment, Angel chuckled. It amazed him how much better he felt after laughing. _I've really needed it, to feel something other than guilt and remorse, even if it only lasts for a moment. _For as quickly as the feeling came, it disappeared.

"It's no problem, Beth," assured the vampire.

Matthew and Charlie began arguing about what's best to put on sandwiches. Matthew's preference is cold baked beans, while Charlie really like his corn. Both sounded awful to Angel.

"Do you have children, Angel?" asked Beth.

He debated whether or not to mention Connor, but the 'affirmative' side won. "Yes, I have a son, his name is Connor, I haven't seen him since before…it started."

Both parents nodded in understanding. "It must be very hard for you," Beth said sincerely.

"He's with people who will take care of him." He didn't add that he could take care of himself. "I'm not too worried-"

"Not too worried?" Bill was shocked, "How can you not be worried? You've seen what's happened, what's still happening out there-"

"Yes, I have. But you don't understand, he is safe." He has to be.

"But you can't be sure," added Beth. "I want you to find him, then bring him over to meet us."

Angel smiled slightly, but remained silent.

.END.


	5. Only Time Will Tell

Episode 6.5  
Only Time Will Tell  
by Karen

She huddled under her cardboard roof, waiting out the rain. It was light yet, but she couldn't afford to get wet. If she got wet, then she'd get chilled. If the got chilled, she'd get sick. And if she was sick, she couldn't help Luke. 

She pulled her knees closer to her chest, hoping the rain wouldn't last long. If it lasted too long, then she'd be temped to go out and play in it. It had been days since she'd had a shower. Twelve to be exact. Twelve days since she had been a regular kid. Well, it had been a whole lot longer than that, but…

She remembered the day like it was yesterday. She had skipped school to see Luke's graduation. It wasn't every day, after all that he graduated from kindergarten. Sister Laura was there, sitting in the front row, but she had snuck in the back, and watched, misty eyed.

Then, after school, she had met up with Dan, and he had taken her to a monster movie. Then they had gone back to his place. She had left his place at half past ten to get back by curfew, but the orphanage she had lived in for the past ten years wasn't there. There had been noises out in the street while she had been with Dan, but they'd been too busy to take notice. Car alarms going off and stuff. Nothing big. But now, what could demolish a whole building? All that was there was rubble. She had crawled her way through to the back of the building where Luke's room was, on the third floor, right next to her own room, but he wasn't there. The only thing she could find was his teddy bear. He wouldn't go anywhere without his teddy bear. He even dragged it to school with him, tucked at the very bottom of his bag.

She hugged the bear to her, now dirtier than he had ever allowed it to get, trying not to cry. Luke was all she had left. He was everything to her. She had taken care of him all these years, and now he was missing. He was somewhere, out in this messed up world that wasn't like anything she had ever seen before. Or worse…No, she couldn't think about worse.

She heard footsteps in the alley, rather close to her, and she sucked in her breath, holding it as the footsteps drew nearer. She moved farther into her refrigerator box, hoping whatever was out there would go away, and leave her alone. She had seen some messed up things these past eleven days. Things out of monster movies and stuff. She had to find Luke.

A figure stopped at the entrance to her box, and she bit her lip in fear. She saw the figure move a bit away, and she thought she was safe, but then the thing bent down and looked into the box.

Running on fear alone, she pushed on the rip in the box she had made before huddling inside, and the wet bottom ripped. She pushed out and was running before she had her balance.

"HEY! WAIT!" the figure yelled, and she heard feet pounding behind her, but she just kept on running, Luke's bear clutched to her chest. Her breathing was ragged, but she had to get away, she had to find Luke.

The pounding feet were right behind her, and she tried to put on more speed, but she hadn't eaten in a couple days, and she wasn't feeling well. The pounding was right behind her, and then something knocked her over, and she was down on the ground. She landed on her hands, and pain shot up towards her elbows, but she kicked out blindly at whatever was on top of her.

"OW!" the thing yelled, and she flung out with her arms and legs, trying to catch the thing, trying to get away. "Hey, HEY!" the figure yelled, and she found herself on her back, with the figure lying on top of her, with her arms pinned at her sides.

"Get off me!" she yelled, looking up at the boy, who couldn't be more than eighteen or nineteen, with longish hair that was soaked, and was dripping water in her face as he leaned his body weight on her, keeping her from lashing out.

"Do you promise not to run?" he asked.

"No."

"I think we can help each other out," he said, moving so he was sitting on her hips; she could move her legs, but not enough to kick out at him. He still had her arms pinned.

"I'm not that kind of girl. I may play around every once in a while, but I've got a boyfriend-"

"Not like that," he said, a hint of a smile on his face, "I've been watching you. You're looking for someone, whomever belongs to this," he leaned over and lifted up the bear from a puddle, "and I'm searching for someone, too. It's not safe to be out and about on your own."

"I'm doing just fine! I don't need your help!"

"Maybe not mine, but I know someone who can help you find your brother."

"How-"

"Like I said," he got off her, stood, holding out his hand to help her up, "I've been watching you." She took his hand warily. He sighed, "The truth is, I used to help out at the orphanage back when you and your brother were brought in. I just took a chance," he shrugged.

"I'm Jade," she said softly.

"I know."

---

"So, how are they?" Faith asked. She was sitting at the table as Angel came into the small apartment they had found.

"Good," he said absently, "Where are the two slayers?"

"They had jet lag or something," she shrugged, "They crashed on the couch." He nodded, "Is something up?"

"N-No," he said a little too quickly. She gave him a look, and he sighed, sitting down, "I guess you're going to get an explanation sooner or later. You don't remember Connor, but Darla tried to seduce me, and she became pregnant. I signed on to Wolfram and Hart to give him a normal life-"

"Because you couldn't," Faith nodded.

He nodded, "But his memories came back," he explained, "I can't help but hope he's okay."

"We'll help find him," Briana said from the doorway. Both Angel and Faith jumped.

"That's really not necessary," Angel hastened to add.

"No, you've taken us in, it's the least I can do," Briana said.

"We did not take you in, you chose to stay," Angel stressed.

"Can I help anyway?" Briana asked, "How old is your son?"

"About eighteen."

"We could go do a sweep of the city-" Briana started.

"No," Angel said a bit harsher than he had meant to, "You guys are here to help us clean up this mess, and to stay safe. You are not going to help me find my son."

"Angel," Faith started.

"No."

---

"You wanted to see me?" the blonde popped her head into the room after knocking once.

"Yeah," the red head said, sitting Indian style on the floor, her hands palm up on her knees. "How many girls did you send to LA?"

"Two. Why?"

"Well, there are three there. I can sense the other one. I can't tell if she's in danger or not, though. I don't know why I couldn't sense her before," she sounded frustrated.

"Can you take care of it?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Sure," she said, hearing the conflict in her friend's voice, "I'll leave in fifteen."

"Thanks."

---

"Where are we going?" Jade asked as she followed him down the street.

"I know this place that'll be safe for the night."

"Will you really help me find my brother?" she asked, trying to keep up, but his legs were longer than hers.

"I said I would, didn't I?" he sighed, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I just really need to find my family."

"Do you think they're safe?" she asked, fear in her voice.

"I hope so."

All of a sudden, she stopped. Her eyes went wide, and she wrapped her arms around her stomach. She gulped a few times, trying to fight the sensation building in her stomach. "No, no," she murmured. Her eyes went even wider, she clapped a hand over her mouth, and she rushed over behind an abandoned car. He stopped, wondering why the hell she had stopped until he heard the sound of her throwing up.

About two minutes later, she came back, "Sorry," she murmured, making sure she didn't have anything stuck to her face, "I haven't been feeling well for awhile."

"Do you feel well enough that we can-"

"Oh, definitely," she nodded vigorously, "Lead on."

They started off. After about a block, she asked, "So, we're looking for your family?"

"Kinda. I had…a hunch that this was going to happen, so I convinced my parents to take the girls up to the lake for the weekend. Impromptu family togetherness crap my Mom lives. But my Dad, my real Dad, is still here somewhere. I just know it."

"You're real Dad?" she asked, confused and a bit curious.

"My real Mom died when I was just a baby, I never knew her-"

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down at the ground, sad that she'd pressed him.

"Don't be. Anyway, my Dad tried raising me, but it didn't work out, so my Dad gave me to the people I call Mom and Dad. Most of the time it feels like I was born into the family I grew up with. Memories with my sisters superimposed over other memories…"

"So even though you haven't seen him in ages, you wanna make sure he's safe."

"Yeah." He was silent a moment, the he started down a side alley, "Be careful, now," he said softly, sliding along the wall. They quickly passed by another opening and along another building. They crept out into the street, and he darted into a fenced in garden area. He pressed her up against the fence with his arm, checking to make sure no one saw them, before leading her around a ruined center piece, and through a glass door that was smashed.

It was nice enough, much better than the alleys she had been sleeping in, but damage was everywhere. The upholstery on the circular couch was ruined, the desk and the two pillar is once stood between were demolished. A door to the side hung off it's hinges. A cabinet stood against one wall, but the glass doors were ripped off and shattered. Glass and plaster lay about the floor.

"It's…nice," she said at last.

"It's not the Ritz, or the Hilton, but it's nice enough. It's a roof over your head," he shrugged. "Most of the rooms upstairs are still habitable, but the stairs are tricky. I don't know exactly what happened, but it seems that the demons came through here with a score to settle. Either that, or they were in quite a rage-"

"Demons?" she asked, her eyebrows raised.

He stopped, "Yeah. That's what happened, Jade. There's been this plan to end the world that's been in the works for hundreds of years. Eleven nights ago, it went south. I don't know much more, but my father fought on the side of good."

She didn't know what to say.

"What's why, when I saw you, I wanted to help you. You're young, and pretty. You shouldn't be out there all alone, I bet you don't know how to protect yourself."

"We did two weeks of self defense in gym," she said, defending herself. What a jerk, she thought.

"But that's not enough, Jade. Until we get you out of this city, you need to be able to defend yourself against anything that comes your way," he said, now pacing. She looked at him like he was crazy. He nodded, as if convincing himself, "Throw a punch at me."

"What? No way, just because you-"

"Throw a punch at me," he said again.

"But-" Without warning, he threw a punch at her, and she ducked, without even thinking about it. She brought her leg up as if to kick him in the balls, and when he blocked it, she turned it over as she had learned in gym class, and kicked him in the head. He stumbled back, holding his ear. "Oh my God!" she cried, "I'm so, incredibly sorry!" she looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"It's nothing," he hastened to get in, "You just surprised me a bit. That was one hell of a kick. I didn't expect you to have that much power."

"I-I've never hit anyone before, well, not with the intention of hurting them. You just made me so mad, and I wasn't thinking."

"No, this isn't right. A girl your age, with your height, build and training, you couldn't pack that much power into a kick without help. You're parents weren't-"

"You have no right to even think about my parents!" she yelled at him.

"Okay, okay," he held up his hands, "But there's something different about you. I'ts physically impossible for a child of your size to-"

"What do you mean, a child like me?" she said, getting up in his face, "I may be young, but I'm not a child! I-I have been taking care of the younger kids at the orphanage since I was taken there! I changed Luke's diapers, and when Annie had a problem with bullies stealing her lunch, I took care of it! When Grace didn't want to go to kindergarten, it wasn't Sister Laura that got her to go, it was me!"

"I don't doubt it, Jade, but you're fifteen. You're what, a freshman in high school? Well, until the high school got destroyed. You haven't seen what I've seen, you have no way of knowing what I've seen."

"But you've always had that loving family, haven't you? You don't know what it's like to lose your parents, to be in the car, and watch them die!" she screamed, tears running down her face, "You don't know what it's like to know you should have died, but didn't, and to have no clue why you were spared, while the two people you loved most in the world weren't."

He tried to take her into his arms, to comfort her somehow, but she hit him in the chest again and again, trying to fight him off. "NO, NO, NO!" she screamed at him over and over again. She hadn't cried since the day it happened, no matter how many therapy sessions she had been forced to sit through. It was none of that damn therapist's business how she felt. It was her business, and hers to decide what she did with her grief.

He seemed to sense this. Though he was trying to hold her in his arms, which he had no right to do whatsoever, she had a boyfriend, it was still comforting, knowing that someone seemed to care.

---

"I'm going for a walk," he said, standing up suddenly.

"Can I-" Briana started.

"Yes," Angel said, "Sarah can come too. Faith," he turned to her, "If you're feeling up to it…" he left the sentence hanging, "I want to do some recon, see how much damage has been done, whether or not it's concentrated, or if it's spread into the suburbs. I want to get a feel for what we're dealing with."

Spike and Gunn, who had heard Angel from the other room, came in, holding a gun or two they had found under one of the beds.

"No guns, no weapons," Angel said, "we're not going out there to fight. Time will come to fight. Right now I just want to see what we're up against."

"But what if we meet something-" Sarah started to protest.

"Then you run," he said to her. "if you can't follow my instructions, then you will stay here. Got that?" he asked her, staring her down.

"Fine," she spat, averting her gaze, though she didn't seem happy about it.

"We'll split up. Sarah, you go with Gunn and Spike. Faith, Briana you're with me. We'll head north, you head south. Let's meet back here in…four hours?"

Gunn and Spike nodded, "Sounds good."

Angel was the last to leave the apartment. He watched as everyone filed out past him; Gun and Spike were already set on the task ahead, knowing that they were probably going to run into something; Sarah wouldn't meet his gaze; Briana practically skipped out the door; Faith cracked her knuckles as she followed Briana out, shaking her head at the girl's antics.

Angel had taken the north half of the city on purpose, he wanted to go by the Hyperion again and see just how much damage had been done. Maybe the hotel was salvageable, and with a little work, they could move back in, and things would almost be back to normal, even with most of the gang gone.

As they walked down the street leading to the hotel, the street was deserted, but he thought he heard someone crying. He stopped, looking over at Faith, who looked like she was listening too.

"Do you?" she asked.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"What?" Briana asked, but Angel shushed her.

"Where is it coming from?" Faith asked.

"The hotel, I think." Angel crept through the courtyard and peered in through the broken doors. He saw a petite girl that couldn't be older than sixteen, with blonde hair, crying in the arms of a familiar boy.

"What is it?" Briana whispered, standing behind him. He didn't answer her, stepping out into the open, ducking to get underneath the overhanging rubble.

Finally the fight had gone out of her, and Jade had allowed him to hug her, rubbing her back soothingly. It was odd, being comforted by a virtual stranger, even though he said he knew her. Just as she was calming down, she felt him stiffen. She pulled away, looking up at him, before turning around to see the man standing just inside the open area.

Before anyone could say anything, a red headed woman pushed through the door, past Faith and Briana; Faith let her through with a bit of shock at seeing her, and Briana smiled at seeing her. "Angel," she said, nodding to her.

"Willow," he said back, shocked.

She turned to Jade, "Hi, I'm Willow. Could I talk to you a moment, privately?" she asked, looking from Angel to Briana to Connor to Faith.

"She isn't, is she?" Briana asked, with barely contained excitement.

"Uh, sure," Jade said, wiping her tears from her cheeks. Willow put an arm around her and led her away from the others.

"Connor," Angel said, nodding to his son.

"Dad." They stood there awkwardly for a moment, before Connor reached out and hugged Angel.

"I thought I told you to leave?" Angel said, after Connor had let him go. The hug had been more than awkward, but comforting nonetheless.

"I was worried about you," Connor said, meeting his gaze.

"So, this is like, your son? Awesome! We weren't even really looking for you and we found you!" Briana said, "Unless you only gave us that crud about doing surveillance so you could go out and look for him," she said, turning to Angel.

"I had a feeling we'd find him sooner or later," Angel said to Briana, humoring her. "Connor, this is Briana and Faith, both are slayers."

"Nice to meet you, Briana," he said, then turned to Faith, "You probably don't remember me, but I'm still thankful for what you did."

"No big," Faith said.

"NO!" This came from Jade, and everyone's attention was drawn to her and Willow, "I can't leave! I have to find Luke! There is no way I'm leaving this place until I find him!"

"But it would be best if you went back with me and went through the training program," Willow said gently, no longer trying to keep her voice down.

"We can train her," Briana said, jumping in, "We're not the best fighters, but Sarah and I did learn form the best. We can train her, and help her find this Luke, and then she can go to England for more training later."

"I can help train her," Connor said, not quite sure what was going on. Though having two slayers in the same room, and mention of another girl he guessed must be a slayer, as well as Jade's strength was all starting to click in his brain, "I've known her for awhile, and as annoying as she is, she's grown on me," he gave Jade a smile, "Besides, I promised, and I'm not about to back down now."

"Thanks," Jade said softly.

"Well…" Willow thought about it a moment, "Do you promise to come to England after you find Luke?" she asked Jade.

"No-" she started.

"I don't see why Luke can't come with you, if you're so attached to him," Willow put in.

Jade deflated, "Fine. But I really don't understand what this slayer thing is."

Briana went up to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder, "Don't worry, Sarah and I have the drill down pat," she grinned.

"Yeah," Connor said, joining them as Briana led Jade out, "and with me teaching you, you'll be able to hold your own in no time."

"Is this okay with you, Angel?" Willow asked, walking up to him.

He sighed, "It's not like I have a choice. We'll take care of her, don't worry, Willow," he said, giving her a brief smile, "So, uh, how are things?"

"Buffy's fine," she said, interrupting his flustered reply, "I know that's not what you said, but it's what you meant," she looked at her watch, "Well, if you've got her, then I need to get back to headquarters. If you have any problems with any of them, don't hesitate to let us know."

"Thanks, Will."

"Oh, and if you can get anything on her, like background info, let us know, we need to start a file on her. And don't be surprised if someone calls every once and awhile, we need to keep tabs in them, make sure they're progressing as they should, keeping on the straight and narrow so to speak, now that they don't have watchers."

Angel nodded, "Okay."

"It was great seeing you again. See you around, Faith," Willow said, leaving. Angel turned to watch her go.

"Well, the numbers just keep going up. I don't see why they're trusting us with these young, impressionable girls," Faith said, moving to stand next him.

"Yeah, but we weren't around to take care of the others, Faith. And these three will be different, I know it. We've seen a lot, we know the signs. They won't go down the path you did, we won't let them."

"You can't be so sure that they won't," she countered.

He sighed, "No I can't. I guess only time will tell what happens to them."

.END.


	6. The Cursed Conscience

Episode 6.5  
The Cursed Conscience  
by Maddy

It's been four days since Jade arrived and unceremoniously became a member of Team Angel. That's what Angel is calling it anyway, the others wouldn't be too happy to hear about the name. So he was happily keeping it to himself.

Jade was…besides being a quick learner, was extremely secretive of her past. She only spoke about her brother and her life since the war began. Faith has taken to her dramatically, she watched over the young Slayer, taught her how to perfect certain moves and even slept in the same room.

The last thing isn't so impressive considering that the Slayers were in one room and Angel, Gunn, Spike and Connor were in the other room.

For the moment the Hyperion wasn't stable enough to live in. But Angel is hoping that will change, already they had cleared out the ground floor of the debris and demon and human remains. The young Slayers didn't handle the remains part too well. Sarah is still bringing up how sick it made her feel. They mostly ignore her whining. Bri, though, she did throw up. Poor kid.

Jade handled the grossness of the clean up particularly well. That accomplishment brought out her childish side; she teased Sarah and Bri for being squeamish. Jade, ever since meeting the group, has been friendly enough. But if any of them delve into her past, she puts up the walls. Angel and the others understand, but it's hard being around someone 24/7 if they don't want to talk to you.

Connor has been staying with them, Angel couldn't be happier that his son was safe. _Well, not too happy_. Connor spent much of his time training Jade, and also talking to Jade. They seem to have formed a nice friendship. _That's one good thing that has happened; at least Jade believes she has someone. We all need someone._

It was two hours after dusk. Connor and the young Slayers have gone patrolling. Angel had his reservations about letting them go out alone, but it was something that the Slayers need to do straight away: learn to defend themselves by themselves. This war is serious, they need to know that as soon as possible and understand that Angel, Spike, Gunn or Faith wasn't always going to be there to protect them. It was a hard lesson to learn and it won't be learned straight away.

Angel and Spike are vampires and the Slayers now know this startling fact. It was explained to them slowly and every few words from Gunn were: 'but he's not evil.' It made Angel feel very self-conscious. After Bri's insistent requests to see his vamp face, Angel relented. It was also Jade's first encounter with demon visage. They all couldn't stress enough that Angel and Spike were the only good vampires and all they needed to worry about with the others was how to kill them without getting killed themselves. Bri loved how the two vampires faces looked different and spent over five minutes pointing them out to everyone present.

Gunn was keeping watch outside of the building and Angel was in the room resting, or at least trying to.

Bri ran into Angel's room. "We-" she stopped for air. "Need you-" Another breath. "To come-" Another breath. "Here."

"What's wrong?" he asked sitting up.

"Nothing."

"What? Then why do you-"

"Faith said," Bri interrupted the vampire. "That you needed to come to the Hotel, something about dealing with your issues."

"Dealing with my _what_?"

Bri backed away with both her hands up. "I didn't say it, she did. Maybe this is one of your issues."

Angel shook his head, "I'd like to know what you're talking about."

"Maybe you think you don't have any issues," she said with a shrug. Bri smiled politely then walked out of his room. Angel starred at where she had been standing.

_Of course I have issues, I'm a walking issue. But what issues am I supposed to work through by going to the Hotel?_

Gunn came into the room as Angel was putting on his shoes. "So are you going?"

"To where?"

"The Hotel, Bri's out there blabbing a million miles a minute. That girl needs to cut back on whatever meds she's on. Or maybe she needs to get _on_ something."

"Gunn, she's fifteen-years-old. Isn't this what they're normally like?" asked Angel getting up and straightening his clothes.

"Jade isn't like her at all. Have you seen them together?"

"Who?" Angel's patience was running out. He had somewhere to be, or at least that's what people have been saying to him.

"The Slayers, not including Faith, they aren't getting on too well. Jade and Bri have their girly moments…but Sarah. Na ah."

Angel was disheartened by this news. He hasn't been paying much attention to the young Slayers. Aside from the odd observation and general things, he didn't know much about them.

_It makes it easier. Being separate from them and their lives, I know what the life of a Slayer is like. How painful, hard and fast it is. How quickly it will end. How violently. Getting close to them means losing them._

"That's a shame. They need each other."

"Maybe Faith can do some bonding thing with them."

Angel nodded. "I'll tell her when I get there. Do you want to come?"

Gunn shook his head, "Too many memories, man."

Angel understood, _too many memories for me, too. Maybe that's part of Faith's therapy plan._ "I'll see you when I get back. Tell Connor where I am when he gets back. Come and get me if they're not back by dawn."

"Will do." Gunn agreed, Angel opened his mouth to speak. "And I'll make sure the Slayers go to sleep. Sarah's gonna want to kill them. You've heard them at night, right? Talking and giggling for hours, it's lucky _I_ even got to sleep."

Angel chuckled. "Spare some thought for the guy with supernatural hearing."

"Faith, Spike…you still here?" asked Angel as he walked into the lobby of the destroyed Hyperion Hotel. "Hello!"

"Hey," greeted Faith coming down the stairs. The stairs leading right were intact; the ones on the left however were not. "I half thought you wouldn't come."

"Bri can be very convincing."

"Nah," Spike came into view and followed Faith down the stairs. "Bri just talks a lot, it's better to just agree and shut her up."

Faith chuckled. Angel however was starring intently at the brunette Slayer. _She seems to be having a good time, becoming whoever she wanted to be. I couldn't be more proud of her. In the years I have known her she has gone from feeling unappreciated, to being evil, to wanting revenge, getting some revenge and then wanting redemption._ Angel was determined to help her in any way he could and help her become the woman she wanted to be.

"We're gonna head back. If you're not back by dawn, I'm coming to find you." Faith said. It was now an unwritten rule: if you're not back by dawn we're coming to find you.

"No problem." He said, looking nostalgically around the lobby and surrounding areas. Faith nodded and her and Spike made their way towards the front doors. "Spike!" Angel called out to his fellow vampire. The bleached blonde stopped and turned to face Angel. "Take care of them until I get back."

"Will do, mate."

Angel walked up the stairs; he felt the memories fall onto his shoulders, his back and his heart. So much has happened within these walls, to sum them up in a few hundred words wouldn't even begin to tell the stories, the individual stories of all the people and demons that have resided in or attacked the hotel and it's occupants.

Cordelia, Fred, Wesley, Lorne… It pained him beyond words that Gunn and himself were the only survivors from the old days of running the agency and living in the hotel. All his friends were gone, dead or simply disappeared. Connor was back in his life, but Angel didn't expect his son to start calling him "Dad" and asking for advice on girls. It wouldn't happen and it definitely couldn't anymore. The war that he started by challenging the Circle of the Black Thorn wasn't going to be stopped in a matter of months, this war could possibly be fought for years and it would involve many humans. Humans that before eleven days ago had no idea demons even existed.

Even since being cursed with a soul, Angel has learned much about guilt and remorse, until Buffy came into his life – and into his heart – he also learned about redemption: that he could be redeemed for his past actions. Shanshu meant more to him than Spike, to Spike it was like a trophy after a long race, but to Angel it was so much more. The other vampire could never understand.

He pushed open the door to his old room, as the door swung open the 250 year-old vampire began to cry.

---

"Angel's back!" yelled Bri as he walked through the front door of the building. He didn't want to think of it as their home or even as _theirs_. That way of thinking lead to guilt and brooding.

"Hey," the vampire said walking past the young Slayer. Bri smiled widely and followed him into the back room. "How was patrolling?"

"Great! Connor is really good. He went to get some more food."

"Okay."

"Hey, man," greeted Gunn, Angel nodded in response. "Where's Faith and Spike?"

This surprised Angel, "They're not here?"

"No, they haven't come back from the hotel."

"They left when I got there. Faith said something about leaving me alone."

"Did it help?" asked Bri from behind. Angel turned to look at the girl, she seemed genuinely interested and Angel could tell, he was after all, a 250 year-old vampire. "Being alone, I mean. Faith and Spike were talking about your issues."

"They were."

"Well, I was eavesdropping," she said sheepishly. "It was pretty fun. Listening and not being noticed. Is that a Slayer thing?"

"I don't know, you tell me," Angel chuckled. Sarah and Jade entered the room bickering about techniques. Jade and Sarah didn't get along, their opinions about many things conflicted. Slaying was the main one.

"You only found out you were a Slayer four days ago; I refuse to take your advice about something I have been trained in for a year."

"Don't be a British snob."

"I can't change where I was born and brought up."

"Fine, don't be a snob then," Jade bit back, she glared at the older blonde with such contempt that it surprised all in the room. Except for Sarah, who gave Jade a similar look. There was something going on here.

"God, what is your problem?" said Bri, asking the question Angel wanted to ask. "We're Slayers. We're supposed to be in this together."

"And I thought we were meant to be nice," countered Jade.

"Says who?" Bri took a step towards Jade, her hands placed firmly on her hips.

"We help people don't we? I mean, that makes us nice, doesn't it?"

The room fell silent. _No, it doesn't make you nice. Nothing but you can determine who you are, having 'powers' is just that. It is not your abilities that make you a nice person._ Angel thought of using Faith as an example, but it was not up to him whether or not she wanted the younger Slayers to know of her past.

"Doesn't it?" asked Jade again, her voice getting desperate. "Doesn't it?"

"No, Jade. It doesn't."

She took that in. Angel continued talking, "Being a Slayer still means you're a person, human. It's the same with having a soul, I have one and you have one. But so does a serial killer. We are the good guys, the white hats…champions. We fight the bad guys-"

"Why do we? Why can't we just…pretend that we don't know about it anymore?"

"Because, can you honestly say that you would be able to turn your back on it? You have the strength and the skill to save lives and kill demons. What would you do if you walked past an alleyway where a demon was attacking a person? Would you keep walking or would you help, knowing that you can?" Jade didn't answer, Angel walked up to her and the young blonde looked away. "Jade, what would you do?"

She opened her mouth and made some inaudible sounds. Angel prompted her to answer. "I would help."

"That makes you a nice person," he said softly. She looked up and smiled gratefully.

"Thanks. I'm going to rest." She walked past them into the girls' room and closed the door behind her. Bri chewed the side of her mouth before quickly following. Sarah, however did not join her sister Slayers, instead she leant against the wall. Angel, a bit harshly, thought Sarah would start complaining that the wall was dirty and step away. She didn't and Angel was glad to have been proved wrong.

He starred at the door to the girls' room. He was worried about Jade, and Bri and Sarah. Something was telling him that it was Jade he had to be most worried about, though. Not because she can't defend herself, but…it couldn't out his finger on it. Maybe it was because she has suffered more emotionally then the other Slayers – excluding Faith – and she was young.

Connor entered the building carrying a few bags full of food. He greeted Angel and set the bags down on the table.

"Got any blood?"

.END.


	7. Good to be Home

Episode 6.7  
Good To Be Home  
By Karen

When they left the hotel, instead of turning left to go back to the apartment, Spike turned right. Faith stared after him a moment, before catching up to him, "Dude, you're going the wrong way."

"I know."

"Where are you going?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he asked. She sighed, running once more to catch up to his long strides. She fell into step beside him and they walked for some time in silence. "I found a nest of vampires feeding on the locals in the area," he finally explained, "Figured we didn't need to bother the Fearless Leader with this, when I all needed was a bit of back up. Decided that I'd give you the honor, rather than one of those pimply girls. They don't have the experience I want at my back."

"You want me to watch your back?" she said, skeptical.

"Not as fun as watching yours, but…" he trailed off, grinning at her suggestively.

"So, how'd you and B start working together?" she asked, ignoring his comment, "How'd you get your soul? I got the cliff note version of Angel's little escapade, and I don't think you're stupid enough to follow his example, though looks could be deceiving…"

"Tried to kill her a few times, tried to kill the Poof, ended up getting caught by this government agency, got a behavior modification chip put in my head, fell into lusty love for the Slayer, and won myself a soul for her sake," he shrugged, "My blood doesn't tend to rush in the direction of my brain," he said by way of explaining. She laughed. "I've heard quite a bit about you, though," he went on, "Not sure how much of it I believe, though."

"Like what?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he asked, then he took a look around, "Sh. We're close."

"I know how to stalk," Faith whispered, pushing in front of him, shaking her butt a little as she walked to the door. She knocked on it, looking around hurriedly for something, before taking the neck of her T-shirt and ripping it halfway to her belly button to show her black sports bra underneath. She hurriedly ripped two strips from either side of the collar to imitate the current fashion of ripped and shredded clothing.

Spike was shocked and a little tickled, figuring out her game plan within seconds of hearing the ripping fabric. He grinned, and couldn't help but comparing her to the blonde slayer; there was no way Buffy would use sex appeal to get into a building, she was just too naive to try it. But this slayer, on the other hand…he shook his head. Fight now, think later.

When the door opened, she leaned against the doorframe, "I heard it was someone's birthday," she said in a slightly husky voice, looking up at the guy through her lashes, taking a moment to look him up and down, before smiling at him knowingly.

The guy looked her up and down, in her ripped t-shirt and her skintight black jeans that barely covered her hips, and grinned. Then he noticed Spike, "Who's he?"

"My boyfriend. He just likes to watch," she said suggestively, pushing her way past him. Spike followed.

"Who was it?" one guy called.

"Some chick. She said she heard it was somebody's birthday," the guy snickered from behind her.

"Birthday? Opps, I meant Death-day," Faith giggled into her hand, cocking her head to one side like a stupid broad they obviously thought she was. The group of six or seven vampires started to laugh.

"The only death that's gonna happen today is yours," one guy said.

"I don't think so," Faith said, sidling up to him, pulling out a stake. Once she was in reach, she rammed the stake home, and the guy dusted.

"What the hell!" some of the others cried.

Faith grinned at them innocently as she spun around and staked a vampire that was charging her. Then it was a free for all, most of the vampires attacking Faith, while one went after Spike. They were making quick work of the vampires when the door was kicked open, and a whole bunch of guys dressed in black stormed in.

The fight stopped when the door burst open, and Spike looked up with recognition, "Bullocks, not-" two guys shot at Faith and Spike as the rest took care of the vampires, and the world went dark.

---

Angel sat at the kitchen table, trying to read a book he had picked up somewhere, but at every noise he looked at the apartment door. Who knew he'd be worried about Spike and Faith? Boy, he thought, what a couple those two would make…

Gunn came in at around two am, and shook his head at the vampire, "You haven't slept in days. I'll wait up for them. And wake you when they get in," he said in a rush to cut off Angel's intended words.

Angel sighed, nodding, before heading towards one of the bedrooms.

"What's going on?" Jade asked Gunn as he sat at the table.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked.

"Nah, my stomach's all queasy. Thought maybe some warm milk might help."

Gunn nodded, "Faith and Spike haven't come back yet," he answered her question.

"Shouldn't we go look for them or something? Maybe they're in trouble," Jade said nervously. She had only known them for a couple days, but she liked Faith; she wasn't sure about Spike. He made her stomach hurt, but then so did Angel. She didn't know if it was a so-called slayer thing, or if it was just her. She hadn't asked the others mostly because she didn't think Briana would know, and Sarah was aloof with her, always looking down on her like she was inferior.

"Nah, we'll give them till dawn before we call in the cavalry. Don't worry, they'll show up eventually. Go on back to bed." She nodded and left the kitchen without her warm milk.

---

When the tranquilizer wore off, Spike and Faith found themselves in a large white room, with one wall made out of glass. On the other side of the glass, they could see people working.

"What the fu-" Faith started, but Spike interrupted her.

"Bloody government. I should have known they'd be here."

"What?" But Spike didn't have a chance to explain as a sandy-haired man walked up to the glass and hit the intercom button.

"Spike. I wish it was pleasant to see you again."

"Same here."

"Hey, I know you," Faith said, drawing the guy's attention from Spike, "You're that boy toy B was dating. You probably wouldn't recognize me though, I wasn't exactly myself," she said, grinning slightly at the memory, before remembering she was trying to reform. Of course, that memory brought back the conversation with Spike in Buffy's body, and all of a sudden she was torn in hoping that Spike didn't know that was her, and yet she wanted him to know…

"What are you doing here?" Spike asked Riley, ignoring Faith's sidetracking revelation, glaring at Riley through the glass. His question brought Riley's questioning gaze from Faith to Spike, but with the shifting of the gaze, it turned hard and cold.

"Cleaning up the mess, what do you think? Do you know the manpower going into covering this up? There's no way the habitants are going to believe this was a gang on PCP or the excuses that have been used in the past. And I'm almost certain that you and your new girlfriend have something to do with this."

Faith snorted, "Then we're on the same side. Let us out," Faith said, glaring at him.

"Who is she?" Riley asked Spike.

"I'm a slayer, now let me out before I break out," she threatened.

"This glass is the strongest glass known to man kind, it can stop an SUV going up to 50 miles per hour with minimal cracking," Riley told her idly.

"What the hell do you want?" Faith asked, trying not to lose her temper.

"Either your cooperation, or the knowledge that you will no longer interfere with our operations."

"We didn't know that that nest was one of your 'operations'!" Faith exploded. "We were simply doing a civil service." She didn't mention their guilt in all of the things that had been going on in the past few weeks.

"Like I believe that," Riley said, cutting his eyes to Spike, "Soul or not, I don't see you doing anything for the good of mankind, 'Doctor,'" Riley said sarcastically.

"Everyone makes mistakes in their youth," Spike said, leaning against the glass, staring at Faith rather than Riley as an intentional slight. "I think even you aren't immune to youthfulness, or do I have to remind you of the reason why you and the Slayer broke up?"

"Maybe she just didn't compare to me," Faith said, trying to hide her irritation at being kept against her will. Riley looked at her strangely once more, and Faith laughed on the inside, he still didn't know who she was! "Dawn!" she cried suddenly, pounding her fist against her forehead, and both Riley and Spike looked at her, worried, both obviously thinking about the younger Summers girl, "We're supposed to be back before dawn," Faith reminded Spike. "If we're not A-"

Spike interrupted her, "Yeah, or Charlie will flip," Spike gave her a look, and Faith realized that he didn't want Riley knowing about Angel. Faith also realized that there might be some issues there, since Riley had dated Buffy, and she mentally cringed, feeling sorry for Riley.

"How about this, you keep us in the loop, and we'll decide when we want to participate?" Faith said, trying to get out of lock up. "And that way, we'll know which operations we want to interrupt," she said, giving him a half smile.

"Not good enough. Either we have your full participation, or we need your word that you will not interfere."

"Look, Mister," Faith said, narrowing her eyes, "We've got some unfinished business in town, some payback that needs to be liberally distributed. We're no one's lap dogs, a-a mercenary you can call in when the need suits you. Either you take the occasional help we can offer, or get the hell out of our faces," Faith said.

After a moment Riley pushed another button and the door slid open. Faith and Spike walked out. Faith grabbed the pen out of Riley's shirt pocket and his hand, writing something on the back of his hand, "That's my number, business only." she told him, before tossing the pen at him and stalking off to find the exit. Spike smirked and followed her.

Once they were outside and a ways away from the building, Faith stripped off her ripped shirt, tossing it aside, walking down the street in just her black sports bra. Spike looked at her out of the corner of his eye, thinking that she looked rather sexy in her skintight pants and bra, with her toned midriff bared for the world to see.

Looking at her reminded of his surprise when she had pulled out the stake back at the house, "Where did you get that stake, anyway?" he asked her as they walked towards the general direction of the hotel and the apartment. "It's not like you've got any place to hide it."

"You mean this stake?" she asked, twirling it around in her fingers, smiling at him, "Your pocket. I wasn't exactly prepared to go off fighting vampires when I decided to leave Angel alone at the hotel."

"Ah," Spike said, quickening his pace. He was surprised, he had never even felt her picking his pocket.

"What's your rush?"

"Dawn. It's about half an hour away, and I'm not sure where the hell we are." She nodded, as they both broke stride into a quick jog, heading towards the center of the city.

---

"They're not back yet." It wasn't a question, and Gunn just nodded his head. "Go wake the girls," Angel told him.

"No need," Briana said, coming into the kitchen, "We were worried, and we couldn't sleep."

"Speak for yourself," Sarah muttered.

"Okay, Sarah, you stay here in case they come back. Jade and Briana go with Connor and search the south side. Gunn, you and I will search the north side." Just then the door opened, and Faith and Spike came in, Faith breathing a bit heavier than usual. "Where have you been?" he barked at them

"Ran into a bit of trouble, but nothing we couldn't handle, right?" Spike said, bumping Faith with his shoulder.

"Where's your shirt?" Angel asked Faith.

Faith looked down, as if she had forgotten, "That went with the trouble." She looked around at everyone's weary faces, "I'm beat. How about we all get some rest, and we'll explain at a more reasonable time?" She didn't wait for an answer, however, as she headed towards the room she shared with the slayers. Briana, Jade and Sarah followed her. As they went into the room, they heard Faith say, "If you so much as make a peep, I'm hogtying you, girl," before the door was closed.

Six hours later, Angel found Faith in the kitchen, cooking a grilled cheese sandwich for herself. Within a half hour, everyone else had trickled in, and Faith and Spike started telling what had happened to them. Angel watched the two banter and play off each other's words, and how they interrupted each other almost seamlessly.

After they had finished their story, and he had calmed down from the knowledge that Buffy's ex was in LA, Angel told them the idea that had been bombarding his brain ever since Jade and Connor had joined their group. They all seemed to agree that it was a good idea, and Angel asked Faith to help him out while everyone else caught up on sleep, knowing the slayer would agree. They took the tunnels, since they had only settled on an apartment building with sewer access, when Angel started the conversation with the question, "So, what do you think of Spike?"

Faith laughed, "That's a loaded question that could go in so many directions…"

"I mean, did he back you up before the commandos showed up?"

"We already went through that," Faith said, averting her gaze, "I think so. Everything happened pretty quickly, but yeah, he held his own. Why?"

"No reason," Angel said, then a minute later her asked, "So, do you like him?"

Faith laughed, "You're really bad at this prying thing, you know that, right?" She looked at him, and he was looking at her, "I don't know," she said once she was certain Angel wasn't going to give this up, "He's a nice guy and all, but I've learned all I need to know about this love crap from you and B. Heartache and misery. Not sure I want to go down that path."

"But it's not-" she looked at him, "Okay, so most of the time it is, but-"

"In the past, I would pull a one night stand, he's hot enough for at least that, and I've never slept with the undead before," she said, "all this fighting and slaying and stress is seriously getting to me, and it's not like I got any before this mess started. But…"

"But what?" he asked.

"I'm not so sure one night would be enough," she said softly. Angel didn't say anything, allowing her to think as he led the way up the ladder into the old hotel.

Within a week or so of almost round the clock work, the Hyperion was livable again. They moved in twenty-eight days after the battle in the alley behind the hotel. Angel offered a room to the Morris family, but they had declined. As requested, Angel had taken Connor over to meet them, and Briana as well, and though they were all on good terms with the family, they were thinking about leaving the city. Angel had encouraged them, and was almost relieved they hadn't wanted a room at the hotel, because he knew it would soon be demon central once they got organized, and he didn't want the family to know what he was, what he did.

Angel had stayed up almost two nights thinking about which rooms each of the team would like most. Finally, he put them in groups of two rooms with adjoining doors that could always be kept locked, and for some pairs, he hoped they would. Briana and Sarah he put closest to the stairs, knowing that the two, though they didn't get along very well, had history, even if it was only a year's worth. Across the hall he put Jade and Connor, since the girl seemed to be infatuated with his son, and Connor seemed to like looking out for the girl in a brotherly sort of way. Angel hoped that was all the feelings Connor would have for the girl. A couple rooms down from Sarah and Briana, Angel decided to put Faith and Spike, since they seemed to be spending a lot of time together, and though he knew the problems that might occur if a relationship occurred, he wanted Faith to be happy, and Spike if he had to be. Across from Faith and Spike's rooms, he put himself and Gunn, the only two left from the original Angel Investigations team.

On the day Angel gave out room assignments, he told them, "This should be our permanent home from now on, barring any unforeseen problems. It's not much now, there are still things to be fixed up, and things to buy, but your room is yours. You can do anything to it, barring any major remodeling. Plumbing should be working within a day, the water and electric bill has been paid."

The three girls rushed off to check out their rooms, already talking about changes they wanted to make without even seeing the room.

"I guess I should go find out what dump Peaches stuck me with," Spike said. Faith laughed and walked away with him.

"Are you sure you two are okay with this?" Angel asked in a low voice, looking from Connor to Gunn. "I know that sometimes memories can be overpowering…"

"It's fine, Dad," Connor said, "at least there's more room, more bathrooms, and no one has to sleep on the couch or floor."

Gunn agreed, "The place is a sight for sore eyes. It'll be fine."

Angel nodded, and the three of them stood there a moment, whether trying to remember, or fighting away memories the old hotel brought, none were sure. But it did mark a turning point in the war. They were no longer refugees, eating stolen food and living in an abandoned apartment. This would be home for all of them, not to mention a base of operations.

It was good to be home.

---

As Spike was looking around the room that would be his, a knock came at the locked door across from his bathroom. He opened it to find Faith standing here. "Pretty nifty, huh?" she asked, walking into the room.

"Yeah. And this door could come in handy," Spike said with feigned disinterest.

"There's, ah, something I wanted to tell you, something that's been bothering me for awhile, and I wanted to get it off my chest," Faith said.

"Not like I could stop you," Spike said, more interested than he liked.

"You know that time in, oh, February of 2000, when you met Buffy at the Bronze?" she started, not looking at him, "when she said that stuff about being able to have anything and one she wanted? That wasn't B. That was me."

"It didn't look like you," Spike said, his voice void of emotion.

Faith sighed, having to bear more of her soul, "Mayor Wilkins left me a gift that switched B and my bodies. When she said those things, about riding you and warm champagne, that was me in her body. I'm really sorry if it caused any problems for you," she said softly.

"Why, pet?" he asked, "Why are you telling me this? Don't tell me you're feeling guilty after all these years."

"I don't know," she said, "with everything that's happened, I'm trying to be a better person, and I'm really confused right now, and I just wanted to tell you I was sorry, since you seem nice as far as vampires go, and-"

He brushed his lips against hers, and she stopped mid-sentence. He pulled her to him and kissed her soundly for a moment, before letting her go, "I knew it was you all along, pet. The Slayer explained it to me after I confronted her about it. And just because you're sorry better not mean you didn't mean what you said. I was kinda waiting for the right moment to feel those muscles you were talking about," he said, his voice a low growl, before he turned away from her and left his room.

She stood there a moment, staring after him, before going into her room and closing the adjoining door. She stood staring at the door a moment, undecided about whether to lock it or not, before she turned and left it as it was.

All in all, things were going to get much more complicated before things settled out.

.END.


	8. Loss of Innocence

Episode 6.8  
Loss of Innocence  
by Karen

Author's Notes: The song is "I Miss My Friend" by Darryl Worley.

"Faith," Angel beckoned her when she entered the kitchen late one morning a few days after they moved back into the hotel. She had been leaving for patrol each day before sunset, and not getting back until dawn, trying to stay away from Spike and the confusion he brought.

"What?" she asked, going over to him and where he was scrambling some eggs.

"Could you go check on Jade for me? She came down about an hour ago, but then she turned pale and ran out of the room, and I haven't seen her since."

"Do you think she's sick?" Faith asked, going to the fridge and getting an apple.

"I don't know. She…"

"What?" Faith asked, looking at him, biting into her apple.

He sighed, "She just feels off to me, something I can't quite put my fingers on, but there's something there, under the skin that I can't pinpoint."

"You're worried about her," Faith accused.

"She's apart of this team, and it's my job to worry about the team, so yes, I am worried about her."

"You worry too much," Faith said over her shoulder as she left the kitchen. She went up the stairs two at a time, and stopped outside Jade's closed door, knocking softly. She waited a moment, but there was no answer. "Jade?" she called through the door, knocking once more. There still was no answer, so she tried to knob, which twisted easily in her hand. She pushed to door open a fraction, "Jade? Are you there? It's Faith." There was no answer, so she pushed to door open, and stepped inside. She closed the door softly behind her, traveling to the center of the room. Jade was nowhere to be found. The bed was made, and all of the windows were closed, so she hadn't run off, at least from the look of the room.

The noise of someone being sick came through the partially open bathroom door, and Faith started forward, pushing the door open as she asked, "Jade?"

The girl was on her knees in front of the toilet, being violently sick. Faith stared a moment, before grabbing a washcloth from the rack and wet it in the sink, before kneeling beside Jade, pulling her blonde hair from her face and wiping the washcloth against the girl's forehead. Instinctively she rubbed the girl's back, not shirking away from her as she heaved into the bowl.

After a few moments, Jade pushed herself away from the bowl, and Faith gave her space. "Thanks," Jade said roughly.

"No problem," Faith said, going to the sink and getting a cup of water so Jade could rinse her mouth, "How are you feeling?"

"Better, for now. It'll come back, it always does."

"How long have you felt like this?" Faith asked. She had the strange urge to check the girl's forehead for a fever, but she suppressed the urge. She wasn't this girl's mother, she was a friend, if that.

"A couple days now. A few days before we moved here," she lied, knowing she hadn't felt good since she had first joined the group, but it had definitely gotten worse. "It goes away and comes back, it's nothing big."

"Puking your guts out is a big deal," Faith said. "Can you think of any reason why you've been sick?"

She shook her head, "I feel much better now. I was planning on going out and looking for Luke today."

"No way, you should stay in bed," Faith argued.

"No way. I feel fine now. I need to find Luke before something happens to him."

"I'm sure he's fine."

"Have you ever cared about someone?" Jade asked suddenly, "Cared about someone so much that it hurt to see them in pain? All you wanted was for them to be happy, even though you couldn't provide what it took to make them happy?"

Faith nodded, thinking about her past, "Yeah."

"Well, Luke is like that. I'm the only one he has to keep him safe, protect him, make sure he doesn't get into trouble. No one else cares about him except me. I have to find him." She glared at Faith a moment, before leaving the room.

"Need any help?" Faith asked as she fell in beside Jade as they walked towards the stairs.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

An hour later they were walking along the street, heading towards the orphanage Jade and her brother had called home for the past ten years. Faith whistled when she saw the damage done to the building. As they had canvassed the city, they had found that the majority of the buildings had escaped the brunt of whatever had happened that night, but this building had been demolished. They had found a few buildings that had the same or more damage done to them, but those had been businesses, magic shops or other such fronts. They had figured out that the damage was done systematically; the demons had been searching for something. But why would they destroy an orphanage? What could they possibly want with a bunch of parentless kids? The other question was, had they found it?

They searched through the wreckage, and they found about fifteen small bodies, of which Jade cried over every single one, and Faith had to stop herself from crying at the thought of all the potential lost, all the lives lost so heinously. As Jade carried the most recently found body from the wreckage, a girl that looked to be no older than three, Faith looked over the assembly, and realized they couldn't leave them there.

"I'll be right back," Faith said as Jade set the tiny girl down on the ground, bending over the child, her shoulders shaking.

"I need your help," Faith said once she was about fifteen feet away from Jade, and someone had answered her call.

"How'd you get this number?" the voice asked.

"Lucky guess," she shrugged, knowing he couldn't see her. "Are you going to help me or not?" she said.

She heard a sigh, "One condition."

"I'm listening."

Twenty minutes later, two trucks slowed about twenty feet from the orphanage. When she looked up, Faith saw the pine boxes each truck was loaded down with, all no larger than four feet long.

Faith climbed over the rubble and met Riley as he and the men he brought disembarked. "Thanks," she said at last, as she felt a slight burden lifted from her shoulders.

"This isn't charity," Riley said. "We've got government permission to bury bodies in Griffith Park, off of Vista Del Valle Drive. I've got three men out there now digging graves."

She nodded, "So far there are fifteen-"

"NO!" the scream pierced the air, and everyone turned to look as a wordless scream echoed through the air, punctuated by sobs.

Faith took off over the rubble, using her agility to make it to the girl as fast as she possibly could. She heard someone behind her, much clumsier than she was, put she put the smugness out of her mind when she saw Jade rocking back and forth, a boy clutched to her chest. The wail slowly died out as Jade started singing to her brother, her voice hoarse, broken by sobs.

_"…I miss my friend._

_The one my heart and soul  
Confided in,  
The one I felt the safest with,  
The one who knew just what to say...  
To make me laugh again,  
And let the light back in...  
I miss my friend..._

_I miss the colors,  
That you brought into my life.  
Your golden smile...  
Those blue-green eyes.  
And I miss your gentle voice,  
In lonely times like now,  
Sayin' "It'll be alright."  
I miss my friend."_

As she sang in a soft, clear voice, she ran her fingers through her brother's hair, ran her fingers over his cheeks, wiping away the tears that had fallen on his face.

"Jade, Jade," Faith said, wrapping the girl in her arms.

"Get away form me!" she yelled at Faith. "I-I changed his diapers! I comforted him after he had a bad dream! I let him follow me around when he didn't have any friends. I was his mother, his sister, his best friend!" she yelled. "He was my life!" she sobbed, clutching her brother.

"Jade, you can't save him now," Faith said quietly, trying to block the girl from Riley's gaze, not trusting him with this type of thing. She didn't even trust herself.

"Get away from me!" she yelled.

"Jade, there's nothing you can do for him now, but go on with your life. That's what he would want you to do!" Faith said, trying to get through to the girl.

The girl continued sobbing for a long, long time, before she quieted, at which time Faith was able to pry her hands off the body and pick her up, carrying her out of the rubble and into one of the trucks. Finally the work got started, and the guys Riley had brought with him started systematically clearing the rubble and taking it apart as Faith sat with Jade in the car, her heart sore for the girl who had lost the last of her family.

Riley got into the driver's side of the vehicle, "I'll drive you home," he said, and she nodded. Before she knew it, he pulled up in front of the old hotel-though she hadn't given him an address- and she was helping Jade out. "I'll be in touch," Riley said, before driving off.

Angel and Spike were in the main entranceway when they entered, but Faith just shook her head at them as she led Jade up to her room. Once the girl was settled, Faith knew it was time to face the music, so she headed back down to the lobby, knowing both Angel and Spike would be there.

"What's going on?" Angel and Spike asked at once. They glared at each other, and then Spike continued, "You smell like Army Boy."

Faith raised her eyebrows, to show that the comment was not accepted well, "Jade wanted help finding her brother, so we went back to the orphanage, and we found him." Her tone of voice made it clear. "I called Riley because we couldn't take care of it ourselves. We had found fifteen bodies before I called them, and we left before any more were found, who knows how many children met their end in that orphanage," she said, swallowing back her tears, "Who knows how many lives were lost? How many destinies won't be completed because of what we did?" She shook her head, "I've got to go," she turned and headed towards her room at a fast clip.

Angel and Spike glared at each other, before Spike took off after Faith. She was already in her room when he got there, and when he knocked she told him in no uncertain terms to leave her alone.

"Faith," he said, leaning against the door, "I just want to talk to you," he told her.

"Go away!" he heard something in her voice that concerned him, so he twisted the knob on her door and let himself in. "I-I said go away!" Faith yelled at him, turning away from him, but not in time for him to not see the tears running down her face.

"Faith," he said, approaching her.

"I'm warning you, leave me alone, o-or I'll-"

"You're in no condition to be making threats," he told her. Hew pulled her to him, and though she fought him, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. "It's okay to cry, Faith. It's okay to feel emotions."

"No it's not. I-I'm the slayer, I'm supposed to be strong."

"Do you think that Buffy hasn't cried before?" he asked.

"No," she said quietly, "This isn't a comparison between B and I, Spike, I know you slept with her."

"That's not what this is about, this is about you feeling grief over people you don't know. And that's okay. It's okay to cry."

"Easy for you to say!" she exploded at him, pushing him away from her, "You're not the one that cries herself to sleep every night! You're not the one that has nightmares about those girls that came to help us, and ended up dead! You're not the one that worries about the slayers here, Sarah, and Briana and Jade, you don't worry constantly about their safety! About whether or not they're going to make it to see tomorrow!"

"You're wrong, luv, I may not cry myself to sleep, but that's because I don't sleep for fear of the nightmares. Guilt and grief each hit each one of us a bit differently, but that doesn't mean we don't feel it."

"I-I'm sorry Spike, it's just…" she shook her head, the tears coming again, "How can we fool ourselves we're doing good if so many innocent lives have been lost?" she asked. This time, when he took her into his arms, she didn't fight it. He held her while she cried.

---

It was two days after they had cleared the wreckage of the orphanage. Faith, Jade, Connor, and Riley stood beside the open grave as a preacher read a passage from the bible. Once he was done, Jade placed a rose on her brother's casket, and watched as it was lowered into the ground. Faith had tried to talk her into not staying but she wouldn't be deterred.

As she stood by her brother's grave, Faith and Connor discretely left, and Riley followed. He pulled Faith back, and she looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy. "We have a deal," he told her.

"I haven't forgotten."

"You'd better not."

.END.


	9. Today's Gift

Episode 6.9  
Today's Gift  
by Maddy

_"Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present"_ – Bill Keane.

**May** **2003**.

_The phone was ringing, but Sarah knew not to answer it._ That's what servants are for. _The phone was answered almost straight away; Sarah couldn't hear the conversation, except for a few muffled sounds of Lillianne talking to the person on the other end._

_Sarah refocused her attention on the book in her hands: Jane Austin's_ Emma. _It wasn't her personal favourite Austin book, but she read it at least once a year. Sarah had a passion for literature._

_"Miss Roberts!" called Lillianne. Sarah put her book down on the table next to her, left the antique armchair and walked out of the downstairs study. "Could you get your mother?"_

_"Sure." Sarah checked the grandfather clock in the hallway. At this time of day her mother would be in her office upstairs working very hard on rebuilding the Watcher's Council._

_Her mother was one of the Watchers who survived the attack from the First due to not having a potential of her own. Elizabeth Roberts was in her early forties, extremely wealthy thanks to her first husband, Sarah's father, and a workaholic._

_Sarah knocked on the door to her mother's office. "Come in." called Elizabeth, Sarah turned the doorknob and entered the room. The curtains were drawn; this troubled the teenager._ It's the middle of the day for crying out loud!

_"Sarah, what is it?"_

_"There is someone on the phone for you." Sarah nodded towards the extension on her desk. "I don't know who it is."_

_"Very well, I could use a break."_

_Sarah nodded again and left the room as quickly as she came._ A break? A phone call isn't a break, having a relaxing cup of tea in the conservatory is a break. _Her mother had long forgotten what a break was. Ever since Sarah's father died four years ago, Elizabeth had become even more engrossed in the Watcher's Council daily operations. She lobbied hard to have her own potential Slayer and when Daniella was charged in her care, Sarah hoped that the obsession would reside. It didn't._

_Daniella died in a car accident a year ago with her mother and father in the car. They all died. A school friend of Sarah's said at the time:_ "That's the best way to go; with your family. That's how I would want to die, at least you wouldn't be left behind."

_Sarah couldn't disagree more. Her stepfather was a Lord, he spent most of his time in London doing whatever is it Lords do. Her mother was distant, unloving and cold. Sarah didn't want to die like one big happy family. She didn't have one._

_Sarah went back to the study and resumed her reading. Ten minutes later her mother walked into the room, with a look of sheer pride._

_"What is it?"_

_"Four days ago, the Slayer and her friends saved the world. They cast a spell that has rewritten Slayer history forever. From now on every girl in the world who could be a Slayer will be a Slayer. Every potential is now a Slayer…there are no potentials anymore. Just hundreds, maybe thousands of Slayers." Elizabeth stopped talking for a moment; Sarah was surprised at how emotional her mother was behaving._

_"I'm happy for you, this means you will have a-"_

_"Four days ago, you broke the French doors in the dining room."_

_"I know, I already said I was sorry and I offered to pay for the repairs, but you-"_

_"You're a Slayer." Elizabeth smiled at her daughter for the first time in years. It made Sarah's stomach turn._

_"I'm a what?"_

---

**July** **2004**

"I'm a Slayer. I know what I'm doing!" Briana snapped at Sarah. _So am I_,Sarah thought. "I don't need you following me around."

"Angel said you and I have to stick together."

"I know; I was there for the 'we need to build trust' speech. It was boring. He repeats himself sometimes and have you noticed how similar his speeches are to Buffy's? Big with the melodrama."

"They're heroes. It's what they do."

"Since when did you become an expert on heroes?"

"Since I met some." Sarah slowed as they reached the corner of the apartment building the Morris family occupied. Angel was inside saying goodbye because the Morris' were finally getting out of LA. Sarah wished she could join them.

Before Sarah became a Slayer, she dreamed of going to America and visiting Los Angeles and New York. When she arrived with her Watcher two days after the war began, she instantly regretted that dream. Los Angeles was but a shell of its former self.

"I wonder why Faith and Spike don't give those type of speeches?"

"Because they don't give _any_ speeches." Sarah answered. "Now, be quiet."

"Right. Sorry."

Angel had entrusted the young Slayers with the job of helping him escort the Morris family to the city limits. Sarah was very pleased to have this job. Jade was with Connor and Gunn patrolling the area surrounding the Hyperion Hotel. Spike and Faith were patrolling the industrial section.

Sarah wondered if the others suspected that the relationship between the bleached vampire and the brunette Slayer might not be platonic.

Once Sarah reached the corner, she stopped and peered around the building and looked down the alleyway. It was covered in complete darkness.

"Do you see anything?"

"Shh."

"Right. Sorry."

"You said that before," Sarah reminded the fifteen year old. "No, I don't see anything. It's dark."

"That doesn't mean there's nothing there."

"Precisely."

"Okay." Bri attempted to walk past Sarah, but she grabbed her by the arm. "Let me go."

"Angel said we had to stop here. We're just meant to patrol the front side. No exploring, it is dangerous, you know."

"I know. I have eyes that are working."

"So do I. Do you want to know what I see?"

"No, not really," Briana said under her breath. Sarah heard, but decided to ignore it.

"I see a dark alleyway. Alleys are notorious for being the place for many vampire attacks. Why do you want to go into the dark, and possibly demon infested, alleyway?"

"Because I'm a Slayer."

"No, because you're crazy."

"I am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are – I'm acting like a child," Sarah chided herself.

"You are one."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Be quiet. You're going to get us killed. That's a great plan."

"We won't die. With Angel around nothing will happen to us."

"You have got to be joking! Angel, Gunn and Spike are the only survivors. Everyone else has died. Angel was around and they still died. He won't be able to protect us. We have to protect ourselves."

"I think the melodrama is contagious."

"I'm not a hero."

"I never said you were."

Sarah sighed; she wanted to be a hero. Too many people expected so much from her. It wasn't fair, but it was all she knew.

"Okay, let's go down the alleyway."

Bri smiled brightly and took the lead._ I have a bad feeling about this_.

---

_"You're a Slayer." Her mother repeated._

_"I can't be. You had the Council do those tests on me years ago, I wasn't recognized as a Slayer."_ And it broke your heart.

_"Well, the tests were wrong. You are a Slayer whether you like it or not. You're a warrior now. A hero. A Slayer."_

_"This doesn't make any sense."_

_"I told you about the spell. You're a Slayer now, what's there not to understand?"_

_She knew how it happened to her, but she didn't understand why. Sarah was ultimately a nobody; she had no ties to the supernatural world except through her mother. And her mother was no one special either. Sarah's grandfather was a Watcher and her great-grandfather was the Head of the Watchers Council. But no one special. No powers or fighting abilities._

_She couldn't be a Slayer. She didn't want to be._

_"I don't care," Sarah voiced her opinion._

_"I do. Rupert Giles was the one who called, you remember him don't you?"_

_Sarah nodded. Mister Giles visited them often before he was needed in Sunnydale. Sarah liked him very much and missed talking to him about English literature. Her mother only ever wanted to talk about demons, Slayers or the Council._

_"He wanted to come here personally to give us the good news."_

Is it? How can fighting demons that want to kill you be a good thing?

_"Oh, okay."_

_"Do speak properly, Sarah," Her mother scolded. "Just because you're a supernatural being doesn't mean you are better than anybody else."_

_"I never said I was," she said angry with her mother for…everything. For being her mother, for being distant, for being obsessed with the Council and for being happy that her only child will die an early death._

_"But you were thinking it."_

_"No, I wasn't."_

_"It's going to your head already. You never argue."_

_"I need to rest." Sarah pushed past her mother._

_"Don't be too long, a representative from the Council will be here within the hour."_

_Sarah frowned and turned to face her mother. "Why?"_

_"You're going to move to Rome. The training facility is being set up there as we speak. You will be trained by Buffy Summers herself."_

_"What? Rome. Today. I can't go, I have friends here and Andrew's here and I have school. Why are you sending me away?"_

_"Because you are a Slayer. You don't know what this means to me-"_

_"No, I think I do." Sarah's face contorted in anger. "You're happy. You will be remembered, forever, as being the mother of a Slayer. You're proud."_

_"Yes, I am."_

_"But not of me. You're proud of yourself. I am not a product of you."_

_"You are my daughter."_

_"Melissa's mother treats me more like a daughter than you. I don't know you. Maybe I never did."_

_Elizabeth Roberts never looked more terrifying. Sarah did her best to not look afraid._

_"I am your mother and you will not speak to me in that manner," she said calmly. "Now," Elizabeth Roberts took a few steps towards her daughter. "You will go to your room and pack your things. I'm not sure how long you will be staying in Rome. But if need be, I will have money sent to you."_

_"But-"_

_"This is not a discussion. Go. Now."_

---

The alleyway was dark before they entered it. Sarah thought it was even darker now they were in it. _Bloody Bri, why am I listening to her?_

The ground crunched beneath Sarah's shoes. She tried her hardest not to make any noises, but it was difficult. _I'm going to kill Bri. That is unless something kills me first_.

Bri didn't seem to mind walking blindly into a dark alleyway. She kept her guard up as instinct would dictate, but obviously Sarah and Bri's instincts were saying different things about the alleyway. _The dark and possibly demon infested alleyway_.

"We should go back," whispered Sarah. Briana stopped suddenly and Sarah nearly ran into her.

"Are you afraid?" asked Briana turning to face the older girl.

"No. But we aren't very prepared. All we have is a stake each."

"Yes, it's what we use to kill vamps. Get with the program."

"How do you know there are any vampires down here?"

"Can't you feel them?"

"Feel them? What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

Sarah couldn't see Briana's face, but the silence said it all. _I don't feel the vampires when they're around. Does Bri, or is she just tricking me? What does it mean because I don't?_

"What are you two doing here?" asked Angel stepping from the shadows. "I thought I told you to stay at the front of the building."

_Oh, bloody hell._

_---_

_Sarah Roberts was only seventeen years old when she became the Slayer. She knew that many Slayers were younger than that when they were called, but she didn't care about other Slayers. She cared about herself._

_She pushed open the door to her room, tears streaming down her young face._ Young. Am I still young? Does being a Slayer make me automatically older? Not older in years, but just…older? _She didn't want to be older._

_On her nightstand sat among other things, a photograph of herself and Andrew. He was her boyfriend. Andrew was only four months older than Sarah, she didn't know if she loved him. She wasn't sure what love felt like. But Andrew was a wonderful person, he was kind, decent, caring…loving. He made her laugh and when he kissed her; she didn't want to be anywhere else in the entire world._

Maybe I do love him.

_The photo was of them sitting on a bench at school, his arm was slung over her shoulders. Both were smiling broadly._ It was only taken last month, look how much as changed in the past five minutes. Imagine what will happen if I go to Rome for months on end. What will happen to us? Will Andrew and I be able to survive this?

_The tears continued to flow while she packed. Her clothes, CD's, books, movies and toiletries went into the two suitcases she kept in her wardrobe. Not everything could be taken; she wanted to take it all. No, that wasn't right. She wished she didn't have to go in the first place._

_An hour later, there was a knock on the door. Sarah starred at her full suitcases._ Would they let me say goodbye to my friends? She wondered. No, probably not.

_"Miss Roberts." Said Lillianne as she knocked on the door to Sarah's room._

_"Come in."_

_"Oh, Miss Sarah." Lillianne rushed at the young girl and hugged her fiercely. "Don't worry, you'll come back to us."_

_"Will I?" Sarah asked as her held the servant close to her body. "Slayers die all the time. Now that there's hundreds, maybe they'll die everyday."_

_"I don't believe that. You're not meant to die. It's not your destiny."_

_Sarah stiffened and pulled away. "You don't know my destiny. I don't even know it."_

_"You'll be a hero." Lillianne said softly as she reached out and touched Sarah's face. "You won't die. You're going to save people, maybe even the world one day. Imagine that, you saving the world."_

_She couldn't imagine it, but nodded and smiled anyway._

_"Goodbye, Lillianne."_

---

"I told you to stay at the front of the building." Angel was pretty angry. He hadn't stopped pacing since they got back to the Morris' home. _No, it's not their home. They used to live someplace else before the war started. Maybe it was a nice house, maybe it wasn't…it was still home to them._

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

"You're damn right it won't."

Sarah was angry with Briana for not saying anything in her or even their defense. She was just taking in all in. Letting Angel yell at them for something that was mostly her fault. Angel was just as bad, he hadn't yelled at Briana yet, only at Sarah. _It's not fair._

"Why don't you yell at Bri? She was there too."

"You're older."

"So what?"

"You should look after her. That's what the oldest does."

"I wouldn't know much about that. I'm an only child."

"But you lived with dozens of girls for a year, didn't you?"

"Yes. But I didn't socialize with them. I hardly spoke to them, I didn't want to."

Angel frowned in confusion. "Why not?"

"Yeah, why not?" asked Briana, speaking for the first time since entering the decrepit building.

Sarah didn't answer. She didn't want to open up and share her feelings. Feelings got you killed; emotions don't help in a fight. None except hate.

"Why not?" repeated Angel.

"It's none of your business."

"Why'da bring it up then?" asked Briana.

"Shut up." Sarah snapped at the younger girl. Briana looked hurt for a second and then resumed her passive glare.

"Fine. You don't want to talk to me or Bri, who will you talk to?"

"No one."

Angel took that in with a nod. "Tell me how that works out for you."

Sarah let out a breath of annoyance.

"Can we take the Morris' now?"

"No, it was a mistake asking you to come with me. You'll go back to the Hotel, right now and right there. No stopping to play hero. You go straight home."

_It's not my home._ "Fine." Sarah walked out of the room and down the small set of stairs. She could hear Briana coming after her.

"You can be a bitch sometimes, you know that." Briana said stepping into place beside Sarah. "Angel only wants to protect us. He's a good guy and you keep being a bitch to him. He's nice and-"

"You like him."

"No, I don't."

"Sure you do. Oh, _Briana_," Sarah said pointedly. "Poor, little, young and impressionable Briana."

"Don't call me that."

"It's your name, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I don't like you calling me Briana."

"Why not?"

"No reason."

"It seems I'm not the only keeping secrets."

"Oh, shut up!"

---

_"I'll take them, Miss," said the chauffeur; Sarah let him pull the suitcases down the stairs towards the car. She opened the backseat door and slid into the car. "Don't you want to say goodbye, Miss?"_

_"No."_

_He didn't respond. Instead he opened the trunk and lifted the suitcases in one at a time. Sarah waited patiently while he started up the car, as it pulled out of the driveway and onto the secluded road, she felt a huge weight lift from her shoulders._

Maybe it'll get better, being a Slayer can't all be bad. Right?

_She wouldn't miss her mother or stepfather. But she would miss Lillianne and her friends. Mostly Andrew. How was she going to explain this to them? Her friends knew nothing of demons and Slayers. Only what they have learnt from television and movies. Only some actually got it right._

_She couldn't tell them, she was going to concoct an elaborate lie to keep them from knowing the truth._ Isn't that what lies do, keep the truth from you?

_With one last look, Sarah said goodbye to her old life._

---

"How come you're back?" asked Connor as Sarah and Briana entered the lobby of the Hyperion.

"Angel sent us back," Briana answered, Sarah was glad she wouldn't have to explain it. Briana began telling Connor the story, so Sarah took that as an opportunity to have some time to herself.

She ascended the stairs and walked to her room. She liked the room very much. It didn't have much furniture. Faith had said something about being Spartan. Sarah knew what it meant, but couldn't figure out why Faith laughed after saying it.

She fell forward onto her bed; she bounced until the momentum stopped. She rolled onto her back and starred at the ceiling. The ceiling reminded her of the ones in Rome where she spent a year underneath; training to kill demons, learning to defend herself and others, learning to attack…learning to become a Slayer.

She was Slayer, not the only one. No one is the only one. But it still made her special and different. Maybe it wasn't something she did better than anyone else; it didn't bother her that there were others. In fact it made her feel safer and less relied upon. The responsibility of saving the world didn't rest solely on her shoulders. Many could carry the burden. It made her feel less alone.

_Knock_ _knock_.

"Come in," Sarah was surprised when Connor walked into the room.

"Bri gave me the quick version. The kid can talk really fast."

"I've noticed."

"Yes, you would have." Connor walked to Sarah's bed. "You've known her a long time."

"A year's not that long."

"It is for some people."

"What do you want? I don't think you came to chat about Bri. You could have talked to Bri about that."

"I wanted to see how you were."

"Oh, really."

"Yeah. You've been distant lately."

"Define lately."

"Since Jade's little brother died."

"Wrong answer. I've been distant since the day I found out I was a Slayer. Jade's brother has nothing to do with it."

"Okay, if you say so."

"I just did. Could you leave me alone now?"

"Sure. I'm just down the hall if you want to talk."

Sarah's eyes filled with tears. Connor left without saying another word. As the door closed Sarah's tears poured down her face.

---

_"Hello Sarah."_

_"Hello, Mister Giles. It's wonderful to see you again," Sarah smiled at the Watcher. It was good to see him again._

_"Did you have a nice flight?"_

_"It was fine." She shrugged. "What happens now?"_

_"Right to business then? I was hoping we could talk-"_

_"Like we used to." Sarah finished. Giles nodded. "I don't think so. Maybe some other time. I want to know what's going to happen to me now that I'm a Slayer."_

_"Of course." Giles gestured to the chair in front of his desk. Sarah sat down and crossed her legs at the ankles._ Just like I was taught_. "Would you like some tea?"_

_"No, thank you."_

_"No tea. You must be-"_

_"Very anxious to get this over with."_

_"I see." Giles studied her for a moment. "Is something wrong?"_

_"You mean besides that fact that I'm now a Slayer, a warrior who has to fight demons that want to kill her on a nightly basis. My mother hasn't been happier in possibly her entire life, I can't tell my friends why I've left the country, I never got the chance to tell my boyfriend that I love him and I have to spend God knows how long in Rome training. No, nothings wrong."_

_"I'm sorry this has happened to you," Giles said, not missing a beat. "I wanted the Seer to be wrong when she gave me your name. But you are a Slayer now whether you like it or not. Buffy and I have talked and decided that a Slayer would only be an active Slayer if she wishes. If you want to return to England and to your life, you may."_

_"No, I've already said goodbye."_

---

"His name was Andrew," Sarah said as she stepped into Connor's room.

"Excuse me?" Connor looked confused, he sat up on his bed, starring at the Slayer before him. Jade wasn't in the room like she usually was when she wasn't in her own room. She had returned by herself an hour ago and was sleeping in Faith's bed. _Not entirely sure why._

"My boyfriend's name was Andrew," Sarah said again. "He was…wonderful. Smart, kind and I think he loved me. I want him to have loved me. That's all I ever wanted, someone to love me. I know Lillianne loved me, but it's not the same."

"I don't understand why you're telling me this."

"Because you were right. Andrew's dead, just like Jade's little brother. I know it's different, but we both loved them. They're both gone. Taken."

"How did Andrew-?"

"Vampire."

"I'm sorry."

"I was training to become a Slayer when it happened. I was allowed to go back to England for the funeral. But I left straight after…too many questions were waiting for me when I got back."

"When did he die?"

"September 25th. I think I will remember that day forever."

"I'm sorry," he said again. Connor got up from his bed and walked to Sarah. She took a step back.

"No hugs. I'm not the hugging type." That was a lie she loved hugs. "No one else knows, not even Bri. Everyone at Slayer Training thought I was celebrating my stepfather's birthday. You can't tell anyone."

"Why not?"

Sarah just stared at him. Connor nodded. It wasn't his place to tell the others about her past, it was her place and she would tell them when she was ready.

"I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you." Sarah turned to leave, but Connor called her name and she turned back to face him.

"Why did you tell me?"

"Because I'm ready to say goodbye." Sarah smiled sadly and left the room without saying another word.

---

_"…And here is your room." Giles stopped in front of the door to Sarah's left. The building was very large; Giles said it could house two hundred people. She didn't like the idea of sharing, as she never had to do it before._ Perks of being an only child.

_Sarah went into the room first and was disheartened to see that two other people would be sharing the room with her. One of those girls was sitting on her bed._

_"Hi, I'm Holly."_

_"Hello, I'm-"_

_"Oh, a Brit. We have a lot of those, you'll fit in."_

_Holly looked only a year or two younger than Sarah. She was American, had long, straight light brown hair, was tall and wore jeans and a blue jumper. She seemed nice enough. Well, except for the bracing 'we have a lot of Brits' comment. I wonder what the other roommate will be like._

_"Hello, Holly."_

_"Hi, Giles. When's the other one getting here?"_

_"Not sure. As of yet, no one else will be placed in this room. We still have some girls to round up."_

_"Great, now we're Slayers and cattle."_

_Sarah smiled in spite of her mood. Holly seemed pleased with herself for making the older Slayer smile._

_"I'll leave you two to get better acquainted," said Giles as he left the room. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."_

_"Good day, Giles," Sarah said, Giles nodded and closed the door behind him._

_"So, how old are you?" asked Holly as soon as the door clicked shut. Sarah sighed,_ this is going to be hell.

---

"Hi ladies," greeted Faith, as she entered the Hyperion lobby. "And gentlemen." She continued after seeing Angel and Connor. Spike walked in behind, he was smoking.

"Hi, guys. Where's Gunn?" asked Angel, worry already evident on his face. Sarah moved her head hoping to see Gunn come in the lobby also. But she didn't.

"He said he had something he needed to do. Not sure what it is," answered Spike, taking a puff of his smoke.

"Did you ask?" Connor

"I asked, he said not to worry," Faith shrugged, she descended the small flight of steps. "Maybe it has nothing to do with anything."

"That makes a lot of sense," commented Angel, still looking worried. "I'm going to look for him."

"Dad," Connor started to respond. Angel held up his hand.

"No, I'm going. It's dangerous out there."

"Well, have fun," Connor said. "You know, burning into ash. It's only an hour away from sunrise. Do you really want to look for him?"

"Oh. Right." Angel thought for a moment. "Okay, you and the girls can go."

"What?" Bri yelled. "No way, I'm going to sleep. I haven't slept since last night. I'm not going." Briana left the round lounge and stormed upstairs.

"Bloody hell. What's up with her?"

"Spike, be quiet."

"You shut up first and then I'll think about it," Spike shot back at Angel. "Don't worry, about lawyer boy-"

"None of us are lawyers anymore, Spike. Actually, Gunn was the only one…so…" Angel sighed. "Since Bri's not going. Connor, get Jade-"

"Her brother just died!" yelled Faith, amazed that Angel was acting the way he was. "I won't let you make her go. She needs to be alone."

"And we need to find Gunn. I'm not going to let him get killed."

"You're not, damn it!" Faith walked up to Angel. "I don't know what your problem is, but Gunn can take care of himself."

"I'm not losing anyone else."

Faith deflated a bit, "I know you've lost a lot. But sending the girls out to find Gunn isn't the way."

"Where's Gunn?" asked Jade, appearing suddenly at the top of the stairs. The small fifteen year old walked down the stairs. Sarah felt uneasy by her presence, it seemed that the others were as well.

"Jade, you should be resting," Faith turned her attention to Jade.

"I heard Bri. What happened?"

"Nothing. You go back and rest in my bed."

Jade shook her head, "I'm not tired. Not anymore, anyway."

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No." She shook her head again, this time with more emphasis. "Where's Gunn?"

"Doing something."

"By himself?"

"Yes," Faith said slowly. "He'll be okay-"

"I thought Luke was okay. He wasn't."

"It's not the same. Gunn can take care of himself. He knows how to fight."

"So what?" countered Jade, Faith looked mildly hurt. "Gunn could be in trouble."

"That's what I keep saying, but does anyone else listen?" huffed Angel. Sarah was surprised at his behaviour.

"Shut up, you ponce," snapped Spike.

"Stop smoking in front of the people who can get cancer," Angel walked over to Spike and pulled the smoke from his hand.

"Hey, give it back!" cried Spike, but Angel had already snuffed in underneath his heel.

"There, much better." Angel took a step back, before anyone could react Spike spun Angel to face him and punched him in the face.

Sarah sighed, rolling her eyes as the vampires began to fight.

---

_Sarah Roberts was only seventeen when she became a Vampire Slayer. But her roommate was only fifteen._ Can you imagine being fifteen and the world's weight on your shoulders? _She couldn't imagine it. But then again, no one would have to ever again. There are hundreds of Slayers in the world now. They are born Slayers. They have a whole network of people to depend on, other Slayers to lean on._

_As she watched Holly spar with a girl named Briana, Sarah was finally happy with being the Slayer._ _Not_ the _Slayer_. A Slayer. It's different now. No one was special anymore by default, now you have to earn. _And she was willing to._

.END.


	10. Turning Over a New Slayer

Episode 6.10  
Turning Over a New Slayer  
By Karen

Gunn walked down the street. He had told Spike he had something to do, but the truth was, he just had to get out of there. The girls were driving him crazy, Briana's talking, Sarah's bossiness, Jade's melancholy.

_Because they remind you of the sister you lost._

That wasn't true at all, they weren't anything like his sister. She was sweet, and innocent, and caring. She was nothing like them.

_No, Jade is more like you, grieving over a sibling she was supposed to protect, just like it was your job to protect Alonna._

_How long has it been since you last thought about your dear sister? What about the people you called friends for years? Do you wonder what they're doing now that the city has fallen down around their ears?_

They were probably having the times of their lives. If they were alive, that was.

He found himself in the park where he had carved Alonna's name into a tree, because she would never get a gravestone. He found the tree quickly and ran his fingers along the grooves, quickly whipping out his pocketknife to reopen the scars on the tree, to make her name more permanent.

After gazing at the name a bit more, he turned and went back to Hotel Hell. Walking back through the streets, he watched as people sifted through the remains of homes and businesses. It had been over a month since the night they had all died, and those that had fled that horrendous night were slowly trickling back into the dead city, slowly picking up the pieces of their lives.

Coming through the door, he found Angel and Spike fighting.

"What's going on here? What'd I miss?" he asked.

Angel and Spike looked at him, before glaring at the other vampire, "He started it!" they said as one. "No I didn't, you did!"

"I'm not sure how we got here, but it's making me kinda hot, so they can continue whenever they like," Faith said with a sly grin.

"It's good to see you back," Angel said, but not asking the questions he wanted to, not wanting to pry.

"I just went for a bit of a walk, to clear my head is all," he told them, "Had to do some thinkin'."

"Well, it's been a long night, so if no one else minds, I'll be upstairs getting some shut eye," Faith said, before quickly going upstairs to her room. Spike, the one standing closest to her, looked at her strangely as she retreated.

"Hello?" she said, after closing her door, locking it against intruders.

"Long time no hear, Faith. I supposed you haven't forgotten about our little deal?"

"No, I haven't."

"Just checking." The phone went dead.

"Who was that, luv?" the voice made her jump, and she looked over at Spike, who had come in through the door connecting their rooms.

"No one, wrong number," she said, stuffing the phone into her pocket where it had come from just moments before. "Why did you follow me?"

"Thought I heard something funny, decided to check it out," he said, walking farther into the room. She swallowed slightly, wondering just how he had heard it if she had had it on vibrate, dreading such a call. "So, haven't heard you crying for awhile, did those nightmares finally leave you be?"

She looked at him, confused, before she remembered, "Nah, just got used to 'em, is all," she said, trying to be flip, trying to brush him off.

"Faith, you don't have to pretend with me," he told her softly, moving to stand directly behind her, "I had thought we'd gotten past that point."

"What point?" she asked, turning to him, stepping back, not realizing he was so close to her. She hadn't given herself a chance to go over the things she was feeling, not so much because she hadn't had the time, but because she didn't want to.

"I don't know," he said frustrated, before quickly putting a hand to her cheek and kissing her. She was startled, and then she returned his kiss, knowing more than anything that it was something she really wanted to do. They stumbled around, clinging to each other, before the back of her knees hit the bed, and she fell backwards onto it, pulling him with her.

He lay on top of her, his body pressed against hers, his lips against hers. Then he pulled away. She saw something in his eyes as he stared down at her a moment, before he quickly pushed away from her. She sat up, staring after him as he rushed from the room, confused. What was that about? It had felt right to her, so right it scared her. But was the feeling only on her side? Did she truly have feelings for one of the things she was supposed to fight?

She sighed. She knew he was good, he had a soul or a chip or whatever he had now, but that didn't change what he was, what he had been. Why was it that she felt differently about Spike than she did Angel? Why did she trust Angel, even though personalities and looks aside, they were the same thing? Both were contradictions, and yet she trusted the vampire she knew to have been more violent.

Maybe it was the trip through his past, seeing the worst side of someone generally brought about empathy, even if she wasn't one for empathizing. Maybe that was why she trusted Angel so much more than she trusted Spike, because she had walked in Angel's shoes, while she knew next to nothing about Spike.

But it wasn't like she wanted to. She did want to know things about him, she just didn't know the best way of going about finding stuff out. It wasn't like a background check had been required in the past to get into her pants.

Would it be better to go about finding information by simply asking Spike, or going behind his back, to Angel, or even Willow or Buffy or Giles, calling them for information?

She decided that the best thing to do was be open with Spike, to ask him and let him tell what he wanted. And if she wasn't satisfied, then she'd go to Willow or Giles.

She stood, happy that she now had a plan of attack. She was always better when she knew what she was going to do. She went to the adjoining door, and after trying the knob and finding it locked, she was about to knock when she heard his voice. Quietly, she pressed her ear to the door and listened, before she had heard enough. Quickly she grabbed her coat and wallet and stormed out of the room, closing the door with more force than necessary on the way out.

---

Back in his own room, Spike quickly locked the door adjoining their rooms. He leaned against the door, shaken and confused. Confused about the things he felt, things that he shouldn't feel.

He sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands, trying to think. Things just didn't add up. How could he have dedicated his life to Buffy for four years of his un-life, sworn up and down that she was the one for him, that he loved her more than he had ever loved anything ever, only to feel something for someone else?

It was the distance, he decided. He hadn't seen Buffy in over a year. He hadn't even talked to her in over a year, not since she had told him…

He had to know. He had made some flip comment, telling her that she didn't feel anything, but he could have been wrong, right? What if she really did feel something for him? What if she chose him over Angel?

He scoffed, like that would ever happen.

But there was a slight chance. Nothing was impossible, after all. He had to know, once and for all what she felt for him, whether he was just a good thing during a bad time, or if she really did care about him as she had proclaimed.

After sitting there for only God knows how long, he went to the main door to his room and locked that one as well, before sitting on his bed, staring at the newly installed and activated telephone. It was the only way he could ever know. After a moment, he picked up the headset and quickly dialed the number he had memorized.

"Hello?" her voice came over the phone, and he couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, pet," he said into the phone.

"Spike. Long time no hear," she said, her tone unreadable. He couldn't tell if she was annoyed that he had called, or pleased to hear from him.

"I'm not one much for the phone, so I'll cut right to the chase. When you said you loved me, back in Sunnydale, I know I gave you a flip response, but did you mean it?" he asked.

He heard her sigh, and knew the answer, "I'm sorry, Spike. I just thought it was what you needed to hear. I-If I had known you would be back within a few months, I probably wouldn't have said it. I feel guilty about leading you on," she explained softly, her voice music to his ears.

"That's okay, luv," he told her as the wheels in his mind began turning, half formed thoughts and ideas.

"What's this all about?" she asked.

"Nothing, just covering my bases. I had planned on visitin' you last year, before all this happened, but…"

"I never thought you to be the type to jump on the Angel wagon," she said, and he could hear her smile through the phone.

"Me neither, pet. And I'm sorry about, you know, not telling you that I was back. I was gonna, but didn't know quite how to phrase it. Then thought about just showing up, but didn't know how you'd take that either, if you'd kill me or not. So I stayed put."

"It's okay, I forgive you."

"Oh, by the way, luv, he thinks about you all the time," he said, a smile forming on his lips as he said the words. He realized that it had been nothing but lust he had felt for her, wanting to feel what Angel had felt, why Angel would dump his family for a petite stick set on killing them. Now he knew. He also knew that the only relationship that would ever work out between them was friendship.

And more than anything, he wanted her to be happy.

"What? Who?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.

"Not like he says anything, but I can tell, you know? He just gets this look on his face, and it's clear as day he's thinking about you. I'd even take a guess and say he still loves you, pet," he said with a smile on his face, "Well, I'll let you get back on with your day, if you need someone to talk to, just give me a ring," he gave her his number, then said, "Goodbye Buffy," and hung up, without giving her a chance to answer.

He took a moment to put his thoughts into order, then unlocked the door to Faith's room, knocking slightly before pushing the door open. "Faith?" he called, looking around, only to find the room empty. Entering the room, he checked the bathroom, but she wasn't there. Leaving the conjoining door ajar, he exited the room through her door, and headed down into the lobby, where he found Jade and Briana sitting on opposite sides of the slightly damaged round couch, reading.

"Have you two seen Faith?" he asked, heading towards the office, though he knew her scent was old.

"Yeah, she stormed out about half an hour ago," Jade told him.

"I think she was headed towards the bar that recently reopened on North Grand Avenue," Angel said, coming out of his office. He crossed his arms across his chest. He had only caught a glimpse of the slayer as she had rushed out, but she looked a mix between hurt and pissed.

"Thanks," Spike said, heading towards the door, "Oh, uh, don't be surprised if you get a call from a hot blonde," he said, before leaving. Angel stared after him, just a bit confused.

---

He ran most of the way to the bar, a seedy joint that most respectable people wouldn't enter, but that didn't really matter if it was the only joint in the city that had decent beer for decent prices.

He pushed open the door and entered the underground facility, and his eyes instantly found Faith. She was sitting on a stool at the bar, nursing a drink. He sighed in relief at having found her, before sidling over, sitting next to her and motioning for a beer for himself.

"Go away," she said, downing the shot in front of her with a flick of her wrist, setting the glass down and pouring herself some more whiskey from the bottle on the bar in front of her.

"Didn't figure you one for the whiskey, luv," he said, snapping the cap off the beer set before him.

"That's me, a whiskey girl, need some thing with a little more pain, little ragged 'round the edges." She threw back another shot, before looking over at him, "Sorry, my roomie had a thing for Toby Kieth," she said without humor.

"Good thing I like it rough," he said with a wink in her direction, "So, what's the occasion?" he asked, nodding towards the shot she was pouring.

She turned to look at him, incredulous, "I heard you! On the phone, with B, asking if she still loved you! You string me along, get me to start thinking that you just might last longer than a one night roll, and then you cast me aside!" she yelled at him, "I heard you call her 'luv' and 'pet!'"

He looked at her a moment, then laughed, taking a swig of his beer.

"What's so god damned funny?"

He swallowed, then turned back to her, "I was calling B, because as you know, I had the hots for her for awhile, and I was confused. My blood doesn't exactly rush to my head, and though I knew there was never anything between us, I had to make sure," he stared her in the eye, "I was…clearing the air, turning over a new leaf, Faith."

"Why were you confused?" she asked, setting down her most recent shot to turn and look at him.

He chuckled, "Well, let's just say I've never met anyone that kisses quite like you do, luv. I wanted to see how far you'd let me go, and yet I had this nagging doubt that I was being untrue to Buffy," he told her softly, "It wasn't until after I called her and she confirmed my suspicions that I realized that there had never been anything between us but lust."

"Really?" Faith said, leaning back against the bar so the hem of her white cropped tee left the top of her low slung jeans.

"Really," he told her, "What do you say we get out of here? This place ain't for types like us," he said, straight faced, and she laughed.

"Sure ain't." He threw a couple of bills on the counter, and she hopped off her barstool, and they headed towards the stairs. When they reached the stairs, she turned around and went back to the bar, threw some more money into the pile, and grabbed the half full bottle of whiskey. You never know when a bottle of whiskey could come in handy...

.END.


	11. Go Down Smiling

Episode 6.11  
**Go Down Smiling  
**Written by Maddy

_Dear…_

_Hey, there. How are you? Good? Good, that's good. I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I'm not a fan of expressing my feelings and I definitely don't want to be writing them down for the whole world to 'accidentally' come across then blurt out to Matt that I like him – _

God, I was such a geek. I mean, look at me. I closed my diary and put it back where it belonged: underneath my pillow. That was the first entry, it wasn't the last and I kinda wish it were. Three weeks after I got that diary, three weeks after my fifteenth birthday a guy called Xander Harris came to my house in San Diego, sat me and my parents down and told us this mega huge epic tale of demons, Hellmouths, witches, spells, vampires, werewolves and finally Slayers. And apparently I was one of them. How fucking awesome is that?

My mom and dad didn't believe him. I didn't either, but I wanted to. I wanted to be everything he thought I should be: a hero. Who doesn't want to be a hero? Nobody I know. And I actually know real life flesh and blood heroes. Buffy and Faith, and even their friends, Xander, Willow, Andrew, Robin and Dawn. Mister Giles doesn't count because I've never seen him do anything heroic. Dawn swears that he has done some heroic things, but he's old and the image doesn't fit in my head.

So I was thrilled when I packed up my things, kissed my mom and dad goodbye, told them not to worry and to say 'bye' to my older brother and sister. They didn't live at home, Laura was twenty at the time and Kyle was twenty-two. I was the baby, but now I could take care of them. I didn't need anyone taking care of me anymore. I was a Vampire Slayer. I was going to be a hero. I had superpowers and could kick (according to Xander) some serious demon ass. I was totally psyched.

One year later I'm in LA and now I know even more heroes. Angel prefers the term 'champion,' he's both. I really like him. But not in the 'date me' sense. Come on, gross much. It may work for Buffy, but not for me. Plus, _old_. I like him more than I like Spike, but I'm not going to tell anyone that. I think Sarah does too. But she hardly speaks to me expect to say 'do shut up' or 'oh, honestly.' She likes to live up to the British stereotype of being a stuck-up snob. For about a week now, she's been hanging out with Connor a lot. I don't know if anything is going on between them. It would be funny if it were. I wonder what Angel would think. Hmm.

Jade hasn't been feeling well and Faith's losing her head over it and Spike's been trying to find it whenever that happens. I'm pretty sure something is going on between them. Little glances and playful laughs and when they spar…it's like: whoa. I wonder what Angel thinks about that. He's probably overjoyed that Spike doesn't want Buffy anymore.

I got off my bed and walked out of my room. I like having a room to myself. Back in Slayer School I had to share with this Australian girl who had no taste in music and would not shut up. I talk a lot, but, Jesus…

"Hey, Bri," greeted Connor as he also exited his room. "Do you know where Sarah is?"

I raised my eyebrows and then rolled my eyes. "Haven't seen her all day."

"Neither have I." He sighed, "Thank you anyway." And he quickly walked towards the stairs. I followed, but at a much slower pace. It's not like I had anywhere to be.

When I arrived in the lobby, the others were also there. Everyone minus Sarah, Jade and Faith. I guess Jade was feeling sick again.

"I don't know why Faith has to look after the blonde one," Spike said to Angel. I stared at the blond vampire in amazement. God, could he be anymore self-centered?

"Why, is it cutting into your time, Spike?" Angel crossed his arms across his chest. "Slayers don't get sick."

"Buffy did once," Spike countered.

"Fine. Buffy did once. But that was the flu, a really bad flu-"

"Yeah, and you tried to kill her," cut in Spike.

"I was _evil_. You'd think I'd get some kind of allowance. You tried to kill her more than I did."

"Not that this is fun, because it is. I'm having fun," Gunn looked around. "Anyone else not having fun?"

"Yeah," I answered, "You'd think they'd get over it. Spike's with Faith now," I smiled widely has I had a sudden _great_ idea. "Can I go out on patrol?"

"No," answered Angel, much to quickly for my liking.

"Oh, come on. We need to keep patrolling. I like to patrol, Connor could come with me."

"I have to find Sarah."

I sighed, taking that it. "Fine. Someone else can come with me. Where is Sarah, anyway?"

"We don't know. Hence: finding her," Connor said, he was starting to stress out. Cool it.

"Cool it, Sarah's a Slayer. She can totally handle herself." I gave a dismissive wave. "So, who is going to come with?"

"I said 'no,' Briana," Angel said.

"Do you want to come?" I wasn't going to give up that easily.

"No, I was going-"

"Waste away waiting for Buffy to call. Maybe you should just call her first," I suggested. Angel didn't agree.

"No, this is up to her. I don't want to – why am I telling you this. Go away."

"On patrol?" I asked hopefully.

"You want to go that bad, I'll take you," offered Gunn. I smiled again.

"Thank you."

"Why do you want to go out so badly?" asked Connor. I didn't answer; I don't think they'd understand.

---

Half an hour later, Gunn and I were walking through the most destroyed part of town. He wasn't talking much, so I had to fill in the Grand Canyon silences.

"You should have heard the way she spoke," I was raving about my roomie, the Australian girl from Sydney. "I had a hard time understanding her at first. Her accent was sorta cool, but that didn't mean she made any sense. She had funny names for things. Popsicles are called ice-blocks. Ice-blocks! It sounds like they sit around licking blocks of ice. She'd ask how I was going. Going where? At least she had another Australian to hang around. The Australians and the New Zealandians-"

"New Zealanders," Gunn cut in.

"Right." I didn't even realize he was actually paying attention. "Yeah, they all grouped together. Their accents weren't the same, but some of the stuff they said was. They were really alike. You know how they say Australians are laidback, well, it's true. Nothing fazed her. Nothing. She'd roll with the punches; go with the flow, while half of us had nervous breakdowns. She was nice though. I wonder where she is."

"You don't know?" asked Gunn.

I shook my head. "Not a clue. She left the School a month before the war started, she said was heading back to Sydney."

"Maybe she's still there."

"I guess."

"What's her name?"

"What's who's name?"

"Your roomie. You haven't said what her name was."

I pondered about it for a moment and realized that I hadn't. "Oh, her name was – I mean, is – Charlotte. Something about her mother wanting to honour the convicts."

"What?"

"First Fleet. You know, the convicts…" I waited for the recognition.

"I know about the convicts," snapped Gunn.

"Yeah, well, one of the ships was named the Charlotte."

"Oh. How do you know this stuff? Do you get taught Australian history in school?"

"No, but you try living with an Australian who's ancestors were convicts and she happened to be very proud of that fact and would rave about Australian history for hours. Let me tell you, not much has happened. So tell me about yourself."

"Not now."

"Oh, come on. Don't be a baby."

"Not now. Vamps straight ahead."

I followed his gaze – which wasn't straight ahead – and saw three figures walking down the street towards us. "How do you know?"

"You just do. Don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. I get a feeling. But you're just a regular guy. How do you know?"

"Practice," he answered simply, pulling out a stake from his back pocket. I did the same, only the stake came from my back pocket. "Ready to rumble?"

"What does that even mean?"

"We live through this, I'll tell you."

I was floored. "You think we're going to die? Shouldn't we be running?"

"Lighten up. I was just messing with you."

"But this is serious."

Gunn laughed, shaking his head, "You've got a lot to learn."

"Sure. I hope I live to learn it," I mumbled. The street was dark, not because of the obvious reason that it was nighttime, but because on this street there was no power. We had power at the Hyperion; we were lucky it got turned back on. But here, only three streets over…it looked like the middle of a war zone. No one was out, except Gunn, the three vampires and me. Soon it will be just Gunn and I. I hope.

"Should we pretend we're helpless?" I asked softly.

"We'll try. If they haven't seen our weapons, it'll work. If not…" he left the sentence hanging in the air.

"Just go crazy."

"But in a precise way. Be careful, Angel will have my neck."

"Literally."

"Ha, ha."

"Shh, this is serious," I laughed as quietly as I could. In the dark, I could barely make out Gunn's face, but I hope he was smiling. He's been very down in the dumps lately. I wonder what's up.

"Hey man," greeted Gunn. The vampires slowed to a stop. Their faces were still human. "What are you doing in this neighborhood? It ain't safe."

"I suppose it's safe for you and the squirt," commented the lead vampire. He was flanked by a male and a female. God, I hate vampires. Angel and Spike are the only ones in the world I would trust.

"Yeah," I answered, remaining cool, calm and collected. "It is."

"Why's that, little girl?"

"Because I'm not a little girl."

Gunn stepped forward and staked the lead vampire.

"Wha-?" He turned to dust. The other two stepped back in surprise. I laughed at their frightened expressions, they were expecting an easy feed tonight, not trouble. Their faces morphed, teeth barred, ready to attack and ready to turn to dust.

The female lunged at Gunn, while the male lunged at me.

---

Fuck. My head hurt. What happened?

"What happened?"

"They had reinforcements," answered Angel. I opened my eyes and found I was lying on my back on my bed. Angel was leaning over me. "Three more vampires showed up. They're dust now. But one managed to knock you out cold. How are you feeling?"

"Stupid," I pushed myself up and lent against the headboard. "It was my idea. I could have gotten Gunn killed. Is he okay?"

"He's fine," Angel chuckled. "He likes the part where he saved a Vampire Slayer."

"Nice ego boost. Happy I could help."

"Hello, Briana," Sarah entered the room through the door that connected our two rooms. Jade and Faith followed. "It's good to see you awake."

"Yeah, now the non-stop talking can start up again," grinned Faith, "it was getting quiet around here."

"How are you feeling, Bri?" asked Jade as she sat at the end of my bed. "You've been out for hours."

"Really?"

Angel nodded, "Four hours."

"Oh, I thought being a Slayer, I'd wait up quicker. I've never been knocked out before."

"What was it like?" asked Jade. Faith laughed loudly.

"What kind of question is that?" asked Faith.

I ignored Faith, "Nothing. I was just asleep."

"Nice rest?" asked Faith, still laughing.

"Oh, shut up," I smiled. Gunn ran into the room. I instantly became alert. "I'm glad you're okay. I'm sorry-"

"Don't mention it." He turned his attention to Angel. "Phone for you."

"Who is it?" Angel asked, as he backed away from the bed.

Gunn took a breath. "Buffy."

.End.


	12. The Call

Episode 6.12  
The Call  
by Karen

The whole room was silent. The phone call everyone had been waiting for had finally come. They just sat there, waiting for some reaction.

Finally, Angel took a deep, unneeded breath, "I'll take it in my room," he said, turning towards the door. Gunn nodded, knowing that would be the vampire's choice, had already transferred it.

"Say hi for us," Briana called after him.

Sarah turned on her, a look of disgust on her face, "What was that?" she asked, once the vampire was out of the room.

"What?"

"'Say hi for us'?" Sarah asked, "From the way Mr. Harris told it, Buffy is the bloody love of Angel's bloody life! And you want him to say 'hi' for us?"

Gunn and Faith looked at each other, "Nah, she's not British," Faith joked.

---

"Buffy," he said once he picked up the phone.

"Angel," she said, her voice a bit breathy, with a hint of fear, and something else he couldn't distinguish.

"Buffy," he returned in the same tone, and heard a small sigh at the other end of the phone.

"It's good to hear your voice," she said softly.

"It's good to hear yours," he said, sitting on the side of his bed. Then he shook himself mentally, "Uh, Spike said you'd call."

"He did? Yes, I guess he would. I'm mostly calling to check on Sarah, Briana, and Jade. Willow said you promised to call if you found anything out, but we haven't heard from you. And we've been meaning to get in touch with you, and then nobody would do it, and it got put off, so now I'm calling."

"Things have been busy," he said defensively. "But I do have some information on Jade, if you're ready for it."

"Go ahead," she said, and quickly he informed her of the things that Faith had learned from the girl and filled him in on. "Have you found this Luke yet?" Buffy asked, and he ran a hand through his hair.

"Jade is doing really well here. She's a bit under the weather at the moment, but Faith seems to have taken her under her wing, and the two are greatly helping each other."

"Angel," she interrupted. He was reminded that they both knew when one was lying to the other, and sighed.

"I'm just saying that I don't think that Jade is stable enough to leave yet. She did find Luke, her younger brother, along with the other children she had grown up with. They grew up in an orphanage like I said, and as far as we can tell, she is the only one that survived out of at least twenty children. According to Faith, Luke was everything to Jade. She was his mother, his sister, his best friend," he said.

"That's got to be tough," Buffy said softly.

"I agree with you that she needs training, but this city is her entire life, her brother was her entire life. It's no surprise to me that she isn't feeling well. She's grieving."

"Can you guarantee me that you can handle her training?" Buffy asked, her tone business-like.

"Between Faith, Spike, Sarah, Briana, Connor, Gunn and I, I can guarantee both her safety and that she will get enough basics to stay alive."

"The girls have been with you at least a month now, right? A month in the field? An associate might show up sometime within the next month to gauge their progress. We sent them to you because we knew you would need them, but if they're not making enough progress, then they might need to be reassigned. This was to be for their benefit as much as yours, Angel. They need real experience without much danger before they can go back to their lives and be counted on surviving."

"Okay," Angel said, his voice holding no emotion. He didn't want to think at the moment what it would mean to everyone if the girls were assigned elsewhere. He had almost gotten used to their strange quirks and personalities. Though he didn't have a favorite, he knew that a few did. "Is this the only reason you called?" he asked.

She sighed, "Is it true you think about me all the time?"

"Yes," he said without thinking out his answer, without giving himself time to lie.

"Is it true that you still love me?" she asked quietly.

"We've gone over this. But yes, I still love you, I will always love you, only you."

"I just thought…with what you've been through…what happened? Our crew said they found Faith's body…"

He sighed, "We died, every one of us. I-I watched them all fall, before I finally fell," he said quietly, letting himself remember, knowing he was safe telling anything to Buffy. "A-And then we were in this white room, and there were other beings there, Gods maybe, or The Powers That Be. They gave us the choice to go to heaven, or be given a demon free life, or to go back and fight. We chose to fight."

"Why?"

That one simple word made him think. He hadn't questioned his reasonings in the moment, but now, afterwards, when he had seen what had happened… "Because I don't deserve to go the heaven, and with a demon free life, I wouldn't have you. There would be no way of us being together…they wanted to have me be reborn, live with a family, grow up, live a normal life, and then die. I wouldn't remember anything. I couldn't live without remembering you, it wouldn't be worth it."

"Angel," she sighed, and he thought he heard tears in her voice.

"So, uh, what's new with you?" he asked after a moment.

"Just training girls. We've got two hundred in different stages of development; from those that haven't accepted it yet, to those that are just about ready to go home and fight the good fight on their own, on their own ground. At first, we were just going to find them and train them in their home towns, but then the magnitude of what Willow did hit us, there just weren't enough of us, so Giles started an academy. We still have some girls that refuse to come to the academy but are willing to learn, but they're few and far between, so we can manage.

"We actually have so many slayers that Willow's looking for a spell for those that refuse to accept their destiny, to release them of it. Because girls that are slayers and don't know it or won't accept it are being targeted, and because they don't know how to protect themselves, dieing. We have so many willing to join the cause, it's amazing." He sat back, letting her talk. Once she was on a topic of interest, she sounded like her old, teenaged self, the girl he remembered from Sunnydale. "And we keep finding more girls everyday. They seem to get their powers at 14, which is really young, but with the program we have going, we're trying to make sure they survive for as long as possible. Another use for the spell would be to have them 'serve' until they're 20, or 25, and then release them of their calling if they want, so they can live a normal life. Almost like the military, you sign up for so many years, and the Council has enough money to offer benefits and stuff for slayers. We're really going places, changing the world."

"Would you ever want that, to stop being the slayer?"

"A slayer, Angel," she corrected kindly.

"You'll always be the only one to me."

He could tell he had flustered her by the way she said what she said next, "I've accepted that I'm a slayer, I don't think I could deal with it being taken away, it's a part of me. And now that I have a job that pertains to what I'm good at, my life is a dream, even though some things are missing."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Certain people, certain things," she said, being evasive on purpose, he could hear it in her voice. "Well, I've got to go, I've got a meeting to get to, but don't be a stranger, call me sometime."

"I'll do that," he said, knowing that he never would. He's torture himself before he'd ruin her happiness.

"Bye," she said.

"Bye," he replied, knowing that he sounded sad, knowing that she'd understand.

He stayed in his room for a few hours after he had hung up the phone, thinking over their conversation, her answers, and her veiled threats. He didn't know what bothered him more, her seemingly happiness, or the thought of losing the slayers. Even if it were the only reason for her calling, it would be a call nonetheless from her if she were calling about the girls. And then he felt guilty about thinking of them as nothing but a tool.

He decided then that tomorrow he would start a training regimen for the girls. The others would hate to see them have to go, and he was kind of attached to them as well. He was being desperate, but in the moments when he wasn't worrying about what he had done to LA, and when he wasn't worrying about his crew and when he wasn't worrying that they had chosen the wrong thing, he was worrying about her, wishing for a life with her.

He began mapping out a training schedule for them, and off in the other parts of the hotel, he heard doors close as his friends went to bed.

By the time everyone dragged themselves out of bed the next morning, he had a schedule all mapped out on a piece of poster board he had found lying around.

"What the-" Briana asked as she and Jade came down the stairs.

"Guess it wasn't a pleasure call," Faith said to Spike with a nudge as they followed behind the two girls. As they descended, Faith kept an eye on Jade, she was still getting sick every so often, and it worried Faith.

Angel waited silently before everyone had shown up. "Last night, a member of the Council informed me that this isn't supposed to be a pleasure stay," he said, looking at Briana and Sarah, "They also said that if you don't make improvement while you are here, then you will be reassigned." There were small gasps from the two girls, who looked at each other and then the friends they had made. "As for you, Jade, I've gotten you a stay for right now, but the same goes for you, if you don't get the training you need here, you'll have to go to England to get it." It was Jade's turn to gasp, and she looked imploringly at Faith, as if Faith could make his words not be true.

"That's why I've set up this schedule. It's flexible, but personally, I like the help you provide, so I'm going to be trying to stick to it as best as possible."

"So what's on the agenda for today?" Sarah asked.

"First we have to get Jade up to speed, but you two need to stick around, you might learn something you missed the first time."

"What type of lessons are these gonna be?" Faith asked, "There isn't much you need to learn about being a slayer, don't die. That's the only lesson that's kept me going."

"But they need to learn how to not die," Gunn said, "If I had had a chance to learn how to fight before I hit the streets, if it hadn't been learn on your feet, I don't know, maybe I would… be doing something different today." Everyone heard the unspoken part that came next, maybe he wouldn't have died.

"I was thinking that Faith, since you have the most experience being a slayer here, you would like to teach Jade some of the basics. Spike and I can stand in for demonstrations until nightfall. Then we'll take what she's learned out on the street and apply it."

"Nah," she said, shaking her head, "I've never had any formal training. I'd just screw it up." Spike, Sarah, Briana, Angel, Connor and Gunn all started to tell her otherwise, all having fought with her before, and the din was deafening.

So it was odd when a soft but clear voice from the doorway broke through the din, "I never had any formal training either, and I seem to have come out of it alright. I have a whole training school under my control."

Angel and Spike just stared at the blonde standing just inside the door, shocked to see her there, trying to remember if she had ever looked so lovely. Spike then mentally kicked himself, and turned his attention on Faith, who looked shocked, but then she had a big grin on her face. Sarah and Briana were likewise surprised, but they seemed more pleased than anything to see their mentor. Jade looked from one face to another, having no idea who this newcomer was, Gunn looked at her a minute, confused, before a light went on. Connor didn't seem to care who the woman was, but he had a good idea from the look on his father's face exactly who she was.

It was Faith that broke the silence, walking up to the slayer with sure strides, "B, long time no see!" she said, quickly giving the blonde a hug.

"Hi, Faith. I can't say that even with everything I've heard, I'm still surprised you're still here," she told the woman, "But then again, you kind of lucked out with the prison being destroyed," she walked down the steps, Faith on her heels, "I checked out the systematic destruction, and Willow's first hypothesis seems to be right, the demons targeted places of good, or places where slayers lived, or had lived. Gotta say," she said, looking around, "I like what you've done to it, not that I've ever been here…in life. But anyway," she said, "Briana, Sarah, nice to see you again, Spike, same to you. Angel," she nodded her head his way, locking gazes with him for a moment, before she turned back to the others, "You must be Jade. Nice meeting you."

"Uh, likewise," Jade said, shaking her hand, even though she had no clue who she was.

But she had already moved on, "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are, but it's a pleasure meeting you, I'm sure," Buffy said to Gunn and Connor, shaking each of their hands.

"Charles Gunn," he said, shaking Buffy's hand heartily.

"Connor," he said, watching her move, starting to understand why his father liked her so much.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your little meeting, I kinda found it fascinating."

"What are you doing here?" Briana asked, taking the words out of Angel's mouth.

"Well, I had some frequent flyer miles to cash in, and you guys have been here just about a month now, and not many of the others wanted to come and meet with two vampires, so I volunteered. I told you someone would show up within the month," she told Angel with a smirk, "The school's fine without me, they've got Willow, and Kennedy and Amanda, and all the others," she shrugged. "I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to some training after being cooped up on that stupid plane." She looked at everyone, but avoided Angel's eyes. She didn't know what she would see there, didn't want to know.

"Well, I guess that's settled," Faith said, "I'll just follow along, maybe I'll learn something." She looked at Buffy, noticed the slayer's avoidance of Angel. "That is, if it's okay with you, B, and Angel. You two probably have catching up to do," she said, thinking.

"Nah," Buffy said, drowning out Angel's answer, "That can come later. Slayer training comes first. Jade, do you know anything about slaying?"

"Uh…" she bit her lip, before shaking her head.

"Well, stop me if you've already heard this, but…" she went on to describe what the slayer was, what a slayer primarily did. "We'll teach you about vampires today, since we have two volunteers," she motioned to Angel and Spike, "Two ways to kill a vampire, cut off their head, or stake through the heart. Two things definitely repel them, Holy Water and crosses. I don't know about garlic, I never had good luck with it," she shot Angel a glance, "Though there is no surefire formula, it is generally agreed upon that the older the vampire, the stronger, just because they've been around longer, learned more. It's not advised to go against a vampire over 100 years of age or older without backup. In fact, the Council is negotiating adding it to the Slayer Handbook. This wasn't the case when Faith and I first started slaying, but you're not the only one, never be afraid to call for backup if you think you'll need it.

"You can't tell vampires apart from regular humans until they transform," Buffy turned to Angel, and he demonstrated. "Note the ridges, the yellow eyes, and the sharp fangs. I don't have to tell you to stay away from the fangs," she said with a small laugh.

"There is a ton of vampire lore, but I brought some books for you to read, quite a few, actually. We're currently trying to put together text books, to lighten the load of books, but those will be a few years down the road," she turned suddenly to Angel and Spike, "If you guys have anything you want put in, or left out, of the text books, you should probably let Giles know.

"Now, the biggest thing we're worried about is your fighting skills," she said, turning back to Jade, "Have you had any formal training, any type of martial art?" she asked, "Generally there's this form we have all slayers fill out, but…" she looked at her expectantly.

"I grew up on the street," Jade said, "I think that's the best education a girl could get on fighting," she said with a bit of bravado, hostility. She didn't like Buffy. She didn't like the way she just came in and starting bossing everyone around, and God could she talk. Even more than Briana!

"It's not enough," Faith and Gunn said at once. They looked at each other, and Faith let Gunn continue, "My sis and I grew up on the street, me and my gang, fighting vampires, surviving as a team. But my sister, vampires got he best of her, and the next thing I knew, I was fighting my sister."

Buffy felt bad for Gunn, and yet admired him for speaking up. "They're right. A street education is not going to win you many fights." She looked at the girl's disbelieving face and knew she wasn't going to be able to tell this girl anything. She turned to Angel, "Do you have a gym? A practice room, anything?" she asked.

"There's one in the basement."

"Show me."

Five minutes later, Angel showed them into a gym full of old equipment, but there was sufficient padding on the floor.

"This isn't going to be like what you would face out on the street, Jade, but it's a taste," Buffy said, stepping onto the padded flooring, "Spike?" she asked, turning to him, inclining her head. Their gazes met, and he nodded slowly. She turned to look at Faith, hoping the slayer would understand. She didn't know how far the relationship between the two had progressed, she hadn't even truly known until she had walked into the old hotel, but she hoped Faith understood. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Angel's surprised face as Spike stepped out onto the mat. She moved to the side, and Spike walked opposite her, then they turned to face each other.

"It's nice seeing you again," Buffy said softly, but she knew both vampires heard her.

"It's nice to see you, too," he said just as softly, as they began circling each other.

"A fight with a vampire while patrolling would never start like this. Generally, one always has the upper hand, depending on whether you surprise the vampire, or the vampire surprises you. You can never tell who is a vampire, so you have to learn to trust your instincts," she said as they circled. The last part she had to turn slightly to talk to her audience. She started to say something more, but that was when Spike made his move, while she was distracted, charging in to tackle her to the ground. As they fell, she tried to twist out of the grab, but he had her by the waist, and he fell on top of her.

He crawled up her body to sit on her stomach, punching her in the face. She wriggled underneath him, and he grinned, "Been awhile since we've done this, luv," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. She wasn't sure whether he was talking about their 'relationship' or the fighting. She grabbed him by his sleeves, and for a heart stopping minute, Angel had a vision of them kissing, but as she pulled on one of his sleeves, she kicked out the other hip, and flipped them over.

"Don't you remember, Spike, I like it on top," she said, mentally cringing, as she punched him in the face and pushed him away from her, using the momentum to push herself to her feet. He did a kip up, and they squared off again. He jabbed her in the face, making her spin; she used the momentum to spin herself around and backhand him. He backhanded her, and she returned the favor before spinning around and kicking him in the face. He fell to his knees, but pushed himself up in an instant, a sadistic grin on his face, "It has definitely been far too long, slayer."

She nodded, her face grim, as she concentrated on looking for a weakness. They circled a bit more before she kicked him below the knee and then brought her foot around to kick him in the head. He spun and used the momentum to back fist her in the cheek. Her head was flung to the side by the blow. She fell to the ground, a small gasp of pain coming from her lips. She looked up at Spike, glaring at him as a trickle of blood ran down her chin.

He laughed, walking over to her and pulling her up by her hair; she hissed in pain. "Let me continue the lesson," Spike said, pulling sharply on Buffy's hair, "A vampire will use anything against you, hair, earrings, necklaces. When you're patrolling, wear comfortable pants, shoes, no fancy shirts. Wear things you don't mind getting dirty," he said, wiping his finger across Buffy's cheek and licking the blood from his thumb, "This is what I miss most about being evil, the blood. Your blood is like the elixir of life. Tasting a slayer, killing a slayer," he smirked at Buffy, adding a last part silently, "That's something every vampire dreams of." He grinned at Buffy, "Ain't that right, luv?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice thick with pain. She looked up at the three girls, letting them see her humiliation through her face and her eyes. Her gaze snagged on Angel's, and the look on his face made her heart soar. It was then that she realized a second reason for this humiliation.

He pulled her hair a bit, pulling her head from side to side, "Should I let you go, pet, or should I play with you a bit more? You know how I-"

Through the whole thing, Angel had been stewing. She had chosen Spike over him. Why the hell did she choose Spike over him? And then, the banter. He knew both were known for their banter, but did it have to have so much innuendo? And did he have to drag on her hair, her beautiful, long hair?

Something inside him snapped, and he was on the insolent younger vampire in an instant. "Don't you touch her! Don't you ever touch her!" he yelled, his momentum dragging them both into the wall, where he repeatedly bashed Spike's head off the cement so hard he was leaving dents.

The girls gasped, shocked at what the mild mannered Angel was doing. Even Gunn was shaken. He had seen the vampires get into it once or twice over the past year, but he had never seen Angel so…possessive over anyone. Faith bit her lip, just slightly worried Buffy and Spike had pushed it too far. Only Connor didn't show any change in emotion. He knew what his father was capable of, knew the feelings running through his veins, fueling his anger, because he had once felt them as well, though he thought he had never felt it so strong.

Angel's hands were around Spike's neck, strangling him though it wouldn't have effect. Between smashing him against the wall, he jammed his knee into the vampire's stomach, repeating over and over that Spike had no right to touch Buffy, to taint her.

"This is how fast, strong, and unpredictable a vampire can be. Don't get caught off guard, or it will cost you your life," Buffy said from her knees, where she had dropped when Spike had let go of her hair, not wanting to drag her backwards as Angel grabbed him. She wiped her lip, pushing herself to her feet. She walked over to the angered vampire, and gently put a hand on his arm, pulling him away from Spike. Spike dropped to the ground, panting, as Angel stared at Buffy.

"You used me," he accused, and when she didn't say anything, he stormed off. A moment later, they heard a resounding crash of a door being slammed shut.

Everyone didn't move for a moment, staring at one another, uncertain of what had just happened. But then everyone started to move as one, as Buffy ran out of the room to talk to Angel, Faith ran to Spike to see how he fared, and the girls slowly milled about, talking to each other in hushed whispers. Connor and Gunn helped Faith help Spike to his feet, and then helped to lead him to his room, before leaving, knowing the slayer would enjoy playing nursemaid.

Buffy knocked twice on the closed door she knew to be Angel's. When there was no answer, she twisted the knob, it turned in her hand. She let herself in to find herself staring at his back as he stood at the curtained window.

"How could you do that?" he asked softly, and she took a deep breath, willing herself to not cry at his harsh tone.

"It had to be done," she said, her tone matching his. There was none of the whispery breath he had heard on the phone, no traces of the girl he had once known. The woman in his room was professional and businesslike.

"You could have told me, could have let me in on what was going on. You played me for a fool, first choosing him, and then used my feelings against me. How could you do that to me?"

"I'm sorry," she said softly, taking a few steps towards him. She hadn't taken the time to think about how Angel would feel about the plan. She knew he would be jealous of her and Spike, and she knew he would protect her, but she hadn't expected this. "I'm really sorry."

"I know that you were with Spike," he had turned and she could clearly see the pain on his face, "I don't want to know the details, and to have it thrown in my face like that…is that how it's going to be, are you going to choose him over me?" he asked.

It was the final straw. The emotional dam she had built over the years broke as she propelled herself towards him, literally throwing herself into his arms, her lips on his as if she hadn't seen him in centuries as the tears streamed down her face.

.End.


	13. Anything But What We Want

Episode 6.13:  
Anything But What We Want  
By Rebecca and Karen

Angel staggered as Buffy's full weight was thrown upon him, her lips attaching to his. Not that he was complaining. He was more than happy to wrap his arms around her petite body, drawing her as close as possible, losing himself in the kiss. As the seconds passed quickly and turned into minutes, the kiss slowly ended. As they pulled away Buffy, panting heavily, said, "Hi." Tears were still running amply down her face.

Angel slowly wiped them away with his hands, "You okay?" he asked softly.

"It's nothing, just nothing," Buffy answered. Pulling away and sitting on the bed she put her hand to her head and fell back in exhaustion, "God, do you know how long it's been since I've really slept?"

"I'm guessing a really long time," he laughed softly. It'd been a long time since he'd laughed. "Buffy what's going on with you?" Angel said quietly as he leaned against the wall on the other side of the room.

"Angel just don't worry about it," Buffy said, exasperated. She closed her eyes for a moment and just savored the feeling of having him near again. Every fiber of her being hummed in recognition, after all this time she still knew when he was in the room.

Angel grew quiet. He pushed himself off the wall and walked to the door, "You go to sleep. I have some things to do downstairs." He looked back when she didn't answer. He smiled when he realized that she had passed out on his bed. Shaking his head in amusement he went out the door, closing it softly behind him. He slowly made his way down the staircase. As he reached the training area he saw a girl standing in the middle of the room with the others around her. Her long black hair hung down her back in loose ringlets and her olive skin was covered in a silky sheen of sweat. "Who are you?"

The girl turned and her eyes held a questioning glance, "Are you Angel?"

"Yes that's the bloody poof," Spike said, leaning against the wall, his eye black and his nose bleeding.

"Hi, I'm Alyson, I suppose Buffy told you about me?" Alyson said extending her hand for a handshake. She spoke with a slight lilt in her voice that came from years of living in Houston.

"No she didn't. So I guess you're a slayer…" Angel said.

"Yeah…" she said, smiling brightly, "You know you have a nest out there?" She pointed behind her. "I kinda just got here. Spike showed me in and apparently I'm here to help you I guess. Though I'm not quite sure on all the specifics, but could you just tell me where I'm going to sleep. I'm kinda tired."

"Umm yeah. Briana can you show her a room?" Angel asked. He was still trying to process everything. "Wait, why did they send you here?"

Alyson shrugged, "Why don't you ask Buffy 'cause honestly all I do is show up where people tell me to. Doesn't mean I like it, but I have a duty to perform so what can I do?" She smiled resignedly.

"I'm Bri," Briana said, waving in recognition. "I saw you training with Buffy sometimes, but we never talked." She gestured for her to follow.

Alyson fell into step beside the younger girl, "Yeah I remember you, you used to always get in trouble for talking too much." She laughed, "And it's not surprising that we never talked, I mean there are two hundred plus girls there, it's hard to know everybody."

"Very true," Briana said, laughing. "You'll like it here. It's never boring."

"Thank God for that. Girl needs some excitement in her life after a year of training," Alyson said.

"I know, right?" Briana said as they approached the door to a room. "Here it is," she said, "My room is right over there," she said pointing to the door across the hall. Smiling brightly she headed back to the training room.

"Thanks hon." Alyson waved good-bye to Briana and dropped her massive duffel bag. Opening it she took out a picture of her two half sisters, McKennan and Laura, and put it on the dresser next to the bed. She looked at their smiling faces and felt a pain of longing. Alyson quickly pushed the feeling away, that wasn't her life anymore and they were safe, taking care of each other, without her. Sighing she fell on the bed and promptly fell asleep

--

"You're a bloody idiot Peaches," Spike said as he wiped the blood from his nose. "You've got a beautiful girl up there who bloody loves you and you're down here being all broody."

"Shut up Spike," Angel said quietly.

"What? Hitting a little too close to home am I?" Spike spit tauntingly as he circled them, "Jealous 'cause I got a pair?"

"Jealous cause Buffy doesn't love you?" Angel spat.

Spike laughed and shook his head, "Nah I've got something better right here." He put his arm around Faith and kissed her. "I'm great."

"Shut up Spike," Angel repeated.

"No I'm tired of shutting up. I think I'll keep talking." He cupped his hand around his ear, "What's that?" He seemed to be straining to hear something, "I'm talking! What a miracle! Angel said something and it didn't happen. I guess he isn't such a big bad after all. No he's just a harmless fanged puppy, but I'm pretty sure the fangs have gone soft so just a harmless puppy then. Poor puppy did they neuter you? Can't sniff the other dog's butts anymore?"

Angel strode over to Spike so that he was standing in his face, "Shut up, Spike." He was losing his patience, actually he'd lost his patience around the puppy bit. Forgetting any notion of leniency he had he drew his hand back and punched Spike square in the mouth.

Spike's head snapped back as his lip busted, causing blood to run down his face. He quickly wiped it away as he vamped out, launching himself at Angel. He tackled him and sat on his chest while he vigorously punched his face, "I could of lost my bloody teeth with that punch you just pulled. Are you trying to ruin my looks? Don't be jealous because I'm more dashing than you mate. Wha-" Spike felt hands wrap around his arms and drag him away from Angel, "Bloody hell Faith, we were just having a little fun."

"Fun isn't exactly what I'd call it," Faith answered wryly, still restraining him.

Spike struggled against her grip unsuccessfully, "You know Slayer, if you're into this kinda thing I got handcuffs up in the room."

"Yeah, big boy, we can try that later. I ain't doing nothing til you've cleaned up," Faith said leading him out of the room.

"Hmm, and this cleaning up, will it involve you and soap?" Spike asked looking behind him at Faith's face.

Faith smiled and laughed, "Only if you're lucky."

Spike turned and his face hit the wall, "Bloody Hell Faith, are you trying to kill me?"

"No, that was your fault," Faith said, trying to propel him to the door.

"How was that my fault?" Spike asked as they exited the training area; the others heard them bickering as they made their way to their rooms.

"Dad, are you okay?" Connor asked quietly. His eyes danced in amusement at what had just occurred.

Gunn walked over and clapped Angel on the back, "He's fine, he just got his ass kicked. Right Angel?" Angel narrowed his eyes at Gunn and growled. Gunn slowly backed away and said, "Guess not."

As Angel stalked out of the room Sarah looked from Gunn to Connor to Briana, "Can't they just grow up? I mean, they always do this. It's immature."

"Yeah, but entertaining," Connor said, looking on the bright side.

"How is that entertaining? They are behaving like complete animals, not like the grown men they are supposed to be," Sarah said looking at him with raised eyebrows. She had long ago stopped thinking of them as vampires.

Briana looked at her and rolled her eyes, frankly she was getting tired of all this prim and properness. "Okay then I'm going to bed." She turned on her heel and sighed. She wasn't getting tired of Sarah's behavior, she was just tired of Sarah. "'Night."

Gunn looked around and after a long silence he said, "Well then there you go. I'm going to bed." He looked back at Connor and Sarah and nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"So I guess I'll be going now," Connor said, shuffling his feet, but making no intention of going.

"Goodnight," Sarah said as she walked away. "Connor," she said turning around.

"Yeah?" Connor asked hopefully.

"You don't think I'm too uptight do you?" she said as she walked toward him.

"Of course," Connor said.

"Thanks," Sarah said, hanging her head resignedly. She headed off to bed, leaving Connor alone in the training area.

"Damn it," Connor said kicking the wall.

"You have no idea how to read women do you?" Angel asked wryly from the doorway. He had been outside checking out the now extinguished vampire's nest and happened to hear Sarah talking to Connor as he reentered the basement.

Connor looked at him and scowled, "Shut up."

"Fine I was just going to give you some advice," Angel said as he walked to the punching bag and began to box with it.

"Well I don't need your advice. I've had plenty of girlfriends thank you and I'm doing just fine now," Connor replied, his face turning red.

"Okay then," Angel replied as Connor left the room. He began to hit the punching bag furiously venting all his frustrations about Buffy and Spike and Connor and this new slayer. Everything seemed to be going any way but the way he wanted it. In his imaginary world Spike would be gagged at all times and Buffy would be his wife and there would be no demons or slayers. But that wasn't his world. It wasn't their world and it never would be. He punched the bag harder and harder. Finally he stopped and slid down the wall. He put his hands on his knees and hung his head.

"You look about the same way I feel after work," a voice said from the entrance.

Angel looked up. Buffy stood there with two cups of coffee, "Want to join me?"

"Yeah," Angel said as he got up and walked to the lobby. "I thought you were asleep."

Buffy laughed harshly, "Yeah me and sleep…we're not so good friends."

"Why?" Angel asked sipping the coffee. He couldn't really taste it but he drank it out of courtesy.

Buffy looked at the mug and realized her mistake, "Oh my god! Angel I'm so sorry. I'll go get you some blood."

Angel smiled appreciatively and watched her as she disappeared into the kitchen. When she came back he smiled and took the cup, "Thanks. So about the sleeping…"

"Yeah, acute insomnia. Comes in handy I guess. Really sucks though, I mean I never really get a break from life. The only way I sleep is if I get a sedative… and me and drugs don't like each other. I don't want to make my body do anything it doesn't want to do. So how are the girl's adjusting?" she asked quickly, changing the course of conversation.

"I think they're doing okay. I mean Briana talks a bit much and Sarah's a little too proper, but I think they're doing great. Jade just doesn't talk much, she's quiet," Angel replied as he sipped the blood.

"Yeah, there's another slayer coming, her name's Alyson. She's really good, I should know I trained her myself," Buffy said slowly.

"Yeah I met her. Thanks for warning me," Angel said smiling slightly.

"What was there to warn about? You're a bit in over your head here," Buffy said sipping her coffee slowly.

"Yeah, but you still could've warned me…what if I'd tried to kill her?" Angel asked.

Buffy raised her eyebrow and smiled, "You know you wouldn't've."

"But still," Angel replied.

She looked at him, her eyes haunted, "What happened to you? The Angel I knew never would have joked about killing anybody, much less a slayer."

He sighed, "Let's just say I've changed, we both have." She turned away from him so he wouldn't see the pain on her face, but he did. He saw past the mask she wore to the pain and the exhaustion, and he hated what he saw there. "You should really try to get some sleep."

"I've tried," she turned back to him, her face contorted in anger and frustration. "Nothing works!" she told him, lied to him. Something did work, when she fell asleep in someone's arms, and in her sleep depravity she convinced herself it was his arms. But she wouldn't tell him that, she hadn't done that in months.

"Please, try again. For me," he saw a flicker of hope in her eyes, there just a fraction of a second, gone so fast he thought he had imagined it, "It's late," he told her, "Alyson's in our guest room, so you can sleep in my bed."

"Where will you sleep?" she asked.

"Don't worry about me. I'm more worried about you. I sleep just fine, like the dead, I've been told," the hints of a smile turned up the edges of his lips, but when she didn't smile, he let it slip away. "Come on," he said quietly, taking hold of her arm and leading her towards his room. It startled him that she didn't fight back; she followed him, completely docile, demure, words he had never before thought of in context of the brilliant, vibrant blonde next to him. In that moment, he hated that he had been right, they had both changed.

Once they made it to his room, he dug through his dresser to find her suitable clothing for bed. He hadn't seen a bag when she had come in, but then he hadn't been focusing on more than just her. Even now, as he pulled out one of his white t-shirts, he couldn't help but imagine her in the cotton shirt, it being long, probably falling at least halfway to her knees, not wearing a bra…

He quickly shook the images of her from his mind, knowing they were headed towards a place he could not afford them to go. There was no doubt in his mind that he didn't still love her, that his body didn't react to her nearness. But now, more so than ever before, he knew he couldn't think like that, because thinking like that would lead them to a place they couldn't go, even if his soul wasn't a problem, because he would never take advantage of her. And catching a quick glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye, swaying, half asleep on her feet, he knew that's what it would be, if he even touched her, he would be taking advantage of her.

Silently he handed her the t-shirt, pointing towards the bathroom. Within minutes, he heard the shower running, and he sat down in a chair with a sigh, biting his lip. He couldn't help but think that Buffy was in his shower, naked. If he didn't find something else to think about, he just might find himself in there with her…

Shaking himself, he reached into his bedside table, where he kept his worse for wear sketch pad and a pencil. Before he knew it, he lost himself in his drawing, a scene he found in his mind many times, from the day that never was, Buffy, asleep in his large bed, with sun streaming through the high window to highlight her hair.

He was so engrossed in his drawing that he jumped when a hand gently placed itself on his shoulder. "B-Buffy!" he said, startled, sounding like a child caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

"That's really good. I forgot that you could…" a flash of pain marred her pretty features for a second before she locked it away, and he wanted to kill himself for getting caught, for causing her to remember those dark months after her birthday…

She walked away from him giving herself time to recompose herself after seeing how lovingly he gazed at her image on the page he had been caressing with his pencil. She climbed into the large bed as she heard him behind her, putting the sketchpad in a drawer. Finally ready to face him, she sat in the middle of the large bed, the covers tucked over her lap.

He looked up at her, dwarfed by the bed, looking so much paler than he remembered her. He looked at her a moment, mourning the girl she had once been. Then he smiled at her, hoping to see some sort of smile grace her face, but it didn't, "Lie down," he told her softly, and she complied. He bent over the bed and tucked the blanket over her shoulders, and impulsively kissed her forehead, "Get some sleep."

He turned away, and he could hear her sitting up, shedding the covers, "Angel," she started, and he turned back to her.

"I'm not going anywhere," he told her, instinctively knowing her fears.

She bit her lip, "Stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?" she asked, and he nodded without thinking, turning to switch off the light. He slipped off his shoes without untying them like he always did before climbing onto the bed and taking her into his arms. She snuggled into him and yawned, soon slipping off to sleep as he watched her in the darkness. As she fell asleep, she wrapped an arm loosely around his waist, and smiled. As if he'd be able to tear himself away from this, he thought as he watched her sleep.

But a tiny voice inside his head told him this wouldn't last, couldn't last.

.END.


	14. Slayer

Episode 6.14  
**Slayer  
**By Maddy

"What do you mean, 'they've been kidnapped'?" asked a frantic Sarah; she looked fleetingly around the room as though they might miraculously appear and it would have been some sick and twisted joke. She had been resting in her room and had missed all the action. And had no idea what was going on, or why.

"Gee," snapped Jade. "Like it means. They got themselves taken; I don't know completely what went down. Faith made me hide."

"Her horrible speaking habits are beginning to rub off on you," Sarah pointed out, facing off with the younger Slayer.

"Whoa, hold it you guys," jumped in Bri.

Alyson nodded in agreement. "We need to calm down and think of some way to help them. No need to worry." The look on the newcomer's face was telling them otherwise. There was something to worry about: Faith, Angel and Gunn were missing, feared kidnapped and Spike and Connor were missing, feared dead. Alyson was obviously trying to keep the others calm and unfortunately it wasn't working.

"Our leaders and most experienced warriors have all gotten themselves in dire trouble. I believe there is reason to worry…and panic," Sarah said as she walked over to the large cabinet that Angel loved. She pulled open the doors of the weapons cabinet and began assessing which weapons they would use to rescue the others.

Alyson stepped up next to Sarah. "I know you're worried about Connor, but I'm-"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sarah asked, looking at the Slayer sharply.

"Nothing."

"Good." Sarah returned her attention to the weapons before her. "Good."

Alyson smiled slightly and forced the smile from becoming a grin. "Okay, then." She turned and left Sarah to her weapons and worrying. As soon as Alyson had left her side, Sarah let out a small sigh of relief, but she bit her lip upon realizing that her feelings for Connor may be more obvious then she would like. She hoped Connor hadn't noticed.

The weapons in the cabinet varied in size and durability, this was of little consequence to the Slayers as they were all, with the exception of Jade, well trained in the use of nearly all weapons. Sarah took charge as she did in most aspects of her life and the others didn't mind following. For the moment.

Minutes later armed to the teeth, the four young women walked out into Los Angeles to find their missing friends.

_What do you do when the world is handed to you?_

**That morning**

The happiness that Angel felt wasn't there when he woke up; Buffy was no longer by his side. Frowning, Angel moved to the dresser and changed into a new set of clothes, he needed to go shopping. God forbid anyone know I'm thinking about shopping, thought the vampire smiling to himself. With his heightened vampire hearing, Angel knew the majority of his crew were already downstairs, once dressed he joined his new family.

Buffy greeted him first, smiling ever so slightly as he walked up next to her. "Good morning."

"Good morning."

"I'm leaving today."

Angel nodded, saddened but not surprised. Now was not their time. She was needed elsewhere and he was needed here. The world owns us right now. "When?"

"Um…" She looked around for a clock and when she couldn't find one, scrunched up her face in concentration. He loved that face. "My flights at 12:35. So whenever that is that's when I'm leaving."

"Quick visit." He commented, taking a seat next to her on the circular lounge. "You know you're welcome to stay long-"

"I know I am." She rushed. "But I have to be getting back." They both knew she was lying and although they both wanted her to stay now wasn't the time.

"Okay, we'll have someone take you-"

"Oh, please. I'm the – I'm a Slayer. I can handle myself. Even with the mini war zone you're living in. How's that going by the way?"

Angel shrugged, but was happy that the conversation had drifted into more comfortable territory. "No one patrols alone. The girls have to have me, Spike, Gunn or Connor with them. Even Faith. I know she doesn't like the plan, but Slayers are the main target, right?"

"Right."

"Places are either rundown, destroyed or abandoned. Some suburbs are worse than others. The demons had a field day. Or several." He laughed bitterly. "And I'm responsible."

Buffy's eyes widened in alarm. "No, you're not."

"Yes, Buffy. I am. We are. Wesley, Gunn, Spike and I did this." He looked out towards the garden behind the hotel. "We started this war."

Buffy remained silent, Angel wanted her to keep on insisting that he wasn't responsible, that there was no way he could have known a war would have begun that night, but she didn't. Angel was glad; he didn't want to be lied to. Instead, she took his hand and squeezed it tightly.

_What do you do when you know the happiness won't last?_

"What are you two doing?" asked Sarah as she walked out of her room and discovered Briana and Jade hiding behind the banisters and looking down over the foyer. "Are you spying on Angel and Buffy?"

"No!" answered Briana much to quickly and loudly for it to be the actual truth.

"Sure." Answered Sarah. "I believe you."

"Quiet," Jade said, hushing them both. Sarah rolled her eyes and walked down the stairs to the lobby. The youngest Slayers watched her greet Buffy and Angel as she walked past. "What's Sarah doing down there anyway?" Jade continued, "I mean, it's not like we have food or anything interesting in the lobby."

"Except Angel and Buffy," pointed out Briana.

"Except that," agreed Jade. "They do provide some much needed distraction. Not much to do here except fight demons and be bored."

"And we haven't even been fighting demons. Just been bored."

"Right," Jade nodded, turning her attention back to the couple on the weird shaped sofa. They weren't talking anymore, just sitting there…being boring. "Yeah, where did Sarah go?"

"In the office," answered Briana, not missing a beat. She had only known Jade for a few weeks, but they had already developed a good relationship. Briana was sometimes jealous of the time Jade spent with Faith. Briana didn't want to spend time with Faith, but with Jade. She was closest to Briana's age and a complete opposite to Sarah, whom she spent a lot of time with.

"Didn't Connor go in there in few minutes ago?"

"Yeah…" replied Briana, drawing out the word. Her eyes lit up, "you don't think something is going on between him and Sarah, do you?"

"Be weird if there was," Jade answered, taking her eyes off Angel and Buffy, they still aren't doing anything worth spying on. "Sarah's all posh and uptight…and Connor's…" she fought for the right word. "Not," she finished lamely. "I don't see it." And I don't want to see it.

"Me neither," mumbled Briana, turning her back on the lobby and resting against the railing. She fidgeted with her hands, "but if it'll turn her into a real person, I say go for it."

"Who's going for what?"

Jade and Briana both jumped as they saw that Buffy and Angel had silently sneaked up on the younger Slayers and were standing by the top of the stairs looking very pleased with themselves.

"Nothing, nothing," said Jade, trying to keep her face free of any guilty looks.

"We were just talking," added Briana, scrambling to get to her feet. "I'll see you later."

Jade smiled and ran after Briana leaving Buffy and Angel to laugh quietly amongst themselves.

"They're quite a pair," commented Buffy, still smiling.

"I wouldn't really know about that."

"Why not?" she asked becoming serious.

Angel shrugged dismissively. "I don't socialize with the girls. My fault, I guess."

"You're going to have to change that."

Angel nodded and folded his arms across his chest. "I know. I know."

"Is there something going on between Sarah and Connor?" asked Buffy.

"I think Connor wants there to be. I don't know what's happening on Sarah's end though."

"Another attempt at non-socializing?"

"No, because it would be weird."

Buffy laughed and Angel's heart warmed at the act. At least I know she can still laugh and that I can be the cause of it. In a good way, not a bad way…

"You're still a guy so I shouldn't expect too much from you."

"On behalf of my gender, 'hey'."

She laughed again. Her eyes sparkled and for an instant she was the girl he used to know all those years ago. Sometimes he wished she would come back and other times he was glad Buffy had grown up into the woman she was: strong willed and independent.

"It's good to see you laugh."

"It's good to laugh," Buffy admitted. "Don't do it as much, I'm afraid."

"Why's that?" Angel asked, genuinely interested in her life. She shrugged and tried to smile reassuringly but failed. Angel frowned but didn't press the issue. As much as I would love to, I don't think I have the right anymore. I haven't had the right for a long time. So instead of talking about their feelings and their lives apart from each other, the vampire slayer and vampire stood in silence while the rest of the Hotel woke up around them.

--

Faith didn't like it when Spike woke up first, she was her most vulnerable when she was asleep, her guard was down and anyone could 'attack.' Call it old insecurities but Faith still didn't completely trust a living soul and the only non-living one she did trust was Angel. Spike hasn't gained my trust yet. Faith frowned as she watched her lover sleep soundly beside her, I wonder if he's thinking about her now? Quit it, Faith, she chided herself, she had finally thought herself free from the jealousy of Buffy that had…well let's say it wasn't pretty.

Faith quietly left the bed, taking a new set of clothes with her and changed in the bathroom. Once finished changing clothes she left the old ones in a pile on the bathroom floor and snuck out of their room and headed towards the lobby. Being the – a – Slayer has definitely helped me sneak out of a lot of rooms in the past and here I'd hoped things had changed.

"Morning, Faith," greeted Sarah as Faith reached the main floor of the Hyperion Hotel, the older slayer raised her eyebrows at Miss Goody Two Shoes. What's put her in such a lovely mood? But her question was answered almost immediately.

"Hi, Faith."

"Connor," She said in way of a reply, a small smile playing on her lips. "Morning, Sarah."

The British Slayer nodded slightly in response. "What would you like for breakfast? Connor and I were thinking about going and getting some real food instead of what rubbish we have here."

"Hey!" both Connor and Faith exclaimed.

"I helped buy that rubbish," continued Faith.

"So did I," added Connor.

Sarah sighed, "You didn't buy anything. You took it. Which is what I'm planning on doing-"

"Who's planning what?" asked Gunn, curious that they were already up to something this early in the day. The former lawyer walked next to Faith and dug his hands in his pockets. "So what are we doing?"

"Crime," deadpanned Connor.

"Oh. Okay." Gunn looked between Sarah and Faith. "What's the crime?"

"Food," answered Sarah before Faith could. "Connor and I are going to get us some food – better food – and I want to know what everyone would like for breakfast."

"Sweet. That food wasn't very good."

"Hey!" cried Connor and Faith again.

"You do something for a guy and look what happens," muttered Connor. Gunn found the whole thing quite amusing, but decided it was probably best to change the subject.

"Anyone seen the new girl today?" asked Gunn looking around the lobby. The others either shook their head or said no. "I'll get Bri or Jade to check on her."

"I'll do it," offered Faith, "I wanted to see how Jade's feeling anyway." The brunette slayer took their lack of response as the go-ahead and walked back up the stairs. "Maybe we should go to a doctor…" she said softly to herself as she neared the top of the stairs.

"Thinking out loud, F?"

"Whoa," Faith jumped slightly as Buffy and Angel stepped out of the shadows. "Stealthy."

"It happens," quipped the blonde Slayer.

Faith nodded slowly trying to assess what was going on in front of her. Buffy and Angel…alone in the dark…am I the only one that sees the bad there? "What are you guys doing?"

"Just talking. I'll be leaving soon," explained Buffy, Angel remained standing with his arms crossed over his chest. The vampire hadn't said a word.

"I thought you said that didn't need you for a while?" inquired Faith, taking the final steps to the second level, keeping her eyes on Angel as his faced filled with shock for just a moment. Maybe the broody one didn't remember his lady love saying that part.

"They don't. But I do have stuff there I have to do. It's not all about demons and apocalypses."

"I know that." I totally know that. Here I am worried about the welfare of some kid. We're living in crazy times. "I'm going to check on Jade and see what's happened to that Alyson chick."

"Sure," answered Buffy.

"When are you blowing this-?"

"My flight's at 12:35," answered Buffy, knowing what Faith was planning on asking. Faith just gave a slight nod and walked past the couple. No, don't think of them as that. That road leads to much confusion. For everyone involved.

Alyson's room wasn't adjoined to anyone else's and was nearest to the stairs so Faith stopped there first. The brunette slayer knocked hard on the other slayer's door, which opened almost instantly.

"Faith, right?" Alyson asked by way of greeting. Faith nodded, Alyson stepped aside and Faith was surprised that the newcomer had already added her homey touches to the otherwise bare room.

"Like what you've done with the place," commented Faith, checking out the pictures on the bedside table and the posters above the bed. "Got a thing for movies?"

"Yeah," answered Alyson stepping up next to Faith. "What's up?"

"Got nominated to check on you."

"Does that happen a lot? Checking on each other I mean."

"We live in a dangerous world right now."

"Haven't we always?"

Faith looked sideways at the newest Slayer to join their ranks. "More now than it used to be, for the L.A people anyway." Faith suddenly remembered why she came up here. It wasn't to chat, see how she is and leave. "You fitting in okay?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Being the new kid and all. Just came to see how you were doing."

"I'm good," Alyson replied moving to sit on her bed. "This should be fun."

"You have no idea how much fun it can be. Be careful what you wish for," advised Faith, knowing full well how bad and how quickly things can turn. "Sarah and Connor are getting everyone breakfast. Go down and tell them what you'd like," Faith said walking towards the door.

"Thanks, honey."

Faith stopped and turned slightly, looking Alyson in the eyes. "And don't call me 'honey.'"

_What do you do when life looks too good to be true?_

After breakfast, which the entire Gang attended, including Buffy, there wasn't much time left before Buffy's flight so she and Angel walked out into the garden to say their goodbyes.

"Goodbye Buffy," said Angel taking the Slayer into his arms. The small blonde let him and rested her head on his chest. The silence was welcome and so very familiar. "Don't be a stranger."

"You know I will," Buffy said smiling as she lifted her head to look into his eyes. "Doesn't mean I won't call, but…"

"I get it." It was just too hard to be around each other, Angel understood why she wanted and had to leave. It hurt too much to stay.

"Become friends with the girls, Angel. They're your link to the real world now. Don't push them away."

"I don't push people away," he replied defending himself. Buffy gave him a look as though to say 'whom do you think you're kidding?' They shared a small smile. "I'll miss you."

Her smiled widened. "I'll miss you too. Kiss for the road?"

Angel stiffened slightly; Cordelia had said pretty much the same thing before he found out she was dead. He nodded and even though Buffy noticed his strange behaviour gladly kissed Angel on the lips. The kiss quickly became more passionate; Buffy moved her fingers through his hair while Angel moved his hands over the small of her back.

"You guys finished?" asked Briana, causing the slayer and vampire to jump apart. Briana smiled and began laughing at the guilty looks on both their faces. "You two are priceless," she sniggered walking back into the lobby of the Hotel. The others were congregating in the lobby waiting for the legendary Slayer to depart.

Buffy hugged Spike tightly and told him to call her once in a while. He promised that he would. Faith told Buffy to not say anything to Robin about her and Spike, Buffy understood, sometimes it was just better to leave things alone.

Buffy said goodbye to the younger Slayers in Wesley's old office, the others were very curious as to what was being said but knew that no one was going to tell them. Gunn said that secrets were never good. Connor said that it wouldn't be anything major, maybe just a pep talk.

Buffy left only minutes later, she caught a cab to the airport and Angel walked up the stairs and locked himself in his room.

"What's wrong with Angel?" asked Alyson, curious to find out about her new family.

"What isn't?" answered Sarah, getting looks from everyone. She didn't back down, look away or leave. "Oh, please. I'm not the only one who thinks so."

It has been generally decided to ignore Sarah when she got snobby, but Connor couldn't help but smile.

_What do you do when people surprise you?_

By nightfall Angel had remerged from his room and began delegating tasks to his crew. He would patrol with Faith and Gunn while Spike and Connor would patrol with Jade, as she needed more field experience. The other Slayers would stay at the Hotel and train.

The objections began immediately.

"I don't see why I have to remain here," said Sarah.

"I don't want to go patrolling," said Jade.

Briana looked happy with her situation, she didn't really want to be put into any danger. But Alyson thought she needed to go patrolling to show them that she was capable.

Spike wanted to patrol with Faith, while Faith wanted to patrol with Jade. Gunn shared Bri's sentiments and couldn't care less about whom he patrolled with, just as long as he got to kill bad guys he was happy.

"Why can't we patrol as a group?" asked Connor.

"Too many of us," answered Angel, not amused at their reactions. "Jade you will be patrolling, you need the experience. End of story. Sarah…don't even get me started with you." Sarah opened her mouth to object but Angel continued talking. "Faith, Jade can come with us. Connor and Spike should be fine with just the two of them. You girls," he said directing his attention to the other young Slayers. "Will stay here and train. I'm not going to be responsible for Slayers getting themselves killed because they got sloppy." He looked around the room, settling his eyes on each of them. "Okay, everyone knows what they're got to do. Get to it."

"Is he always like this when Buffy leaves?" Briana asked Faith, who didn't reply. "So that's a 'yes' then?"

_What do you do when goodbyes are hard to say?_

Several hours later Briana was pacing the floor of the basement training room. "They should be back by now. They've been gone way too long. Sunrise is in-" she checked the time on her wrist watch. "-Six hours. Where are they?"

"Don't know, sweetie," answered Alyson as she returned the long sword to its place on a stand by the wall. It was her favourite weapon and used it to even kill vampires.

"Maybe we should go find them."

"And where would we start looking?" Alyson picked up the nearest towel and began wiping the sweat off her body. "I'm sure they can take care of themselves."

At the moment they heard yelling from the level above them.

"What the?" asked Briana, not thinking twice as she bound up the stairs. Alyson was quick to follow, fear gripping her heart. When they reached to lobby Jade came rushing towards them. She seemed fine so it was obvious the yelling wasn't about her.

"Oh, god. They've been taken," Jade cried, grabbing Alyson by the arms. "Angel, Gunn and Faith have been kidnapped."

"What?" asked a stunned Alyson, denying what Jade had just said. "Kidnapped?"

"What's going on?" asked Sarah running down the stairs, Jade let go of Alyson, who was happy to have her arms back, and ran towards Sarah.

"They've been taken and Spike and Connor could be seriously hurt," explained Jade.

"Wait. What?" asked Alyson. "Start from the beginning, honey."

"Okay," nodded Jade. "We were all together 'cause we were on our way back to the Hotel when we got jumped by a big group of demons and vampires. Faith made me hide, which I happily did and I watched the fight from behind some garbage cans. Well, Angel, Gunn and Faith were all badly hurt and knocked unconscious. Spike and Connor were still fighting them when Spike told me to run back here."

"They've been kidnapped?" asked Bri. "How do you know?"

"Because I saw them get dragged away," answered Jade, the young Slayer sighed and sat down on the lounge.

"What do you mean, 'they've been kidnapped'?" asked a frantic Sarah; she looked fleetingly around the room as though they might miraculously appear and it would have been some sick and twisted joke. She had been resting in her room and had missed all the action. And had no idea what was going on, or why.

"Gee," snapped Jade. "Like it means. They got themselves taken; that's what went down. Faith made me hide."

"Her horrible speaking habits are beginning to rub off on you," Sarah pointed out, facing off with the younger Slayer.

"Whoa, hold it you guys," Briana jumped in.

Alyson nodded in agreement. "We need to calm down and think of some way to help them. No need to worry." The look on the newcomer's face was telling them otherwise. There was something to worry about: Faith, Angel and Gunn were missing, feared kidnapped and Spike and Connor were missing, feared dead. Alyson was obviously trying to keep the others calm and unfortunately it wasn't working.

"Our leaders and most experienced warriors have all gotten themselves in dire trouble. I believe there is reason to worry…and panic," said Sarah as she walked over to the large cabinet that Angel loved. She pulled open the doors of the weapons cabinet and began assessing which weapons they would use to rescue the others.

Alyson stepped up next to Sarah. "I know you're worried about Connor, but I'm-"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sarah asked, looking at the Slayer sharply.

"Nothing."

"Good." Sarah returned her attention to the weapons before her. "Good."

Alyson smiled slightly and forced the smile from becoming a grin. "Okay, then." She turned and left Sarah to her weapons and worrying. As soon as Alyson had left her side, Sarah let out a small sigh of relief, but she bit her lip upon realising that her feelings for Connor may be more obvious then she would like. She hoped Connor hadn't noticed.

The weapons in the cabinet varied in size and durability, this was of little consequence to the Slayers as they were all, with the exception of Jade, well trained in the use of nearly all weapons. Sarah took charge as she did in most aspects of her life and the others didn't mind following. For the moment.

Minutes later armed to the teeth, the four young women walked out into Los Angeles to find their missing friends.

_What do you do when they need a leader?_

_------------_

**Slayer Part Two**

"I only got here yesterday and look what's already happened," stated Alyson taking the lead with Sarah, Jade was sticking close to Briana just a few steps behind the older two. "You know, I didn't mean to say something I shouldn't have. Well, not many people say things they shouldn't, so let me re-word that-"

"It's okay. Really. I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine," Alyson said, noticing how tense and rigid Sarah was walking.

"No, honestly, I'm fine." She looked down at the broadsword in her hand. "I just want to find them."

Alyson nodded and decided it was best to change the subject. "Sure, sweetie." This girl is uptight, that's for damn sure. Maybe I should just be quiet. The nineteen year old turned her attention to the girls behind her. "You two okay back there?"

"Yep," answered Bri in her usual bubbly voice. Doesn't she ever get sad or depressed? She's a walking ad for Prozac.

"All's good from here. You seen anything?" asked Jade, stepping into her role as a slayer more and more each day.

"No. Not a thing," admitted Sarah, stopping suddenly. "I don't even know what I'm looking for."

"Well neither do we," added Bri. "We should stop walking around without a clue and come up with some sort of-" she stopped talking, the older Slayers, both perplexed by her sudden silence turned to face Briana.

"What's wrong, honey?" asked Alyson, taking a few small steps towards the Slayer who's eyes were wide with fear. Jade was sharing the same expression, the eldest Slayers shared a worried glance until Jade lifted her hand and pointed behind the older girls and across the street. Alyson and Sarah turned and followed where Jade was pointing. Alyson realized what it was first. Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open and she looked at Sarah, who's puzzled face suddenly and almost violently filled with recognition. Alyson attempted to stop Sarah, but she was too fast for Alyson to catch her.

"Sarah, no!" Alyson yelled running after the distraught Slayer. Briana and Jade shared a look before running after them. Bri muttering about how this was a very bad idea. Alyson agreed. "It could be a trap!"

"I don't care!" yelled back Sarah as she neared the footpath. She stopped at the base of the light pole, staring up at what had been haphazardly tied up with ropes. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, but she knew it was true. She reached out and had her hand pulled away by Alyson.

"Are you really that stupid?"

Sarah shook her hand away. "Are you? Do you seriously think they would d-do this-" she looked back up, took a deep breath then returned to yelling at the Slayer. "And leave him to be a trap, they would have no idea where we'd go. They did this just because they could. And I'm getting him down."

"Who's they?" asked a scared Jade. Briana looked sideways at Jade, not knowing how to comfort her. "Why would they do this?"

"I don't know who they are and I don't give a damn." Sarah once again reached up and once again had her hand pulled away Alyson.

"Well, I do give a damn. I give a damn about you, and Bri and Jade. I don't care if you do or not, but I will not let you risk our lives, Sarah, he might not even be alive-"

"S-Sarah…"

"Oh, god." Sarah pulled her hand free and Alyson was in too much shock to stop her from reaching up and touching Connor's jeans leg. "It'll be alright, we'll get you down. How are we going to get him down?" she asked Alyson and the others. It was dark in the street, this seemed to be one of the worse hit ones. It was nearly void of any light; even with their heightened senses it was hard to make out anything that would be of use to them. Connor groaned and Sarah paled even more. "We have to get him down."

"Okay…" replied Alyson, trying to think fast. "Okay. This is what we'll do. I'll go around to the other side and hoist Bri up to cut the ropes."

"With what?" asked Sarah. All three stared at her for a moment before Sarah realised how stupid that sounded.

"Bri," said Alyson moving behind the pole.

"Coming." Bri followed and took hold of her axe firmly in her grip. "This shouldn't be too difficult."

"Now, Sarah and Jade you get ready to catch him," instructed Alyson.

Neither looked too happy about that.

"Catch him!" cried Sarah. "He's badly hurt, we can't catch him." She forced herself to look at his extensive injuries. Blood was seeping from underneath his battered shirt and his face was covered in cuts and bruises.

"I don't think I can catch a person that's been tied to a pole," said Jade. "Doesn't sound easy and it doesn't sound right."

"Nothing about this is right," said Sarah softly, taking her eyes off Connor. "We'll ease him down instead."

"Whatever works, do it," said Alyson as she hoisted the small Briana to where the ropes were tying Connor to the pole. "You okay?"

"Sure. I'm dandy," quipped Bri, taking the axe and slowly began cutting away at the ropes. All the while Sarah was whispering to Connor that it was going to be okay and Jade stood motionless. She was staring death in the face. Connor could die, he most probably wouldn't because of his vampire parentage but he was still badly injured and slowly bleeding to death. Death. Her brother had died, he died alone and scared. She wondered if Connor had been scared before they showed up.

"Jade! I need your help now," called Sarah, snapping Jade out of her reverie. "You get the other side."

Slowly and carefully Sarah and Jade lowered Connor to the ground, as they laid him across the pavement, Alyson and Bri joined them.

"How is he?" asked Bri.

"I-I I'm not entirely sure," stammered Sarah as she got a better look at his wounds. They made her stomach turn, Alyson noticed and reached out to examine Connor's wounds instead. Sarah smiled gratefully and took hold of one of Connor's hands. "Connor, can you hear me?"

"Sure," he replied, his voice shaky and weak, his eyes were still closed. "Hear everybody."

"Okay, okay. That's good." She thought for a moment. "It is good right?" she said, asking Alyson while the younger Slayers looked on.

"Hearing is never a bad thing, unless of course you don't like what you hear. But hearing is good." Alyson lifted up Connor's shirt, she visibly flinched at the sight of the blood seeping from his skin and the dirt and grime that was stuck to his chest. There's too much blood. "We have to get him to a hospital. Now."

Sarah let go of Connor's hand and stood up. "If we go now, we can be back out looking for the others before the sun comes up."

"Yes, we could. But we're not. I mean you're not," Alyson said. "Honey, you're going to stay with him at the hospital. We can handle it."

"No. I can't do that."

"Aly's right," cut in Briana, "you're mind won't be on the job, it'll be on him. We can get them back."

"Okay," Sarah responded, not taking her eyes off Connor's still form.

"Come on, let's go," said Briana as she attempted to get Connor on his feet. "A little help here."

Jade hesitated before moving to help her fallen friend. Why does Sarah get to stay with him? Why can't I stay and she can go find the others? She shook herself slightly, realizing how selfish she was sounding. Now isn't the time, Jade. The young Slayer knelt down next to the others and together they got Connor to his feet.

_What do you do when there is nothing left?_

Not even an hour later Alyson, Briana and Jade walked out of the hospital and towards where they had hid their weapons. Sarah had told them to take her sword as she wouldn't need it and they might. Although none of them felt entirely comfortable with only three of them out looking and possibly rescuing the others, they knew there was no other way to go. Someone had to stay with him and no one had the guts to tell Sarah that someone wouldn't be her. Even though Jade didn't like it. She wanted to stay behind with Connor and even got into an argument with Alyson about it.

"Here you go." Jade knelt down and removed the tree branches that had been hiding their mini-arsenal. Jade handed Bri her axe and Alyson her long sword. Jade picked up the crossbow and handed Sarah's broadsword to Briana.

"Sweet, I'm loaded to the hilt," said Briana admiring her weapons. Jade and Alyson rolled their eyes at Briana's bad joke. "We sure about leaving Sarah with Connor?"

"Oh, yeah," answered Alyson. "We're sure, sweetie." That seemed to satisfy Briana who remained unnervingly quiet.

"We have to go," said Jade, taking the lead. The three Slayers began the search for their friends. I still don't see why Sarah got to be the one to stay with Connor. I should have stayed with him, not her! I care about him too. Ever since her brother died, she needed Connor and Faith more and more, she only trusted them. And she trusted Connor more than Faith because last Jade knew Connor hadn't killed people. Jade knew it was a little unfair to Faith, but that's not something that just goes away.

_What do you do when the world is stripped away?_

Sarah had to argue with the nurses to let her stay in the room with Connor. Stupid women! It wasn't until Connor told them that she had to stay was Sarah allowed.

Connor's skin was pale but free of blood and dirt. His chest had been bandaged, along with a large cut on his right leg. The doctor didn't say enough times how lucky Connor was that they found him.

Sarah wanted to punch something, or someone she wasn't feeling all together picky.

The machines beeped and hummed away while Connor slept, thanks to the drugs they gave him. She didn't blame him for not wanting to go to sleep. He was no help unconscious and Sarah could understand the helplessness.

She shifted uncomfortably in the chair by the bed. You would think they'd have better chairs suited to sitting in for hours and hours at a time. I've been here less than an hour and already-

"Sarah…"

"Connor," she replied, recovering from the shock. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"Must be my special-ness." He smiled at her. She didn't find it funny and frowned instead. "I'm okay."

"Are you in pain?" she asked, ignoring his last comment. "I could get a nurse to give you morphine-"

"I'm okay," he repeated. Sarah looked at him questionably. "Really. Healing already."

"You're positive? I could just go-" Sarah was nearly out of the chair before Connor stopped her.

"Stay. I don't need more drugs. I've been hurt before."

She nodded and sat down. Connor moved his hand closer to hers; she smiled and took his hands in her own. "I'm glad you're okay. I should have come-"

"No, if you had, God knows what would have happened to you."

Sarah nodded again and rested her head on the edge of the mattress still holding Connor's hand in hers.

_What do you do when there is nothing left to say?_

Alyson was the first to see Spike walking down the street towards them. But Briana was the first to start yelling his name. Both Jade and Alyson told her to be quiet; Briana quieted, but didn't look happy about being told to shut up.

"What are you doin' here?" asked the bleached vampire.

"What happened to your clothes?" asked Briana, ignoring his question. Spike glanced down at his tattered jacket and shirt. He looked back up and shrugged dismissively.

"We gotta get Connor," said Spike, turning to walk away.

"Already done," said Alyson. "We found him, he's at the hospital."

"Good," replied Spike, looking genuinely relieved. "Then we have to find the others."

"You know what's happened to them?" jumped in Jade, anxious to find them and get back to Connor. "Where are they?"

"Me and Connor were trying to find them when we got attacked. Bloody pack of demons, vamps too. They got me good, I didn't see what they did with Connor-"

"They tied him to a pole," said Jade.

"Fuck," muttered Spike.

"We have to find the others. Now would be better than later," said Alyson. Spike was impressed that she had already taken the lead of the other girls. But if Sarah had been there, the Brit wouldn't have let Alyson take over. Spike couldn't wait for the tension to begin between the oldest Slayers. "Where to?" she asked Spike.

"A few blocks from here," replied the vampire, pointing south of where they were standing.

"Okay," Alyson said to herself, the sudden weight and importance of what they were about to do fell squarely on her shoulders. "You take the lead," she said to Spike. Briana stepped forward and gave Spike the broadsword Sarah had brought along. Spike grinned appreciatively and took the sword with both hands, feeling the weight of it.

"Let's go save 'em," said Jade as she began walking in the general direction Spike had pointed to. The others quickly caught up with her.

_What do you do when you feel alone?_

Angel and Faith were conscious; Gunn was standing, but only because he was tied up to the nearest beam. But the former-lawyer was out cold.

"You know what's going on?" asked Faith, straining her eyes to see in the pitch-black room.

"Barely. Gunn, you okay?" asked Angel as he began wriggling his hands out of his constraints. "Gunn? You there?"

"I don't think he's all there," answered Faith. "Still sleeping by the lack of sounds. I can't see a damn thing, even with my Slayer eyes."

"I can see just fine."

Faith rolled her eyes. "Of course you can."

Suddenly a door opened and light flooded into the room. Which Faith could now see was a basement judging by the high windows and staircase in front of them.

"Hello," said a voice. "Are we awake?"

"Some of us are," snapped Faith. "Who the hell are you?"

The person climbed down the stairs and both Angel and Faith were surprised that it was an actual human being, dressed to the nines and smiling menacingly.

"I am Mister Allen. I feel that we know each other enough to be on a first name basis," The old man smile widened, giving Faith the creeps.

"I don't remember meeting you," said Angel. "Although I have forgotten meeting certain other individuals in the past, I'm pretty sure you weren't one of them."

"Ah, Mister Angel." The man stepped closer to his tied up prisoners, Faith resisted the urge to visibly flinch. "It is nice to finally meet the man who's will and resourcefulness created this lovely set of circumstances." He gestured around the room, apparently proud of the derelict surroundings. "I thank you."

"You have got to be kidding me," muttered Angel, "who are you?"

"I am Mister Allen. I have told you this already."

"Yeah, we know your name but who are you?" asked Faith, getting tired of his games.

"I am the Mayor of Los Angeles, of course."

"Of course." You're also crazy. "How silly of me."

"Quite understandable," he said, dismissing them with a wave of his aged hand. "You've been cooped up in that Hotel. You don't get out much."

Faith and Angel shared a lot of worry. Who the hell was this guy? Or who did he think he was?

"Wh-what's going on?" asked Gunn as he slowly woke up.

"Ah, Mister Charles, you are awake. This is most pleasing. How nice of you to join us."

Gunn looked confused and shared his views with his friends. "What's going on?"

"Got nabbed," Faith explained.

"Oh." That seemed to be enough information. Gunn shrugged and tried to free himself from the ropes. He was kind of relieved they were there because if he were standing without any 'assistance' he'd fall over.

"It is a honour meeting you all, the pleasure has been all mine. I would like to stay and speak with you some more but I have important business to attend to. Don't be strangers now." He turned and walked back towards the stairs as another man began descending into the basement. "Ah, Mister Christopher. Kill them."

Faith's eyes widened. Gunn began struggling against the ropes around his wrists. Angel however pulled his hands from behind his back and began moving towards Mister Christopher with lightning speed.

_What do you do when you have no other choice?_

"What's that sound?" asked Jade coming to a halt. Spike was already investigating the source of the noises. "Sounds like…fighting."

"Could be them," said Bri, hopefully. "I'd really like it to be them."

"We all would, honey." Alyson walked next to Spike. "You've got better hearing, is it them?"

"It's fighting and could be them. I say we check it out."

The girls nodded in agreement and began slowly walking towards an old apartment building when three people came tumbling out of the front door. Two of them were supporting the third on their shoulders.

"Faith!" cried Spike, he took off and was at his lover's side within seconds. She smiled at him gratefully. "You okay?"

"We're fine," she answered, and then glanced at Gunn. "Kinda. Angel saved us."

"We were coming to do that," said Jade, feeling lame for even saying it.

"Thanks," said Angel, grateful for the attempted rescue. "But we got out of it with sheer determination-"

"And crappy knots," finished Faith.

Gunn groaned, "Pain. I'm in pain. Can we stop talking and start walking?"

"Right," said Bri. "Hospital, here we come. Again," she said frowning for the first time tonight. She didn't like hospitals.

"What do you mean again?" asked Angel. He noticed that Sarah wasn't among their ranks. "Where's Sarah?"

"At the hospital with Connor," answered Briana, not thinking before opening her mouth. She got glares from Jade, Alyson and Spike. Faith shared a worried look with Gunn, while Angel's face slacked and if he had blood circulation he would have paled even further.

"He's okay, it's just that…he wasn't," explained Alyson.

"We have to get there," Angel said, he began moving, Faith had to move quickly to keep up.

_What do you do when you begin to lose?_

Sarah, Jade, Briana and Alyson sat in the waiting room of the intensive care unit. Faith, Spike, Gunn and Angel were all in Connor's room, getting all the information that the doctors were willing to disclose. Which being doctors was never much.

"How long have they been in there?" asked Jade, her head resting in her hands.

"Too long," answered Sarah, "the sun's come up. Spike and Angel will need to take the sewers back to the Hotel. I hope they don't want us to go with them."

"It's weird being around vampires all the time, isn't it?" asked Alyson, settling into the nearest uncomfortable chair. "I mean, feeling that they're close and not having to stake them."

"Yeah," replied Bri, nodding in agreement. Jade nodded also, her head still in her hands. "I know that they are vamps, I know I'm meant to kill the suckers and yet I feel safe and protected. I feel them and don't act on it. It's kinda strange."

Sarah didn't say a word.

_What do you do when your fears are realized?_

Connor was released later that day, against the doctor's wishes. Faith, Jade and Briana went to the hospital to help him home. Angel and Gunn set up his room so he could rest till his wounds healed. His room now had extra creature comforts such as a sofa and for some reasons a large bean bag chair. Gunn said it added class. Alyson wondered where they had gotten the new furnishings but decided she didn't want to know any details.

"Thanks guys," said Connor as he settled himself on his bed. He smiled at them, happy to be out of the hospital and back home. Or as close to home as he could get. His family was still out there and he was determined to find them, but for the moment, his place was here.

Angel, Gunn, Faith and Spike all still sported cuts and bruises from the attack and subsequent escape plan.

The girls, minus Alyson, were training downstairs with Spike. Jade and Briana had really taken to the bleached vampire. A fact that surprised Spike as much as it did the others.

After getting Connor's room ready and the young man settled in, Angel, Gunn and Alyson left him to mend. Connor was glad for one of the first times in his life that he would be healed within days.

The next day Sarah knocked on the door to Connor's room, calm at first but the knocks became more frantic as time went on. The door opened abruptly and Sarah didn't waste a moment and was in the room in an instant.

Connor sensed her panic and tried to get Sarah to stay still. "Hey, hey. What's wrong?"

"Me," she answered simply and plainly, the emotion raw on her face. "I-I don't…" she was falling apart. She never did that. She was strong and didn't let people know when she had a moment of weakness, but with Connor…he made her feel safe.

"Shh. It's okay." He placed his hands on her arms and led her to the chair that was in front of the small wooden desk. Sarah numbly allowed Connor to sit her down. "What happened?"

"I'm not a Slayer."

Connor grinned and nearly burst out laughing, he would have if not for the look on her face. She was serious. "I don't get it."

"I'm just not-" she took a deep shaky breath. "I'm just strong and fast, but I'm not…like them. I don't sense the vampires, I don't feel when they're near. Alyson said that it was strange being near vampires all the time, because she can feel them. Briana and Jade agreed…I had no idea what they were talking about. I don't feel them!"

"No. It doesn't mean anything bad."

"But I don't-"

"No," he said firmly, Sarah stopped talking and tried to calm herself down. But how could she stay calm? This was the only thing her mother was ever proud of. "That's nothing. It doesn't mean anything."

Sarah shoved him away, "This is something. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I-"

"Stop!" Connor took her hands in his. He half expected Sarah to pull her hands away, his heart nearly leapt out of his chest when she didn't. "Okay? We'll talk to my dad; see what he thinks. We'll see what the others think too-"

"I don't want to bother anyone," Sarah interrupted, "it might be nothing like you think. I don't know what came over me."

"Whoa, whoa," said Connor, trying to figure out why Sarah was suddenly dropping the issue and acting as though she had a moment of insanity. "If you think this is important, we'll look into why you can't sense vampires. We'll find out."

Sarah shook her head vigorously. "It's okay. We don't-"

"What's wrong? Why do you want to not worry about this?"

"You think it's something to worry about?" the fear evident on her face. _If he thinks something could be wrong, maybe he won't want to be around me. I don't think I can handle my only friend being Briana. I may kill her before too long._

"No. But you do."

Sarah growled deep in her chest and pushed Connor away. The young man would have fallen backward but caught himself with his hands. Sarah walked past him and headed towards the door.

"Wait." With Connor's speed and skill he was able to beat her to the door.

"Let me out."

"No."

"No?" Sarah placed her hands firmly on her hips, daring him to challenge her. "I'm leaving this room. I don't want to be here, listening to you go on about how it's nothing, but we should tell everyone about this nothing. Like it is a big deal and should be looked into like the next bloody apocalypse!"

"You're not making any sense," he commented, cringing inwardly when he realized how that could be taken the wrong way. "Just talk to me."

"I'm not the next apocalypse," she said, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. Connor swallowed hard, not sure how to handle this new situation. "I don't have these evil thoughts, I don't want to hurt anyone."

"I know that. Believe me."

She nodded slowly and wiped away the tears. Connor felt the urge to do it for her; he was surprised that she could make him feel so much.

"I'm not evil. I don't want them to think I am," she said, finally revealing what she was so afraid of, what was really making her so nervous. "I'm not evil," she repeated, trying to stay in control of the fear that was slowly consuming her. "I'm not evil."

"I know you're not." He took small steps towards her. "You're not evil."

"But I'm not a Slayer."

"We'll worry about that later." Connor took her into his arms; Sarah relaxed against his chest and put her arms around his waist. "We don't have to tell anyone," he said, caressing her back. His heart filled with warmth at the object of his affection being in his arms. And although she was distraught and sobbing silently into his shirt, he smiled because he was the one she chose to make it better. "It'll be alright." He wanted to kiss her; he wanted to take the pain away in any means possible, he wanted to take her away from all this and he finally, completely, understood why his dad had let him go, why he had let Buffy go, why the vampire took it upon himself to erase Connor's old life…it was what he thought was best. He could understand that now. "It'll be alright. It'll be alright."

_What do you do when you are a Slayer?_

Neither noticed Jade standing in the hallway, the door to Connor's door was ajar and she had heard every word. _Sarah's__ not a Slayer! What the hell does that mean?_

_What do you do when the world is handed to you?_

.END.


	15. Waiting

Episode 6.15  
Waiting  
By Karen

He took his frustrations out on the bag in front of him, hitting it with a staccato rhythm that would shame a college-level marching band. Each hit reverberated in his mind like the tap of a drumstick on a marching snare. Each beat melded itself with a word in his mind, a phrase that repeated itself over and over again. Life. Wasn't. Fair.

Of course he knew that. But once upon a time, he hadn't. Once upon a time, he had been the corn-fed Iowa boy Buffy and her friends had thought him to be. He had been the kind to say "Aw shucks," go to church every Sunday, and help Pa with the harvest. He actually grew up on a freaking farm. Back then, life had been fair. Those that worked for it got the best grades, the captain of the football team, and the best girls. That had been him, the local legend.

And then he got recruited, and the 'fair life' he had been living had been shot not only full of bullets, but straight to hell. But he had worked his ass off, harder than most of the others, and when he had been chosen for the special ops program, he had been ecstatic. Yet again, life was fair, he was being rewarded for his good deeds. Until he got shot full of drugs that altered his genetic makeup just slightly, made him sterile, and he got introduced to hell on earth-the hellmouth.

Then he met the girl of his dreams, and things looked up, higher than it had when he was king of his hometown, this was different.

The only problem was, he hadn't even been in hers. Maybe her nightmares, though.

She had only been pretending with him, trying to convince herself she loved him, when she didn't, couldn't, because her dreams were filled with an ancient beast; she called his name in sleep after they had sex sometimes, but he pretended to be asleep as she called for his cold arms to hold her, to never leave her.

So he had tried to forget her, find another to pretend with, as she had with him. He had gone to South America, and he had met Sam, and Sam became the woman he forced himself to see in his dreams, and yet again, life seemed fairer than it had been. Sam had loved him, and he thought he loved Sam. She was supposed to be his everything. They had even talked about and even tried to have children even though their living situation wasn't the safest. They both wanted a large family, wanted a family while they were young so they could spend the most time with their children.

But then reality reared its ugly head. Those God damned drugs Walsh had given him had made him sterile. But that was fine, they'd adopt. Just as long as they were together, it didn't matter. That's what he convinced himself of. As long as he had someone to fill the void in his heart, he'd be fine.

But then he and Sam had had an argument, and she went out by herself. After a while, he raced after her, but it was too late. He found a vampire attached to her neck, and he froze as his imaginary world crashed down around him.

"A message from Angelus. You touched his mate, so now he kills yours."

The vampire hadn't lived to tell Angelus that his message had been delivered, but the fact that Angelus was back could mean only one thing. Buffy was back with Angel, and they had consummated their love yet again, and knowingly she released Angelus onto the unsuspecting world. He hated her for that. He hated her for willingly giving her body to some animal, while he had to coax her every time while they were together.

His commanding officer ordered that he take some time off, so he took her body home to her parents, who didn't even know what she did for a living. And they buried her, and her family comforted him, while he pretended to mourn their daughter, while in truth he mourned the loss of his safe haven. But when he had tried to go back to South America, they wouldn't let him. They said he wasn't ready to come back to duty. So he beat the shit out of some demons, got piss drunk and spent a half hour yelling profanities outside his commanding officer's barracks.

Safe to say he hadn't been honorably discharged.

But instead of going back to the world he knew he couldn't, instead of going back to Iowa, and finding one of the girls he had gone to high school with, and pretending to fall in love with her, and settling down with her and have a ton of kids and take over his father's farm, he came here. He came here for one reason, and one reason only. Angelus.

He had convinced a few of the younger recruits to join him, forging orders of change of base, and he set up base here, in LA, with stolen technology and stolen power. And now he was just biding his time.

But the one thing that was supposed to distract him from everything until the time was right- the demons-were strangely absent. They had found the remains of a huge battle in the alley behind an old hotel, but by the extent of the destruction, there should be ten times the demons. Sure, there were vampire nests, and a few demonic clans that had settled into the city. But the horde of demons the traffic cameras had caught on tape were gone.

"Did. They. Think. I. Wasn't. Watching. Them?" he asked himself, his attacks punctuating every word. Just when they were starting to make headway in this damned town, just when he thought he was wrong, that Buffy wasn't with that bastard, that she was somewhere else, wishing she hadn't let him go, she walked onto the scene as if on cue.

She was here, and she was with him.

The thought made him sick.

He wanted to hate her with a passion, he wanted to strangle her for what she did to him, he wanted to be able to kill her for what she did. He wanted to blame her for Sam's death, and the death of his happiness, but he knew she wasn't to blame. And he couldn't kill her for not loving him, because deep down, he knew she couldn't help it. That vampire had put her under his thrall, had tainted her from loving a human being, from loving him. How could he compare to a vampire that had over 200 years of experience fucking around with virgins? Oh, yeah, he'd done his research on Angelus. He knew his likes and dislikes, and he would use that knowledge to his advantage. No, he couldn't kill her for what she had done to him.

But he could kill him.

* * *

Faith was in her room, trying to go through the training manuals Buffy had given her. Files and papers lay all over the bed as she tried to fight her way through one of the folders. The thought that B trusted her over Angel to get these girls trained surprised her. But it also gave her a funny feeling inside; no one had ever really trusted her before.

Then a knock sounded on her door. She looked up from the technical language, "Come in," she called.

Jade opened the door, looking uncomfortable. Faith put the folders aside, sitting up straighter, "What's wrong, Jade?" she asked,

"I was, well, wondering if you happened to have any…girl type things," she said slowly, dragging it out.

Faith stared at her a moment before she understood. "Oh, uh, yeah. I nicked some a few weeks back, figuring that the boys wouldn't want to be knowing about shit like that," she said, climbing off the bed, "They're in the bathroom, I'll get them."

"Just a few. It's not as heavy as it usually is. I, uh, probably should have asked you earlier, I…kinda knew this week would be the one," she said as Faith went into the bathroom.

Coming back out of the bathroom, Faith looked at Jade oddly, "You've been with us for over two months, Jade," she said. "Why is this the first time…?"

"Yeah, I know. I, uh, missed last month's. I wasn't exactly eating right for awhile there, I had lost a lot of weight," she explained, but Faith wouldn't let it slide. "But I've gained a few pounds since living with you guys, somehow." She hugged her middle as she left, the feminine products in the pouch of the oversized sweatshirt she tended to wear. Faith stared after her, her mind jumping to conclusions about the fifteen year old that reminded her so much of herself when she had been that age. And that was what scared her most.

* * *

He stood there, staring out the window, as his secretary entered, closing the door behind him. He waited for the man to speak. He was a patient man, adept at playing the game of waiting. He had been waiting a very long time. And if he had to keep waiting, then that was fine.

"The surveillance feed you picked up, sir, it's government issued machinery, but there is no government sanctioned troops in the area," his secretary finally said.

"Then where's the feed going to?"

"There is a shoddily set up base three blocks from the hotel."

"But you said-" he started patiently, knowing his secretary would fill in the gaps if he gave him just a bit of prodding.

"They're not supposed to be here, sir. They were supposed to have pulled out three weeks ago. The squadron is being headed by a man named Riley Finn, and he was discharged fifteen months ago. It seems that he has forged papers to keep the men here."

"What are his plans, I wonder?" he asked.

"From what we could tell, he's set on revenge. It seems that Angelus killed his wife two years ago, and he is bent on revenge." His secretary was silent a moment, before hesitating to add, "Mr. Allen, sir, if this Finn is set on killing Angelus, then maybe he will-"

"Call Mr. Finn's people. I think the two of us need to sit down and chat," he said.

"Yes, sir," his secretary left.

Alone, Mr. Allen shook his head. He was fine with waiting. He had been waiting such a long time, a few more months wouldn't hurt any. But he didn't like it when young upstarts, in a hurry, impatient, came in and ruined his carefully laid plans.

He sighed, he missed Christopher, his muscle. Every man in power needs muscle, he knew that well. But after Christopher had failed him, he didn't mind waiting, but he hated it when someone failed him. He would wait for Christopher to plead for death before he gave it to him.

He lifted the report his secretary had left him on his desk, flipping through the information they had found on Finn. He sighed in dismay. Such a promising career, and he threw it all away because he was reckless, impatient. He could go so far in military politics.

But his rashness could be put to use, Mr. Allen thought. If he could keep Angel and his friends busy, then they wouldn't be able to ruin his plans, wouldn't be able to stop him. That was what he hated most, when carefully laid plans were dashed because someone was brash, rude.

* * *

"How long has he been in there?" Greg asked, sitting at the consoles of the cameras they had placed on the third floor.

"Couple hours," his buddy told him as he flipped through an adult magazine, sitting in front of the monitors for the cameras on the second floor.

"What's eating him?" Frank asked, making himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He was supposed to be watching the first floor cameras.

"Did you see the way he reacted when that blonde showed up? Looked like he might blow a gasket," Greg said as he leaned back in his chair. "Damn, nothing happens on the third floor, they don't even have any habitable rooms in the third floor," he grumbled. "Brad, wanna trade?"

"Like hell I do," he said, turning the page of his magazine. "You know he'll flip if we 'deviate from the schedule,'" he pitched his voice higher, mocking the captain.

"I knew him, back before all this, when his wife was still alive. He's really changed. D-Do you think that he's still all there in there?" Greg asked.

"Who cares? This mission's the pits anyway," Frank said.

"What are the rules for being on surveillance?" a voice from the door asked. Brad dropped his magazine, Greg sat up straight, and Frank crammed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth. "This mission is important, but you wouldn't know that the way you behave!" she cried, walking into the small room, her heels clicking against the linoleum. "We all know he has some hidden motive behind this mission, but he is still the captain. You take orders, and you complete them, whether you like it or not. Got that?" she asked.

The three men mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Yes, ma'am," they said as one.

"Good."

* * *

His punches beat a staccato rhythm on the punching bag as she crept into the room. She idolized him for his calm, cool collectedness under pressure, she admired him for his natural leading ability.

She watched him slam his fists into the bag again and again. She knew he had recently lost his wife, who had died in the line of duty. She also knew that he was still grieving, and he was plotting revenge on the ones responsible.

But someday she hoped she could get him to forget his dead wife, and move on with his life, with her by his side.

"Sir?" she alerted him to her presence, watching as the sweat ran down his bare back.

"What?" he asked, turning towards her, and she gazed at his broad chest.

"You have a call on line two."

He nodded, dismissing her with a wave of his hands. Soon enough Angelus would get what he deserved; he and all those that aligned themselves with such evil. They would get what was coming to them, and the world would be a better place. He'd just have to wait.

She left, thinking that someday he wouldn't be able to dismiss her so easily. Someday, his pretty dead wife wouldn't always be on his mind. Someday would come soon enough. She could bide her time, wait for it to come.


	16. Reaching For the Stars

Episode 6.16  
Reaching For the Stars  
By Rebecca

With a frustrated groan Alyson threw herself onto her bed. She had been working on this song for weeks and she just couldn't get that chord right. She hugged her guitar to her chest and sighed. Life sure had changed a lot in the last six years. Her mother dying, having to take care of her younger sisters, being called, and finally ending up here. Yep, it had been a long year and it wasn't anywhere near over yet. She missed her sisters. McKennan was somewhere in England at a boarding school and Laura was in Italy being trained by Giles. They were sixteen now, beautiful absolutely brilliant girls. They had been the bane of Alyson's existence for the last six years. Her mother had been a working girl, moving from Houston to Brooklyn after she'd had the twins. Alyson could still remember that fateful day that her mother had been shot. Alyson was fourteen and her mother was on her way home when she got on the wrong side of a gang fight. Alyson had to raise her sisters. She'd gotten two steady jobs to pay for the apartment and the utilities. Food was a constant struggle. She had often found herself on the street corner playing her guitar and singing, hoping people would drop money in her guitar case. Luckily Alyson was good so she often earned enough money to keep her sisters fed.

She was jarred from her memories by the sound of retching in the bathroom next to her. Grimacing at the noise she put up her guitar and walked towards the unpleasant noises. She knocked on the door for a moment and when there was no response she slowly opened the door, "Jade? Is that you again?"

"Yes," replied a timid voice.

"Honey, this is the fourth night," she checked her watch, "scratch that, morning that you've been sick in a row. Are you sure that you don't want me to find a doctor?"

Jade held her head over the toilet, still nauseated. As Alyson held her hair and pressed a cool cloth on her neck she began to retch again. After awhile she stopped and leaned against the wall, "Honestly, it's just a touch of the flu, I'll be perfectly fine."

"Sure it is. Let's get you back in bed honey," Alyson said as she gently helped her up and guided her to her room.

"I'm sorry Alyson," the girl mumbled. "I promise…won't…" she trailed off tiredly.

"I know honey. Just go to sleep," Alyson said as she laughed softly at herself while she tucked Jade in. She knew Jade wouldn't thank her in the morning. She would only continue to ignore her, but that was just how Alyson was. She was used to doing thankless tasks for sick people. There had been many times that she'd had to do this for her mother. She kissed Jade's forehead and walked down towards the kitchen. She went down the stairs and entered the spacious area.

"Do you ever sleep?" a voice asked from beside the refrigerator.

She jumped and turned to see Angel standing behind her, a mug of blood in his hands and an amused look on his face. Smiling at him she shook her head, "No," she laughed as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Why?"

"I'm an insomniac," she replied easily with a shrug.

The vampire nodded understandingly. Looking at Alyson thoughtfully, he asked, "How are you adjusting?"

"Wow, Buffy must've told you to socialize or something."

"How do you figure that?"

"You don't strike me as the type to really socialize. You just…" She paused as she searched for the right words, "brood." She watched Angel smirk and shake his head. "Just because I haven't been here long doesn't mean I haven't noticed anything. So what are you up to?"

He pointed to his mug of blood and said simply, "Vampire."

"True, very true," she admitted, laughing embarrassedly, "So why don't you socialize with the other girls? Your verbal skills seem a little rusty, but practice makes perfect."

Angel couldn't help but laugh at her cheeky smile, "What are you two up for?" Gunn called from the doorway.

"We could ask you the same thing," Alyson said.

"I couldn't sleep with all the racket you two were making," he replied.

"Oh my god! We are not loud!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with amusement. She punched Gunn lightly on the shoulder.

"Ouch! Girl, are you trying to break me?" he asked, rubbing his shoulder gingerly.

"No," she replied smirking mischievously.

Angel watched the exchange with a bemused glance. They were as bad as Connor and Sarah, "You never answered my question…" he said, quickly growing tired of their antics.

"Well I mean I'm good. I missed my sisters being here on my twentieth birthday, but I'll live," she replied, trying valiantly to smile, but Angel saw the sadness in her eyes.

"When was your birthday?" Gunn asked conversationally. He really didn't want this moment to end.

"It was last week," she spoke softly, a small smile on her face. Her eyes were glazed over, something both men took note of. She looked like she desperately wanted to cry.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Angel asked.

"Everyone was recuperating from the mass kidnapping….I guess it didn't seem important." She looked at both of their concerned faces and rolled her eyes, "I'm fine," she insisted.

"You sure?" Gunn asked, his hand resting gently on her shoulder.

"Yeah," she replied. She shivered at his touch. She felt tingly…it was nice.

"Happy late birthday," Angel said kindly. He honestly really didn't care much for birthdays, they seemed pretty pointless. At the end of that day they were still here, a year closer to their death. Why would anyone want to celebrate something like that?

She laughed softly, "Thanks." She walked into the lobby humming softly to herself. Lying on the couch she noticed how tired she really was. Yawning she turned to her side and closed her eyes.

The sound of Tyra Bank's voice jarred Alyson awake. Sitting up she looked around the lobby for the source of the noise cause there was no way in hell that Tyra was in the hotel. Briana sat at the far end of the couch, legs crossed, watching an episode she'd taped of America's Next Top Model. Alyson took in her mangled Happy Bunny Pajamas and the bowl of cereal Bri was munching on. She reminded her so much of McKennan. She stretched, yawning loudly in the process, making her presence known. "So who's getting eliminated?"

Briana jumped. "Did I wake you up?"

Alyson shrugged, "Not really."

"I want that chick Jaide to go." The younger girl replied as she stared at the TV. They had obtained it a couple of weeks ago and Gunn had hooked everything up. The damn thing even had cable with 100+ channels. Of course, it was obtained illegally, but then again what could ya do?

"Me too," Alyson agreed, heading toward the kitchen for coffee. As she made some eggs she kept her ear trained to the television. She and McKennan had loved watching America's Next Top Model together and guessing who would get eliminated. It was one of their few bonding activities after she was called. She finished cooking her food and headed back to the living room, "I can't believe they eliminated Brooke last week," she said as she sat down beside Briana.

Briana continued to stuff cereal in her mouth, "I know!" she exclaimed, laughing. "So do you play guitar?" she asked, her eyes trained to the floor.

"Why do you ask?" Alyson looked at her suspiciously.

"I-I-I well, I mean, I-" she stammered.

Laughing Alyson nodded, "Yeah I'm better at piano, but I couldn't bring that with me so yeah."

"I didn't go in your room or anything. I just looked in the door cause it was open and all. I wasn't trying to be nosy," Bri said hurriedly.

Still laughing, Alyson hugged the younger girl tightly, "It's fine sweetness."

"Really?" she replied, the shock evident on her face. "Wow you're way different from Sarah. She totally flips out if you even so much as look at her wrong. I don't even want to contemplate what she'd do if I touched her stuff."

Alyson thought for a moment, yes, she and Sarah WERE very different. Alyson had never been good with rules…She did things her own way on her own terms. She'd always been a free spirit whereas Sarah was rigid, she had to follow the rules, have some kind of direction. It annoyed Alyson to no end. "Let's not go there. I really don't want to see Sarah angry. Don't you share a bathroom with her?"

"Yeah. She's okay. I mean," she paused sighing, "She's a lot nicer once you get to know her."

"And how long does that tend to take?" Alyson asked, quirking an eyebrow, amused. She really had no problem with Sarah other than her blatant dismissal of Alyson's existence. Briana didn't answer, already absorbed back into the TV. Alyson got up and sighed, just once she'd like a conversation to end on her terms rather than people losing interest in her. She walked up to her room and grabbed her CD player. Moving towards the workout room she passed Sarah and Connor seemingly deep in conversation. She rolled her eyes and continued on her way. They really just needed to kiss already. The tension between the two was so blatantly obvious. Her eyes zeroed in on the punching bag as she entered the basement. After taking off her shirt she jammed her headphones onto her ears. Alanis Morissette's angry voice filled her ears and she went at it. She punched and kicked with a vicious ferocity, as if trying to kill something threatening.

Stupid parents. Couldn't take care of themselves let alone their children. The room filled with the sound of her spastic punching and sobs. Leaving them cold and alone, on the streets, with bills to pay. Spending their fucking paychecks on drugs. BAM! The ceiling of the training room cracked with her punch. Bastard Father. Leaving when the twins were born. No child support. Just debts and loan sharks hounding a helpless nine year old. "Ahh!" She yelled angrily, her attacks on the punching bag reaching a new level of intensity. Stupid dumbass boys promising to take care of her, then breaking her fucking heart and ripping her life to shreds. Using and abusing her. Trying to whore her out. Late nights in strip clubs looking for her inebriated mother who was almost always on stage. So much time for men who didn't give a damn about her, but not a moment to spare for her kids whom loved her with all their hearts. Even though she didn't deserve that love in any way. Alyson stopped as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned, wiping her tears away and crossing her arms over her sports bra. She looked at Gunn silently and waited for him to say something. He didn't and the silence stretched for what seemed to be eons of time.

Gunn was speechless. He usually had an abundance of words at his disposal, at least since he'd received that Wolfram and Hart implant. His hand moved towards her agonized face, wiping tears away with the pad of this thumb. "Umm. We're running out of food. I was wondering if you want to go get some with me and Faith?"

Her face was red. Why the hell did he have to find me like this? She took a deep breath as she chastised herself. As she regained her composure she looked at him and smiled, "Sure. Anything to get out of this house."

"Come on it's not that bad," he replied, putting his arm around her shoulders and squeezing.

"You obviously have no idea what it's like to be the new girl in a house with cliques do you?" she sighed, leaning into his touch as he led her out of the basement. She looked down and her clothes and groaned, "I'm going to go change. I'll be right back."

He sighed, women and their clothes. "Okay. I'll wait for you and Faith down here." He grabbed a magazine from the coffee table and began to flip through it without interest. After doing that with about three magazines he checked his watch, "ALYSON! FAITH! Come on. We're not going to a club or anywhere fancy. Let's just go already."

"We're coming. Slow your roll man," Faith said as she and Alyson came down the stairs, exhaustion evident on both of their faces.

"What's with you two?" Gunn asked.

"Jade's sick," Faith answered monotonously.

"Oh great." A voice sounded from the couch. They all looked around to see Sarah and Connor sitting close, their heads turned towards them. Sarah spoke again, "Do you have any idea how much that's going to ruin our patrol assignments?" She rolled her eyes and looked to Faith, "Who's taking care of her?"

"That would be me, pet," Spike interrupted as he came down the stairs, "She doesn't look too good, love."

"You think we need to call a doctor or a healer or something?" Faith asked worriedly.

"I don't know," Sarah cut in. "But this isn't the first night she's been sick. I know that someone put her back to bed last night after her latest 'episode' last week."

"Who put her to bed?" Worry was written all over Faith's face.

"I did."

"Alyson? Why didn't you get one of us?" Faith said as she turned toward the girl, her eyebrows raised.

"I actually thought you knew," the girl replied shrugging. "It's not like you guys actually talk to me about anything."

Spike laughed and looked at Alyson, his amusement clear in his eyes, "You're a cheeky one aren't you?" He turned to Faith and started to push her towards the door, "Look, I'll watch her. You and Gunn need to go with the bint here to get food cause even though me and Angel can go without food I doubt your bodies will survive that long without it. The last thing we need is dead slayers. Then I'd have nothing to look at."

Faith and Alyson hit him at the same time. Faith's eyes narrowed, "Yeah you can look, but I sure as hell better be the only one you touch."

Connor laughed and threw the keys to his Jeep at Alyson, "Hey take my car. You're going to need the storage space."

"Should we pick up any blood for you boys?" Faith asked Spike, kissing him on the cheek.

"No love. We've got a quite a bit," Spike said kissing her soundly on the lips. "Now go."

"Okay we're gone. We'll be back in a little bit," Gunn said as he ushered the girls out the door. They walked to the car, Alyson sitting in the drivers seat, "Damn. You two take forever to get ready."

Alyson cranked up the car and looked in the mirror at Faith, "I really didn't know you guys weren't aware. If I had been I would've totally told you. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, well it's kind of my fault too. I don't think anyone has been exactly friendly or welcoming to you when you came here," Faith was surprised at herself as apologies were so uncharacteristic for her.

"Yeah well next time I hear her throwing up I'll be sure to get you first thing," Alyson was speeding down the road, the acceleration of the car the only thing betraying her angered demeanor. She wasn't angry at Faith and them or anything like that, but she was livid. All this reminiscing of her past was getting to her.

"Yo girl. Slow down. I don't want to die in this car," Gunn said as he gripped her shoulder when she made a turn.

"Sorry. I drive fast," she replied sheepishly, the blush on her cheeks having nothing to do with her embarrassment.

"No sweat. Just get us there and back in one place," he said as she began to slow down.

Faith leaned forward from the backseat and smiled at Gunn, "Hey live a little on the wild side. We promise not to kill ya. Gun it girl." Faith was excited, she loved going fast. It kept you from looking back because everything just ended up being a blur.

"Thanks, but we're already here," she said as she watched Gunn fly out of the car and kiss the ground. She and Faith laughed heartily. Something struck Alyson's mind. She turned to Faith and put her hand on her arm, "Wait. Have you ever considered that Jade might be pregnant? I mean I know it sounds pretty damn impossible but I can't help but think that it explains everything."

"Well the thought has crossed my mind, but it's highly doubtful. Though…" Faith trailed off. She did miss those periods…

"FAITH! ALYSON! COME ON!" Gunn yelled from the entrance of the deserted supermarket.

"I guess that's our cue," Faith said as she jumped out of the car.

Alyson watched both of them enter and slammed her head on the steering wheel. She had to be the world's biggest idiot for talking. They didn't want to her theories. All they wanted was her to fight. And that was what she would do. "Lalala." She sang as she headed towards the supermarket.

"Alyson come on. We can't carry all this shit by ourselves," Gunn yelled.

She sped up and walked through the heavily damaged store doors. She looked around and got a buggy. She was putting a bunch of haircare, toiletries, makeup, and feminine products in her buggy when she spotted an electric keyboard. Her fingers itched to touch it. She looked around and saw that Faith and Gunn were nowhere to be seen. She pulled her buggy up beside it and turned it on. It worked! Softly she began to bang out some chords to her newest song. The familiar feeling came over her, she was losing herself again. She sighed, it'd been so long since she'd gotten to this place of total peace. Suddenly she heard clapping. Opening her eyes she found herself face to face with Gunn. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slack off. I'm going right back to working."

He almost laughed at the guilty look on her face, "No it was good. Does it have words?"

"Yeah," she replied trying to hide her blush at getting caught.

"Sing it." He looked expectant.

"What?!"

"Just sing it," he said as he pushed the record button on the piano.

She took a deep breath and stopped the music. "It's a'capella right now. The music doesn't fit yet." She bit her lip and looked at him. "If you laugh I'll kill you."

_"It's a life choice I didn't make myself  
And a battle I'm forced to fight  
At the mercy of my conscience  
I will never fade away_

_It's a life full of big decisions  
One wrong move could be destruction  
And at the mercy of my heart  
I will never fade away_

_Fall out of the darkness  
To shimmer in the light  
A translucent veil of apathy  
I know I continue the fight_

_When you lose everything  
You learn what really matters  
And that life isn't ever easy  
And sometimes comfort forsakes you_

_It takes all my strength  
To not break down  
I will survive this storm  
And I will get what I deserve  
Redemption is my reward_

_It's a road I was destined to take  
With twists and turns and some heartbreak  
And at the mercy of my soul  
I will never fade away_

_It's a life choice I didn't make myself  
And a battle I'm forced to fight  
At the mercy of my conscience  
I will never fade away"_

She couldn't meet Gunn's eyes as she finished. She just walked back over to the piano and bundled it up, putting it on the bottom of her buggy along with a stereo system for the training area. "I'm going to go get food now. I've already stocked up on stuff for the girls. I know what they wanted and I even organized it and…" She looked up to find him directly in front of her, brushing her hair from her face. "What are you doing?" she asked Gunn, her voice only a whisper.

"I don't know," he replied, still caressing her face.

"Yo!! Guys I'm already on my second buggy. So stop making kissy face and go get stuff we need or want," Faith yelled, throwing a bag of Funions at them.

"Why all the hostility? Why you gotta throw Funions at a brother?" Gunn said, faking a ghetto accent and grabbing another buggy. They ran through the store in a frenzy throwing things at eachother like immature teenagers. Eventually it looked like they had enough to last them for years and they pushed the nine buggies full of stuff up to the car. "Are you sure you're going to get all this stuff in this tiny little car?"

"No, but we can try," Alyson said as she threw stuff in the car. When they had finished the car was filled from top to bottom from the second row of seats to the very back of the car. The only places to sit were the two seats up front. She looked at the keys in her hand and threw them to Gunn, "You drive mister 'we're all gonna die'," she teased.

"Then where are you going to sit?" he asked.

"Well I think I'm going to sit in her lap," Faith interrupted, laughing. "We'll be a teenage boys wet dream or Spike's. Oh joy," she said sarcastically.

* * *

Sarah checked her watch again, "Where the bloody hell are they? They were supposed to be back an hour ago. How long does it take to get the stupid groceries…I mean-" She stopped her rambling as Connor turned her head towards his, "hi," she said softly.

"Hi," he replied. He was so nervous. He felt like he couldn't move. His body seemed to be having a temporary seizure for the moment.

Sarah waited for him to make a move, "Aren't you going to do anything?"

"Well, when I thought I could move," Connor said, his voice squeaking.

She laughed at his remark and leaned forward, kissing him softly. She began to pull away, but Conner, as his body had finally found the courage to move, held her close, resting his forehead against hers.

"Well..." Briana said as she entered the room.

Sarah and Connor flew apart, landing at separate ends of the couch. "Umm Briana, what are you doing up so early?" Connor asked nervously as he ran his hands through his hair.

"It's four. I'm just going to go help with the groceries and stuff," she said as she headed for the door, a smile threatening to burst on her face.

"They're here?" Sarah asked as she smoothed out her clothes.

"Yeah. I think you were too busy to hear them," she teased as she walked out the door. Finally!! The two idiots had kissed. She looked at Gunn and Alyson messing around by the fountain in front of the hotel. She and Faith caught each other's eye and smirked. Well well well, looks like another love connection is coming into our group! Oh god!! Does the coupling and mating of the heroes ever end! She laughed at her own wit and waved at Gunn, running to hug him. This was going to be an interesting situation.


End file.
